Roommates
by nebhat04
Summary: Len's searching for a new roommate in Vienna. He's strict rules and high expectations but a nice girl accepts him and becomes his roommate. Complications, overflowing and hidden emotions, fights and misunderstandings are leading them to the stage of life
1. Rules

**Roommates**

**Chapter 1: Rules **

* * *

There is no sensation to compare with this… This is the feeling of being abandoned. When you let someone to creep into your favor then the person just stands up and leaves…

As I glare at her fading smile, a keen pain grabs my heart. As I eye the chair how she pushes it slowly back… She places her fork next to the plate… abruptly she snatches up her purse and turns her back on me… I'm silently watching as her trembling footsteps become a steady march. The door opens then made a dull noise as she lets it closed by itself. I can still hear her stilettos` patter on the sidewalk… My ears are able to follow her trail for a while, and then the noise dies away with her silhouette. Sensing how our bodies are separating by the never ending distance makes my heart cry. My throat is getting dry by each moment… I glare at the remoteness and I sip my sour wine…

She melted away all of my icicles… so it is true… **'Amor vincit omnia'**…

* * *

"So… how does she look like? "

"Don`t ask unreasonable questions! "

My friend. Probably my only friend. Like if I care for friends. I don't need any. But somehow he has been my so called 'friend' since we were toddlers. Hihara Kazuki. Yes, that is his name. He has light green shaggy styled hair and he is playing the trumpet. He is tall and handsome and totally different than me. Mirth surrounds his entire soul. He always has a healthy, joyful smile on his face. Why is he my only friend? The answer is really easy: Because he is the only one who doesn't complain much about my attitude. He accepted me without wanting to change me.

"Come on Len! Don't be cheap with your friend! Well, she will be your 6th roommate during 1 month. That`s a record, I hope you know. " He giggles. Of course he does. But for me this is not a funny fact.

"You are eating your roommates! You just scare everyone! " He keeps laughing with complete innocence.

"She will be my 6th roommate if she comes back. "

"Did you give her your… errr… iron-clad rule book? " He is covering his mouth to avoid more guffaws. He knows it annoys me to death.

"Yes I did. I didn't give to anyone before, maybe in this way we can spare time. "

"You are insane. She is not coming back. I'm 100% sure. " He states this sentence with so much pride in his voice. Probably he has right.

"Whatever… "

"I told you many times that we can have a bigger place with Ryo and live together. "

"Through my dead body! I will never live with that guy under one roof! "

"Then keep consuming roommates. "

I shrug my shoulders and try to think back how she behaved when she came to check on the room. Maybe I can figure out if she will accept to be my roommate or not.

* * *

"Hi, I'm Hino Kahoko! " Her lips curved up into a magnificent smile. I`ve never seen anything like that before. Neither Kazuki can produce such a smile. Her pure face was gleaming in the livid autumn sunrays.

"Tsukimori Len. Shall we go? " I heaved bluntly and led the way to my apartment.

"Wow, this is amazing! " That was all she said but her sparkling eyes revealed her enthusiasm. She really liked the place.

"Before you decide to move in, please read this out. " I handed over some papers which contained my rules. " I am a very strict and meticulous person. If you are unable to meet my requirements, don't waste time with each other. "

She painted her face with a serious look but her smile never faded away. She grasped the papers and put them into her handbag.

"I'll call you in three days. " These were the last words that she told me on that day.

* * *

"So she said that she will call you in 3 days? "

"Yes, she did. It is due today. "

"Well, it's 6 pm… she still has time to call you. What do you think, will she move in? "

"I really don't know. I tried to recall the memories when she was checking on the room but I don't have any idea. She looked normal and cheerful. "

"How old is she? "

"No idea. "

"More or less? "

"She must be a university student. She looks young and behaves a little bit childish. But I saw her handbag was packed with thick books. "

"I see. OK Len, I'm going now. See you tomorrow on class. "

"See you. "

* * *

7:30 pm… and I'm pacing up and down… checking my cell phone. Still nothing. She hasn't called me yet. It is not that important. It was my mother's idea to get a roommate. This girl is Japanese and it is really hard to find a good roommate in Vienna. Maybe she can cook…

* * *

**Meanwhile, in a cozy hotel room**

"So this is it. It is artless that everyone has its own rules. And that house belongs to him so it is really natural that he sets the rules. I'm lucky to find someone in this mess… Let's read out these papers…"

1. This is my house. These are my rules. If you are unable to obey them, trash these papers and don't call me. If you decide to continue reading, try to respect my rules!

2. I wake up at 6 am every morning. I use the bathroom then the kitchen. Try not to use these rooms at the same time.

3. I have classes until 4 pm then I head home. I practice my violin or I do my homework at the afternoon and I require silence!

4. I go to sleep at 10 pm. Don't make noise after curfew!

5. Make a list when will you take a shower or use the kitchen! I intend to avoid unpleasant situations!

6. If you can cook, I give you discount from the renting fee.

7. I dislike dirty environment. Always clean after yourself!

8. Don't bring up any of your friends without my permission!

9. If you arrive home after 10 pm, be really careful to not wake me up!

10. Don't come into my room unless I invite you in!

11. Don't waste my time with unreasonable questions! We are individuals! Respect each other and our spaces!

12. No pets!

13. Rent is paid on the 1st of the month with the divided utility bills.

"These are not so bad… I think I can handle his rules. As I can see, renting money is the least important for him. "

* * *

"She is still not calling me and it's 9:20 pm. I go to sleep at 10…. If she doesn't call me then I believe that she doesn't want to move in and I search for a new candidate. "

"Oh finally my phone is ringing…. It is Hino Kahoko. "

"Tsukimori Len. Good evening Hino! "

"Good evening Tsukimori-kun! I'd like to ask when I can move in. "

"Are you sure about this? I'm not going to be easy on you because you are a girl. "

Silence… she is thinking. Or rather, she is hesitating.

"I'll be fine, Tsukimori-kun. " I can see her glamorous face with that unique smile.

"OK then, I'll see you around tomorrow after 5 pm. "

"Perfect! Good night Tsukimori-kun! "

* * *

"So she did call you! That's great! Do you need any help with her moving? "

"No, it will be fine. "

"So, Tsukimori, eventually, you've found a roommate…again… " Tsuchiura Ryoutarou says with a teasing voice. He has just popped out of nowhere and with one sentence he makes me angry. I'm unable to comprehend why my mother likes him and plays the piano with this guy…

I flinch and ignore him.

"Yes he did. She is a young girl and she said yes to be his roommate after reading his rules. That is a miracle! " Kazuki is cheerful as ever and thank God, he tells the details to that pianist. He saved me this time again.

He irritates me with his mere presence. I just cannot explain what is so nerve-racking in Tsuchiura. I only know if he is not in a 10 miles radius I feel uneasy.

"I'm going home. She will arrive in 1 hour. See you tomorrow. "

I silently leave the two of them.

* * *

It is over 5 pm and she is not coming. Did she make a fool of me? Did she want to show me that nobody would accept my stupid rules? Am I a thickhead? Will I ever be able to live with someone in the far future or am I really lost in this case? Am I too strict? If there are no rules, everyone would get into boorish habits… I have to glue myself to the rules!

'Ding-dong' I hear the doorbell. "At last, she has arrived! " I open the door and there she is. She is soaked. Her clothes are wet, also her hair and her luggage. She only has one huge luggage.

"Come in!" I let her go into her room. "Do you have more stuff? "

"No, this is all. "

After all, that room is fully furnished. She doesn't need anything besides her personal belongings.

"There you go. This is the list when I will use the kitchen and the bathroom. I didn't include emergency. Hopefully, your toleration will be expanded when I have emergency…for example right now. May I use the bathroom? "

I'm staring at her with wide eyes… Maybe she was waiting for my courtesy, which doesn't exist. I should have asked her if she needed help with the moving. I didn't even realize that it is raining so heavily… She is really considerate of me, but not of herself. She will catch a cold if she doesn't get into the hot water as soon as possible.

"You may use it. There are towels in the closet. "

She's disappeared.

* * *

I'm sitting in the living room and reading a book when I hear that she has finished the shower and gone to the room. Should I go and… No, it is a bad idea. I let her have more privacy.

"Tsukimori-kun! " She is standing above me in a…. light pink short pant with a spaghetti strap top… same color. I gulp… I've never seen a girl with this kind of attire. It must have been a bad idea to get a female roommate.

"Tsukimori-kun! "

"Ah, sorry. Did you say something? "

"I'm done unpacking. What would you like to have for dinner? "

She does know how to cook. That is really reassuring and lucky.

"Anything… I'm not that picky. "

"OK. Oh, Tsukimori-kun. I'm happy to be your roommate! Let's enjoy our time together! " She festoons her face with a shy smile and reaches for my hand.

I timidly pull my hand to the direction of hers and we meet halfway. Her skin is so soft… it is like silk. I can feel that she is trembling a little… her temperature is so hot. But I accept the friendly handshake.

"OK… " I blurt out this simple word with a cold tune…. Maybe she will be a perfect roommate.

* * *

Million thanks for reading! Please review! :)

'Amor vincit omnia' - Love conquers all /Latin proverb


	2. Breaking some rules

**Roommates**

**Chapter 2: Breaking some rules**

* * *

Does he refer to something unpleasant? Like it didn't mean anything to him… did he really say it? Did he really hollow my heart out? A strange feeling creeps over me… our fruitful relationship has turned into a parched tree with one, simple statement. Maybe he hasn't changed at all.

Leisurely, I push my chair back. I can hear how the legs made the squeaky noise. I place my fork next to the plate and grab my purse. I beam one last agile glance at his stoic expression and I turn my back on him. My legs are shaking but I can't let him know that I am sad. My lament must be concealed… it is securely locked behind my mind's door. But a screaming tear nips down on my face… it slowly becomes a racing river on my cheeks… I try to sense the expanding distance between our bodies…. Until there is nothing… just empty space and silence….

**Daydreaming is poison for life… it is tinted on a colorful firmament by a squint-eyed painter…**

* * *

I'm cold. I'm so cold…

I can see my breath and I will have rime on my hair if I don't do something. How are the rules? … Oh yeah, I'm not allowed to go into his room unless he invites me in. But this is an emergency! Where can I find the heater and how can I turn it on? I'm freezing…

With a shaking body I reach his door and halt before it. I'm standing on my tiptoes and hesitating. I really don't want to wake him up… but I…I should ask him about the heater.

Tardily, I avert the doorknob and peek in. He is sleeping peacefully… I shouldn't wake him up. But I slide next to his bed and I catch myself watching his serene expression. If I look closer, he is handsome and attractive. I wish I could see his smiling lips…

Wait… is he shaking? Yes, it is also cold here and the blanket is on the floor.

I pick up the blanket and very carefully I cover his lean body.

Nothing will happen if I caress his cheeks… it is just too tempting. He is so adorable and cute… And he has some locks on his face. I should help him to brush them away.

Wow, his hair is like velvet! I would never think that his cerulean hair is so soft and neat.

"What are you doing in my room? " His voice is like a frosty winter breeze…

Oh no, he is awake! I feel the blood is rushing over my body and gathering up in my face. I'm flushed like a lobster. Kahoko, come on! Move your hand! Move your hand! Your fingers are still touching his cheeks! Kahoko!

"What are you doing here? " His words are full with anger and annoyance. He is scary. His eyes are floating in an ominous glitter.

I'm panicky. What should I do… what should I do? My hand is petrified… and I'm unable to move it.

He places his hand on mine… the seconds turn into minutes and it feels like that our hands' liaison takes hours… First, I sense a little kindness in his move then he shoves my hand away.

"If you don't answer me, you can go and pack immediately! "

No, no… please! I don't have anywhere to go…

"I… I…am cold… " Finally, I'm able to pronounce some words…

"What? "

Now he is sitting and his eyes have become meek…

"I…I feel co… cold in the room. Where is th…the… he…heater? I am so…so…so..sorry…" I'm stammering. I can't believe that I caressed his face and he woke up! What a shame! What an embarrassment!

His gentle eyes are sparking in the moonlight… He is staring at me with a worried expression. My heart is beating in my throat. It struggles to escape from my body… like my heart is using sharp needles to excavate a hole in my gullet… please, stop looking at me! I'm enough abashed without his ceaseless glance!

"What is the time? "

"It's like 1 o'clock…"

"Maybe you should put on more clothes… if not, you can leave my house… "

Geez… what an ice cube! I will be an ice cube too if you don't turn on the heater!

He doesn't care… he just pats his pillow and places his head on it.

"Good night Hino…"

I don't bother to say good night to him. Grumpy man!

* * *

Where are my sweaters? Where is my winter coat? Oh there you are!

Great! I'm wearing three sweaters, my winter coat, hat, scarf and gloves. Incredible! This apartment is like a castle inside but he doesn't have heater? Yes he does. He is just too selfish… he decided on keep sleeping… I can't believe this.

Do I see right or my mind is making tricks? I can eye Tsukimori-kun's silhouette leans against my door… his hands are crossed over his chest. **Maybe he has come for his atonement**…

"You just broke some of my rules: the 4th, the 10th and the 11th points were broken by your little adventure to my room. "

**Maybe not…**

"I'm really sorry, Tsukimori-kun… I know… and I understand if you tell me to leave your house…"

"Let's say that this is your first night here and… this situation is an emergency. I also feel cold…"

Bastard! He will turn on the heater because he is freezing…

"Thanks! I appreciate your help! " I hope he figures out the irony in my voice…

* * *

It's 5:30… I didn't manage to sleep… First of all, it is always hard to sleep in a completely new place. Secondly, I was thinking of his rough treatment towards me… Moreover… I can't stop daydreaming of his angelical sleeping face… the touch of his skin and his hair… Stop it Kahoko!

Wake up! You can change his first expression of you! You can do better! He will forget about last night!

Yes, it is a good idea. The first expression is always very significant.

After a hot shower I decided to prepare breakfast. I still have time, he is in the bathroom.

Let's see what's in the fridge!

What! Hardly something! It's impossible. How will I prepare anything from this?

2 eggs

Like 1 cup of milk (probably expired by the sight of it)

Orange juice

Some slices of salami

Cheese (hopefully not rotten)

Butter

Does he have bread? Oh yes, Thank God, he has.

Great… I only can prepare some sandwiches… bread, butter, cheese and salami. I should go shopping after my classes.

* * *

"Good morning Tsukimori-kun! " Let's see how the day will start… Behave! Tsukimori-kun!

"Morning…" I assume that he got out of the bed on the wrong side…

He murmurs something then sits down at the dining table. "What's for breakfast? "

Darn it! _Did he need a maid or a roommate?_ It would have been easier for him to hire a maid…

"Your fridge is almost empty, so I didn't have many options… there you go. " I place the plate in front of him with a glass of orange juice.

"Thanks…"

"You are welcome."

"I usually eat outside… that's why the kitchen looks so new and void. "

His eyes are red and baggy…. He didn't sleep last night. Just like me. His complexion is pale…

"I have class very soon, I'm leaving now." He is so annoying… I wanted to chat before we leave the house but in this way it will be impossible to create a pleasant atmosphere with him…

* * *

"Ah, there you go… my first class is in room 202. How can I find it? This university is so big… "

"Good morning, may I help you? "

Wow… two young handsome men! Both have celadon hair… one has a livid tinge of green, while the other has vivid hue of green. They are smiling at me. How gorgeous! But I don't know them… maybe they are perverted…

"Good morning…" I seek really deep for a fake smile… Usually, I don't pretend smiling. But I'm aware of their anonymity.

"Hihara Kazuki! " His smiling expression urges me to smile him back.

"Tsuchiura Ryoutarou! What can I do for you? " A complete gentleman…

"I'm sorry, I'm searching for room 202…"

"What a coincidence! We are also going there! Music History with Mr. Schwartz! "

If I remember well his name is Hihara Kazuki. He is really cheerful and carefree. He leads the way to the room.

"This is the teacher's first class in this semester… I'm looking forward to his teaching method. After all, this is my only lecture in this term. " Tsuchiura Ryoutarou seems to be a calm and responsible person. He keeps his hands in his pockets and smiles occasionally.

We have arrived and gentlemanly, they open the door for me. Chivalry still exists!

As I look around… there are not many students… like 15… and… my mirth is over very quickly. Desperation and agony are marching through my head when I have a glimpse of a certain blue haired young man sitting at the first row.

And surprise is illuminating in my eyes when Hihara speeds to the direction of my roommate and fervently greets him. Watching Tsuchiura doesn't convince me that they are friends. The dark green haired man is trudging to the first row.

"Good morning Len! "

"Morning Kazuki…"

"So Len. Details! How is she? Did she move in? How is it going? I want to know everything! "

I can't force it back… I just snicker and step closer to them. Hihara is asking about me…. What a miracle… Tsukimori-kun has friend(s)…. I thought that he doesn't have any. With his attitude… the person must be brave enough to try to get closer to him.

He is staring at me. Tsukimori-kun is staring at me, AGAIN! Oh no… I'm flushed… I can bet that my face has the same color as my hair…

"Ah Len, she is a new student. We met her some minutes ago. Let me introduce… darn it, I don't even know her name…"

"She is Hino Kahoko. " Len answers in a calm manner.

"What? Do you know her? " Ryou's face is painted with several question marks. He is irked by the unknown knowledge of his classmate.

"I'm his roommate. " Yes I said it! Finally, I'm in the conversation. But the effect is more than I expected. The two green head are watching me… sternly… then both of them are giggling.

"What? You can't be serious! Tsukimori! You are a lucky man! " They sing in unison.

Why is he a lucky man? I don't understand Hihara's sentence.

"Hino, come here… " Ryou is calling for me. "Listen… you don't know what have you done… you chose the worst roommate ever… He is cold and stoic, just like a walking stone! He doesn't care anything else just music and violin… and on the top of that he is acting like a teenage girl who is always on period! " He is laughing again… really hard this time. Joyful tears abandon his eyes…

"Mind your own business… Tsuchiura!"

"Cold like always… Ice prince… "

"OK… that's enough… both of you. You are not going to fight here…" I try to calm them down. After all, it was just a joke… but I think it is hurting Tsukimori-kun… He is blushed and his eyes are frantic.

* * *

"Be quiet everyone! I'd like to start the class…"

The teacher is an old man… he has long beard and eyeglasses. Typical university professor.

"I'd like you to introduce yourself to me and to your classmates. Let me know the most important things of you. Mostly why did you take my class and what is your major. Let's start there. "

He is pointing to the right corner of the classroom.

I'm unable to remember everybody in the class… also names, faces and their majors… But I know that a girl plays the piano. She is called **Manami Mori**… **Ryou** is also a pianist. **Hihara** is playing the trumpet while I caught a glimpse of 4 other young men.

One has long mauve hair with a beautiful porcelain face. He plays the **flute** but his major is in business and marketing. I don't remember his name…

There is a sleeping boy who resembles an angel with his blonde hair. He is a **cellist**. Don't ask his name! I cannot recall.

Oh yes, **Kaji Aoi**… I know his name because he gave a very good impression… he is tall and handsome. His emerald eyes are sparkling against the dim light in the room. He has straw hair and he is playing the viola. He seems to be cheerful.

Ah, there is another grumpy guy… he looks kind of cool with his unique dark violet hair… I believe his name is **Etou**… Etou something… and he also plays the violin.

Let's see who else… oh… **Amou Nami**! She is studying to be a journalist. She didn't have enough credits so she took this class… She is the first odd one who doesn't have any connection with music.

And that timid girl… she is blushing anytime she has to talk… She plays the **clarinet**.

Of course, **Tsukimori-kun**… violinist… what a surprise after I've read his rules….

"I'm Hino Kahoko and I'm majored in the violin. "

Len is watching me, again… but this time his expression is skeptical...

Well, as I can see… I will make new friends from this group… God's zoo is diverse… Unfortunately, the fence is really low…

* * *

"Len, nice to see you here! " He is the guy with long syringa hair… He is extremely handsome!

"Azuma… what a surprise… "

"May you introduce me to your lovely girlfriend? " Girlfriend? Wait a minute!

"I'm not his girlfriend! I'm his roommate! " I correct as soon as possible. Don't mistake me with this icicle's girlfriend…

Azuma widens his eyes and an innocent smile creeps on his face.

"Please, Len. Teach me how to catch a beautiful roommate like Hino-san! "

He grabs my hand and heaves a light kiss on it. I'm sure… that I'm crimson red…

"Nice to meet you, Hino Kahoko! "

"I…It's my ple… pleasure! " Why my voice is faltering? Why am I abashed?

My university years have just started…. I should walk with opened eyes and I should perk up my ears… who knows what is hidden in the future…

* * *

Thanks for reading! It's well appreciated! Reviews are welcome!

I'm not sure how the university works in Japan or in Austria but I know how it works in the US and in Hungary. If your major is in History (just an example) you can still take classes from other departments like music or literature. It is your choice if you can handle your schedule or not. So that's why Amou-san was able to take classes from the Music Department. Hope it makes sense to you ;)

Sorry for the boring ending, but actually, I needed to present all of the characters in a way.

The next chapter will be available in two days ;) It's almost done ;) I'm enjoying myself writing this fic XD

* * *

**4everhere:** Thanks for the promise! I take it for granted :P It is well appreciated ;)

**ashinat crimson flames**: Don't worry I don't have problems with your text language. I understood all! I'm just happy for the review! Thanks a lot! Hope you will enjoy the continuation!

**Neko Meow**: My oh My :D My sweet supporter! Million thanks for reading my story and I'm sorry for the trouble you went through for reading! You have right and there is a girl… but actually, the first part of the story is a 'preface'. I know it is a little bit confusing. But, it will make sense. The role for using past tense in the preface is deliberate (maybe I will revise and change it to present... I don't know). It's like he is thinking back before we are led back to present. It will actually happen in the upcoming chapters. It would seem to me that the entire story is flashback in present tense and soon enough we will reach that point which is written in the preface. I hope I'm not that confusing and it makes sense LOL Sorry for that!

Ah… I know… I'm really horrible. Starting too many fanfics at the same time but I just can't help myself :$ I have too much in mind and I long for writing my stories at the same time. I will update very soon the 'Epitome of a happy marriage' probably at the weekend.

By the way, look who is talking :D When will you update your future fics? I'm looking forward to them!

**Edogawa Ai-chan****, ****EmInA-Angelique****, ****fiasco-freak****, animearchitect****, ****vbrydwyn****, ****aisacchan****, ****gizelle-chan****, ****Amulet Crimson****, yasnky** : Thanks for the reviews! They made my day :D I was really happy to read them! Hopefully you will keep reading my story! I try my best ;)


	3. Accidents happen

**Roommates**

**Chapter 3: Accidents happen**

* * *

5:32 pm… she is not at home…

Where.

Is.

She?

Like If I mind… she is an adult and I'm not her father. And it's only half past five…

I'm hungry, if I knew that she is not coming home early, I should have gone to eat something outside.

6:23 pm

Where.

Is.

She?

It's getting late. Why does it annoy me that she is not here? She is only my roommate. We are individuals and I will never intrude upon her privacy.

She is so… weird… and puerile. Her whole body and soul imbibed chastity and straightforwardness. I'm sure she was scared last night… after all I was half-asleep. I sensed how she covered me with the blanket. She was so cautious and caring. Hino doesn't even know me and she felt responsibility. Her touch was like an electric shock… like a swarm of bees was lightly stinging my skin. It was hot, soft and… ? What was that sensation? Her fingers sent shivers through my whole body… started from my face, down on my neck… meandered on my throat then stung my chest so hardly… breathing was almost impossible… but the worst part was the floating butterflies in my stomach and the heat in my veins.

**Ding-dong…**

And why does the fact disturb me that Hino didn't defend me against Tsuchiura's statements? He pesters me even he is not around…

**Ding-dong…**

Oh the door! She has arrived.

"I thought that you didn't want to let me in. " She smiles with a complaining face… what a paradox…

"Sorry. I didn't hear the doorbell. "

She went shopping. She was carrying like five huge and heavy bags. Now she believes that I'm a jerk. But she didn't call me to go and help her. So, it is not my fault.

"I know, I'm late. You must be really hungry. "

I nod…

Should I ask where she was… what did she do… with who she was? Bah… why do I care? She doesn't need to share with me her… private life. Probably she was with that blonde woman… the journalist. She approached Hino after our last class… then I discovered Kazuki and that pianist to run after them… So she had a great company. Amazing how she made new friends so easily. I would need years to achieve the same… of course, If I want… I'm satisfied with my life and I don't need anyone else in it!

"Kazuki told me that you like sugar-free yoghurt. I bought some! "

Did I hear well? She said: Kazuki! After less than a day she is calling him by his given name… what a record. Whatever… I must mind my own business.

She did a monthly shop… I've never seen this mass of grocery in my kitchen.

"Thanks for the yoghurt. Hino, let me pay the half of the groceries. "

"No need for that, Tsukimori-kun. Oh and take this money. I'm really bad at managing money so it's safer with you. Just let me know if it's over and I give you more. "

She winks and places five thousand euro on my palm. Where the heck did she get this much money?

"Why? "

"Because I would spend it or lose it. So, please. Take care of it. "

I see clearly: she is not reliable. Who would spend or lose money… this is unexpected. Or maybe not, she is just like a big child…

And my assumption was correct. She was with Kazuki and probably with that annoying…

* * *

"Do you like sweets, Tsukimori-kun? "

"No, I don't…"

"What a waste… haha… just kidding. It means it's more for me. "

She stomps with her feet and jumps up a little. What? She has an entire cheesecake? How will she consume all of it? Don't even mention the calories…

"I feel like helping you with that cake, but… just after dinner. "

If this will go on, I should change my daily schedule and visit the swimming pool more frequently. With the best benevolence I cannot protect my body against sugar if she remains my roommate.

* * *

The dinner is delicious. She prepared a fresh salad with baked chicken. Until now, we are eating in silence. I have a feeling of frustration… anyway, I got used to eat alone… in complete silence. It is really odd having someone sitting in front of me and dining together.

"Do you like the food? " Thank you God! She has broken this awkward atmosphere.

"It's delicious. " I forgot to compliment the chef…

"It's delicious." She remarks the same sentence with the same tone… Is she mocking me?

"So… Tsukimori-kun… tell me about yourself… " She has sparkles around her… Her palms are crossed and placed under her chin. She is patiently waiting for my answer.

"What do you want to know… "

"Hmmm… let's see… why don't you want to smile? "

"Thanks for the dinner, I'm going to take a shower. "

"Bleah… don't run away, Tsukimori-kun! "

She is running after me… and grabs my shirt. Hino is standing on her tiptoes and she is glaring at my eyes. Her hands are on my shoulders. What is she doing? I try to avert my face but she blocks me with her hands.

"Look at me, Tsukimori-kun! "

"Leave me… alone…please… "

"No… this cold attitude of yours is killing me. Just be a little polite with me… "

"You accepted to be my roommate. If you don't like it, you have the freedom to leave. I'm not going to stop you. "

"See…this again… I heard that those people who smile they live longer… Smiling is healthy. I don't ask you to laugh but just a little smile won't hurt… pretty please! "

Why does she have to torture me with this topic? "This is me! Take it or leave it! " Did I say it out loud…? Looking at her expression, yes… I did…

I sense her pulse through her palms on my cheeks. Then without warning, she casts aside my face.

"That's OK… I rushed it… I'm sorry. It's enough if we just start calling each other by given names. What do you think of the idea? " Incredible, she still has the spirit to grin. After my hurting words… she is amazing.

"I can agree to that… "

She is fiddling with her fingers… scrutinizing the white carpet under our feet.

Out of the blue, she scares me with a bold movement again. She jumps and hugs me… Her arms are wrapped around my neck… should I hug her back? Without rethinking my acts, I place my hands on her tiny back… this feels so… pleasant… I also hear the buzzing bees in my throat and stomach… but I have a feeling that this will be an everyday sensation…

"Thank you, Len! " She whispers against my shirt.

* * *

She is the only person who could make me exasperated then suddenly calm me down. Her little nerve-wrecking questions drive me crazy… then her smile… those lips… those sparkles in her bullion orbs… I'm not able to comprehend… yet… but wait a minute… do I want to understand her?

The heat of her body was hotter than this shower…. I wonder if she placed all of her stuff in the cabinets. It's more comfortable for her having those things near…

Ah… I left my pajamas in my room…

I open the door then close it… I get my pajamas and go back to the bathroom. I still have to shave…

What is this noise?

Is it a scream?

Why do I hear it so close to my ear?

…

Why.

Is.

Kahoko.

In the bathroom?

And why… is she…

ON ME… ?

and why do I have a DULL PAIN in my HEAD?

She is blushing… furiously… her face has a crimson color. Probably, I'm in the same state… Am I angry? No… not really… OF COURSE I AM! Why does she have to break all of my rules within 1 day?

She is scared… and embarrassed. I'm not surprised. I feel the same.

"Len… I'm so sorry… I thought… "

"Just stand up… You are heavy… and we didn't even eat the cake… "

This is a predicament. She puckers up her lips and tears well up in her eyes…

Splendid…

Officially… Hino Kahoko is the first girl who I made cry. Congratulations Len!

"You are mean! " She whimpers and continues. "And I'm sorry but I can't stand up because the floor is slippery! You made a pool of the bathroom! "

Tentatively, I look around and explore the surroundings. She has right. But it is still not an explanation why did she come in…

"Why did you come in if you knew I was here? "

"Because I heard that you came out… I swear I heard the door… "

She is sobbing…

"OK, I believe this is not the proper… po… position to discuss this… I recommend that I sit up with you and slowly, you lean on your knees. "

She nods between some whines.

This is working… you are doing great Tsukimori Len. She is not that heavy and your hands are not slippery… Don't even think of her body… how she has become your personal blanket… her petite figure and how her chest is pressing against yours… these are not important right now… you are an ice cube and don't change your expression. Ah, one more thing… don't think of… what? Where is the white towel which was wrapped around my waist not long time ago?

Len… don't panic! It's just a towel…

But… but… it's not on me!

Len… calm down… look to the right!

It is there… it's lying on the floor… so proudly… like nothing has happened. Darn it… Now I understand why I sense her body so close…

"Len, why are you blushing? "

Am I blushing? Please God, I plead for mercy, I, the Ice Prince, Tsukimori Len. I don't need anything else right now… just let me keep my calm and cold attitude. She is just a roommate and after this incident I will recommend her to leave my house. It was also my mistake but she is at fault, too.

I bet that this is the time when she discovered… that I don't have anything on me…

Yes, she screams…

Yes… she stands up… I mean struggles to stand up….

Oh no… she falls… but she doesn't give up that easily. She continues her strife with the wet floor.

Oh… finally, she approaches the doorknob and with strawberry hue on her pretty cheeks, she leaves the bathroom.

Hopefully, she ran to pack…

Nice one, Len…

I'm still lying on the floor… hesitating to stand up and look for her…

Why?

Am I too embarrassed?

Am I… too scary?

Did… I… disgust her?

Am I annoying?

In half a tick I know the answer… All… I'm too abashed, I'm too scary and annoying and probably I disgusted her…

I feasted my eyes on her fugitive shadow… and she was still crying… I must go and apologize before she leaves.

I change to my pajamas and gingerly peek out… she is nowhere in sight.

Has she left already? I doubt that 5 minutes would be enough for her to pack and leave.

I check the kitchen.

Nope, she is not there.

I knock on her door.

No answer and I open it. She is not there, either.

I walk to the living room when I can hear sobs from the corner of the sofa…

There she is!

The strawberry haired girl is sitting on the floor and …. eating the cheesecake with desperate teardrops.

What may I do? …. Nope… What should I do or what must I do? I really don't have any experience in these situations.

I just sit next to her and grab a piece of cheesecake.

It's sweet… it's too sweet for my taste… and I would be such a coward if tell her to leave now…

* * *

Thanks for reading! It is well appreciated!

I know that this situation is classic but I just couldn't resist to write my own version of it. Sorry if you don't like it :)

I was so happy for the reviews! Million thanks for those who are reading my story and for those who left reviews!

**If you can see, I'm changing the POVs in every chapter. For me it makes more sense that one chapter is Kahoko's POV while the next one is in Len's POV. Tell me if you don't like the idea!**

* * *

To **Jiyu22:** Thanks for the review and I will correct those words that you discovered ;) I'm happy to please my readers and actually I accept my mistakes!

To **Neko Meow:** Thanks a lot for your support! I appreciate a lot! I know I tell you this all the time, but I'm sincere! Yes, she should have knocked. But for my logic, if she feels extremely cold and she just has reached his door… shaking body and soul… If I were here, I would have forgotten to knock on the door haha Really! Actually, Len's place is a lovely apartment but he is not concerned with the rain outside and didn't pay attention on the decreasing temperature. That's why it's cold inside :P Of course, Etou… I like him a lot and I would never leave him out :) About the preface, I'm going to change the tense into present as well… I feel kind of confused with it and I don't want problems :P

Yeah I know the feeling, irresistible to write something new. Keep updating girl!

To **Amulet Crimson:** Thanks for the review! I was thinking of putting the bodyguard… but I don't know yet how to mingle them into my logic and story line. Thanks for mentioning!

To **Edogawa Ai-chan**: Thanks a lot for your support! I will try to update my other stories as soon as possible. The only problem is that I'm facing an event right now (I'm moving to another state) and I don't know when I will have quality time to write :(

To **yasnky**: I'm sorry for the little confusion at the beginning of both chapters. It will make sense at the end of the story –Pinky promise! But, I'm going to change the tense to present, and it will be less confusing in this way. Thanks for your review! It means a lot to me!

To **4everhere**: Thanks for the support! Hopefully, I'm not going to disappoint you! I will do my best!

To **ashinat crimson flames**: Thank you so much for the review! Development will occur soon enough! Be patient! Len is hard like a stone :P So he will need more time :P

To **Moonlight Nocturne:** Thanks for the review and the information about the university system! I've got to know something new now and I'm really happy!

* * *

Hey guys if you want me to answer for your reviews in PM just let me know. I don't know which is more appropriate… answer after the update or in PM… I really don't mind, I just don't want to hurt anyone! :(

* * *

**Next issue: **No one is born without faults.


	4. No one is born without faults

**Roommates**

**Chapter 4: No one is born without faults**

* * *

I'm silent despite of the facts that my mind is packed with the diversity of thoughts. It feels like bustling wasps in my head… and I don't have any idea how to sweep them out. Words without meanings are passing by and leaving unknown sensations behind. For example: cheesecake, tears, misunderstanding, heavy, towel… naked… What? Naked? I gulp and try to practice exhaling and inhaling until the process is perfect. Somehow I'm unable to reach perfection in this simple task and I keep shocking in my tears.

Why did he sit next to me?

Should I say something?

Silence…

If I continue apologizing… but why would I do that? It's his fault that I've **almost **seen his… his…never mind! I struggle to hide that memory.

And he said that I was heavy! I don't even weight 45 kg (approx. 99 pounds)! I'm not fat!

He doesn't even look at me… just nibbling the cake. Didn't he say that he doesn't like sweets? Whatever! I don't mind sharing if he lets me to stay in his house.

I grab the last piece of the cake and divide it into halves. One piece is for him, and the other one is for me. Sharing makes me happy!

"There you go! " And I hand over the half of the last piece of the cheesecake.

"Thanks." His voice is still the usual cold but he accepted the cake.

* * *

I urge back to my room before he starts complaining about something… Running away is not an appropriate solution. But it's still better than discussing unimportant issues like 'Whose fault was it'… And he didn't even try to calm me down or give me comfort.

I turn to my left.

Bah… the picture of the bathroom situation glitters in my mind.

I turn to my right.

"You are heavy! " Grrrr…. I gnash my teeth. There is no room in my mind for unreasonable statements like this!

After all, this is my second sleepless night in his house. I'm so exhausted and I will feel worse when I wake up.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Speak of the devil…

I should prepare his breakfast again. I don't intend to lick his boots but… How did he say? 'This is me, take it or leave? ' Something like this. Well, I can repeat the same. This nice person is me, take it or leave it!

I mixed yogurt with coconut milk and cut some kiwi and banana in it. It is always great to start the day with some fruits. Then I prepared scrambled eggs with sausage and cheese. Everything is on the dining table with fresh orange juice. I hope he will like the breakfast.

I can hear his quiet stamps on the wood floor. He is getting closer and closer to the kitchen.

Why am I nervous? This is just a breakfast… together… with my roommate… there is no reason to be worried about a simple fact like a breakfast. Don't think of last night… don't think of the abandoned, white towel on the right side….

What?

No white towels.

No bathroom…

Forget them, Kahoko!

Am I blushing? Hope not…

"Good morning Len! "

"Morning… Hino…" Hmmm… he doesn't call me by my given name. This is a bad sign.

"Breakfast is ready. " It's hard to act so cheerful. I wish I could share my emotions with him and find understanding in his eyes.

"I'm not hungry, I'm leaving now. **I'd like you to leave my house after your classes.** "

With these words, he turns his back on me and escapes through the doors. I can hear the echo of his footsteps in the stairway.

* * *

The buzzing wasps are welcomed in my head again but now new words are running through my mind: disappointment and sadness… maybe… tears… yes tears again.

I'm crying. Why?

Let's seek for the answer… what is the reason of my lament?

Well… He acted all mighty. And he refused the breakfast. Maybe he thought that I want my revenge and I put laxative in his food… I wish I could do it…

The other reason is simple: he said that I should leave his house.

Where will I go? This is the only question what is shining in my black out.

* * *

The whole day will be a disaster. I have the same classes with Len because we are both on the same major, besides P.E. classes and language. The rest are together. Just splendid!

It will be an ordeal for me to live through the day.

"Kaho-chan! " Kazuki sure has energy early in the morning. The first class is Music History.

"Good morning, Kazuki! " Where is my unique smile? Where is it? Seek deeper Kahoko, come on!

"What's wrong Kahoko? " Just great! Ryou has arrived and as I can see, he's discovered my sadness with one look.

"Nothing is wrong… " Just try that forced smile harder!

"Come on. You can tell us! " They wink. Well, why not… at least I can talk to them… but not the details.

"Tsukimori-kun wants me to leave his house after my classes. " I say the words with a tear in my eyes.

"What happened? " They complain together.

"Nothing serious… just… something happened. And… it would be hard to look into each others' eyes after this incident. " Hope glistens in my eyes that they are not going to ask details.

"Kaho-chan! I'm really sorry to hear this. I've never thought that Len has an evil and pushy side. Maybe I was too naïve and I didn't know my friend well enough. After all, he is a man. If you want, I can go and buy that thing for you in the pharmacy and if it's necessary I can go with you to a doctor… "

"That Tsukimori! " If Ryou could kill with a glance…

Wait a minute! What are they mumbling about? Pharmacy… doctor… Len's evil side…Oh NOOOOO What a misunderstanding!

"Kazuki, NOOOO! It's not that! Nothing like that happened! " Thank God that I could correct!

"Oh really? What a relief! " They have a half smile after a relieved sigh.

"Anyway… I was thinking of… can I live with you guys for some days until I find another place? "

"Kahoko! It would be great! I'm afraid that it's impossible. We have one room with two small beds…. But we can help you to find another place! " Ryou looks sad but he doesn't give up helping me.

"Excuse me! May I help you? " WOW, the blonde prince on white horse! It's Kaji Aoi and that Etou guy… "I live in a mansion with my cousin, Etou Kiriya. Until you find another place, we would love to give you a room! "

"Oh really? Thanks a lot! You saved me! " They just happened to be here and they must have heard the whole conversation between me and the two green haired men. I don't know them, but they are my classmates. I don't have any other solution, so… I must accept it.

"This is the address! We'll wait for you after 6 pm today! " He winks then they leave. Etou didn't look so enthusiastic…

* * *

The Music History class is so boring and slow. But Len and Ryou are sitting in front of me. Ryou is writing something on a piece of paper and pushing it to Len. What are they doing? I'm lucky that I can read it from this distance.

DO YOU LIKE KAHOKO?

YES

NO

The answer from Len: I DON'T ANSWER FOR STUPID QUESTIONS. LET ME LISTEN TO THE CLASS!

Ryou: Just think of it! Someone will steal her if you don't keep her in your house! You will never find a roommate like Kahoko!

Len: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! I DON'T NEED YOUR ADVICE!

Ryou: I warned you! Later on you would….

"Gentlemen! I believe that we are at the university and not in high school! Can I get that paper? " The professor approaches them and snatches up the white paper. When he leaves, I can hear Len's silent complain to Ryou: "Thanks for the trouble… Football freak! "

I wish I could see Len's reply for Ryou's question… but it's obvious, he doesn't like me. His only desire is being alone in his apartment. Without me in it…

* * *

I'm on the practice class. Kaji-kun and Etou-kun are also here… of course Len, too… I can't avoid him and my P.E. and language classes are almost at the end of the day… until that I have to deal with him… His cold attitude and stern expression drive me crazy. He doesn't even look at me…

"May I call you Kahoko? " Kaji-kun's fervent smile snaps me back to reality. And I realize that there are still people on earth who can smile whole-heartedly.

"Of course. " Now I can return the moves with my lips. A smile won't hurt! But I can sense that Len is watching us from the corner of his eyes. I'm not entirely sure, but I have the feeling.

"Kahoko, you can call me Aoi! When can we expect you to arrive? " Etou is sitting silently next to us. He shares some attitudes with Len. Antisocial and cold…

"My last class ends at 4 pm, I head back and pack… So my best guess is after 6 pm. "

"That's just great! " He is really nice and kind. A warm hearted man is really rare nowadays.

"Silence! " The professor has arrived. He is acting so bossy. "OK, until I do my paperwork, someone will play Pachebel's Canon in D Major. Who will be my fist victim… Let's see… YOU! With that long crimson hair…. Your name is? "

Is he talking to me? Rude teacher… "I'm Hino Kahoko. "

"Hino Kahoko, please play for us! "

I can't refuse, can I? Thank God that I know this piece by heart.

I place my violin under my chin. I correct my posture and start the song. All the music notes are flying in my head and my hands skillfully follow the perfect pattern of the melody. It's a wonderful song. It is lovely and cheerful, yet it sounds so sorrowful. It expresses my actual sadness… I have to get rid of this! This song is happy! I should think of Ryou and Kazuki, how they are helpful and nice to me. Then remember on Kaji-kun… his grinning lips and warm eyes. He saved me! And think of _Len… how he blushed in the bathroom… how he ate the cake with me…. How he accepted to call each other by given names. Sure he has some good features and kindness in his heart. He is not just an icicle… _

Without noticing, the lament melody has become happy and the notes are dancing around in the tranquil room.

When I finish, I can feel everyone's eyes are on me….then they are clapping.

Hey, it was not that good! It was a simple music. It was followed by the music sheet, notes after notes… nothing special.

"It was really amazing, Kahoko! " Aoi's meek smile gives me a little confidence. _Somehow, I desired to receive acknowledgement from someone else… _

"Thank you, Hino Kahoko. It was really enjoyable! Let's continue our class. "

* * *

Finally, the classes with Len are over! I'm late to P.E. I should run.

I took yoga as P.E. I know that Len is on swimming. Kazuki is on basketball with Aoi. Ryou is on football. Etou-kun… maybe if I heard well, he is also on swimming. Amou-san and Fuyuumi-chan are on dancing. That must be fun.

"Hello, I'm Mio Takato! "

"Hi, I'm Nao Kobayashi! Nice to meet you! "

"Hi girls, I'm Hino Kahoko! Nice to meet you, too! "

"So we will have yoga classes together! " Mio is jumping on her feet and grinning with her petite lips. They look friendly. I'm happy to make new friends.

* * *

Yoga was reassuring and refreshing. But now… I should go 'home' and start packing. I hope he is not at home. After all, I have keys…. Yesterday I was so packed with the bags that I was unable to open the door. Now I don't have this problem so if he was smart, he had already left the house and doesn't watch me leaving.

I was wrong. The door is locked and the key is inside. Why did he leave the key in the door?

Ding dong…

He opens the door and lets me in. He doesn't even say hi…

"Hi, Tsukimori-kun! "

He only nods.

OK… It's wiser not to talk now. I just speed up my footsteps and quickly pack my clothes and books in a huge luggage. I also have things in the bathroom but they are not that important. I want to avoid going inside the bathroom…

I'm done. I place my feet after each other… in a slow pace… and I'm starring at his straight posture as he is leaning against the wall. His arms are crossed over his chest. He is glaring at me.

I push down the doorknob and struggle to force a smile on my face.

"Thanks for everything. Tsukimori-kun! See you on classes! " I intended to say something more. Like… _No one is born without faults… and you shouldn't be this strict with others…_ but I would have regretted if I said these words to him.

He doesn't say anything! Does he let me leave without a word? Maybe I was wrong again. There is no kindness in his heart!

My left foot steps over the threshold when he grabs my free hand. What is he doing? Is this the way how he expresses his good bye or…?

I look back at him and his eyes are trembling. His lips draw a tiny O… then he glues them together. Maybe he wanted to say something, but quickly changed his mind.

Should I wait more? Should I shake off his hand? I don't dare… and he has a depressed expression. This is an expression that I've never seen on his face until now.

I lift up my foot for a minuscule step forward when he tightens his grip on my hand.

Then he says a word, which I find strange. But I'm mesmerized how it lights the flame in my heart….

"**Stay**! " He pronounces these letters together. It is scarcely audible, but my ears didn't miss to hear the tiny word which means everything to me…

* * *

Million thanks for reading! Thanks a lot for those who are reading my story and also leave reviews! They make me so happy! I appreciate a lot!

I will answer for the reviews in PM ;)

Sorry if you didn't like this chapter! Let me know!

**What do you think... why did Len change his mind? :P**

* * *

I also corrected some words in the previous chapters and I changed the preface in the 1st and 2nd chapters from past tense to present. Maybe now it's less confusing!

* * *

The next chapter will be a side story! I will write some side stories which don't bother the original storyline but they will be really important in the progress of their relationship!

* * *

Next chapter: Laundry time :D


	5. Laundry time

**Roommates**

**Chapter 5: Laundry time**

* * *

The night was so long… and I didn't manage to sleep… I felt like running after an airplane and I never reached it. Then that voice… who was singing? Was it Kahoko?

First, I clearly heard a humming noise which had turned into a lovely song with a unique lyric. How was it?

_'Don't think twice before you listen to your heart,_

_Follow the trace for a new start._

_What you need and everything you'll feel_

_Is just the question of the deal…' _

I don't remember on the rest of the song… but it's really strange. Why did I hear it? Did my mind play with me? It must have been a figment.

I walk to the kitchen. My grumbling stomach is restless. I didn't eat breakfast yesterday. I had some crackers for lunch and no dinner. After I told to Kahoko to stay, she started crying and fell asleep. I didn't have the heart to wake her up…

I hope she prepared the same breakfast like yesterday. I was crazy to taste that yogurt shake and fruits. It looked so delicious. After all, _I'm still a simple guy with simple needs._

"Good morning, Tsukimori-kun! "

The unique smile's moved back to her face and festooned her lips with it. She is brighter than the morning sun. It reminds me of her Canon… first it sounded like she was bewailing something. The timbre of the notes was crying on the violin's strings. The night firmament was full with her lament. Then unexpectedly, the mood of the song had changed drastically and it turned into a blissful and prosperous tune. I've never heard something like that before. Her music was honest and passionate… _the adjectives that I've never reached in perfectness…_

I've never known that a song could hypnotize but I sensed that it was like a drug… I was bemused and I longed for more and more… but she finished. She could have charmed the moon from the sky with that melody.

"Are you all right, Tsukimori-kun? " Why does she ask me if I'm all right? Well, maybe she is glaring at my red and baggy eyes: The result of my vigil.

"Morning Kahoko. " I've just said her name… why did I do that? If my reminiscence is correct, she asked me for calling each other by given names. But after the unpleasant situations, she stopped calling me Len.

My glimpse is resting on her glistening face. Kahoko over shines the sun. She must be happy hearing her name from my mouth. Frankly, I'm also surprised but I can't understand why I called her Kahoko.

I'm patient and waiting for her reaction. She would jump on me and hug me… this is the least I expect from her.

But I'm pleasantly disappointed because she doesn't do anything besides softly snickers.

"Here is your breakfast! "

It's the yesterday yogurt and this time tortilla. And it's really delicious. What did she put in it? It tastes like coconut and vanilla yogurt. She cut some kiwis and bananas in it. It's refreshing and healthy. The tortilla is also good. She knows how to cook… I'm glad for this fact.

It must be a good decision that I didn't let her go. Tsuchiura's inquiry didn't affect me much. I also heard that _blonde candy boy_ asking her to live in their mansion… I can't comprehend why it bothered me. Never mind. Then on the practice class… she looked extremely sad and that Canon…

I just kept thinking of the last two days. The unpleasant situations and how she broke many of my rules within a short period. But I can't be this strict with her. She marched into my room at the middle of the night and she was freezing. It's understandable. Mmmmm… the bathroom situation… it was a mere accident. I can't blame either myself or Kahoko. So these are not strong reasons to kick her out. I must be reasonable!

* * *

My desire was a tranquil morning practice but someone ruined my plans. I position my violin under my chin and have almost started a song when my cell phone rings.

"What do you want, Tsuchiura? " I'm asking in an angry tone after I picked up my cell phone.

"Not much, ice cube! Just saying good morning to my favorite violinist… " I can hear irony in his voice. What does he want?

"I don't have time for this! "

"Of course you don't… so why did you change your mind? You do like her, don't you? " I can't stand his teasing voice…

"None of your business! " Come on, stop pestering me!

"Well… I hope that you will treat her like a queen from now on… I don't want to hear something bad about you! "

"Have you finished? I want to practice! Did you have enough torturing me? " Why did I admit that he annoys me?

"Yes, I think it's enough for today. Have fun cleaning! " He hangs up.

What cleaning? I'm practicing…

* * *

Kahoko is also busy… I can hear her cell phone is ringing in every five minute.

"Hi! Aoi. Sorry… but we will make it up, OK? "

This was the first conversation that I had to witness… she struggled to explain the situation that she will stay in my house and she won't move in the mansion. Somehow I felt pleased by her singing voice.

Then Kazuki called her asking about me and how I treat her… then the pianist… why everyone is against me?

I try to give all my attention to my violin when she knocks on my door.

* * *

"Len, we should talk. " Why is she so mysterious?

"Come in. "

"Ah… sorry, you were practicing. But I wanted to ask what you will do tomorrow…"

"I will practice. Maybe go to the swimming pool… " I don't plan on anything else.

"Well… Kazuki and Ryou are arranging a little party… we'll go bowling and playing squash. " Her eyes are pleading.

"I'm not going! " Why would I go? I don't intend to give more chance to that green haired monster to make me angry…

"Len… please…. It won't hurt! Just think about it during you collect your dirty clothes! We will do laundry! " She winks and escapes from my room.

LAUNDRY?

I moved in like a month ago and I didn't clean or do laundry… this will be the very first time. What a shame! Well, I didn't need this kind of boring and tiring activity. I had plenty of clothes and I cleaned my own room…

* * *

We are going downstairs…none of us start a conversation. There is a laundry not so far from the apartment. We just need to cross the street.

"Len! You stay here! I forgot something! " And she runs… I'm glad that she turned on the machines. I don't have any clue how to treat these washing machines…

Where did she go?... leaving me behind… whatever! I guess I just have to watch the machines. Hopefully, she will come back when we put the clothes to the dryer.

So boring…

I want to practice my violin.

Where is she…

Why would I want to know where she went…

"Sorry! But I forgot about the lunch. So I'm preparing right now. I'll have to go back soon. " She is panting. She ran. She didn't have to…

"That's ok… I'm getting hungry. " See… still the same simple guy… lately I'm thinking more of my stomach than before.

* * *

Everything is done. I took out my clothes from the dryer and waiting for her. I'm not going to touch her clothes.

Should I call her?

I'm touching my pockets and they are empty… just great. How much does she want me to wait? I can't leave her clothes here…

I don't have any other choice… I will close my eyes and put her clothes into the bag.

Let's see… I open the dryer and I open the bag with my other hand. I shut my eyes and with a movement, I try to take out all of her clothes and put them into the bag.

Done! It was not so bad.

But wait… why is something on the floor?

I pick up a lacy material… which was unknown for my eyes until now… and yes… that is a black bra!

I feel the rushing blood in my face… I feel so hot!

"Len… what are you doing with my…" Oh no, she came at the worst moment! "You are a pervert! " She screams! Thank God that there is nobody besides us! "Pervert! " She repeats the unpleasant word again.

Keeping the records with her… Kahoko is the first girl who I made cry and now, she is the first one who called me pervert…

Why can't I put it down? Why do I keep holding her b…. br….bra…?

I'm waiting for the slap but it never happened.

She snatches the lacy material from my hand and stuffs it into the bag.

"Let's go. Food is ready. " She looks flummoxed and she purses her lips up. She is packing up her feet on the stairs with dignity and sometimes I catch her mesmerized glance… she is like a child, but this is nothing new for me…

The lunch is vegetable soup with chicken wings and noodles. It tastes so good and it's hot. The weather is so ugly: windy and rainy. It's a little bit foggy, too. This food is just perfect against the cold weather.

Why do I think of food lately? I'm not like Kazuki! But frankly, _I don't even remember the day when I ate home cooked food… _

* * *

After lunch I went back to my room and rest with a book. It's just started to be interesting when she knocks on my door again. If this will go on, I won't have private life at the weekends!

"May I come in? " She asks with a timid smile.

"You are already in…" That was rude, but I should express my feelings that her intrusion is not welcomed.

"I want to punish you. You saw… you saw my private clothes and I just cannot forgive you that easily. There you go. " She hands over a piece of paper.

"What's this?" I'm peering at the white paper with innocent eyes.

"Isn't it obvious?" She grins then continues: " Well, if you are done reading it, report to the kitchen because we'll divide the housework! " She spins around her heel and leaves the room with a guffaw.

I'm standing in my room, rooted… I lift up the paper and try to read her handwriting.

* * *

**Hino Kahoko's rules**

1. Smile one time daily (forced smile is not granted!)

2. Try to smile more times daily

3. Say 'thank you' more frequently

4. Smile when you say 'thank you'

5. Apologize if you've done something wrong! (with a warm smile it has more effect ;)

6. Put a hanging board in the bathroom's doorknob: Occupied!

7. Let me know if you have special request for breakfast, lunch or dinner!

8. Play a duet with me daily

Is she crazy? Almost all of the rules are about smiling.

"Kahoko! These rules are unreasonable! This is my house and I set the rules! I'm not going to follow these points! "

"Please… Len…. This is your punishment! And they are not hard! Did I write something hard to accomplish? " She is smiling and coming closer to me. Her hands are behind her back.

I shrug my shoulders and place the paper on the dining table.

"There you go! " She startles me with two unknown objects…. "You'll mop the kitchen and the bathroom! " She gives me a mop and a pail! She's gone crazy. I'm sure!

"Kaho… I've never mopped in my life… and I'm not planning on… "

"Well you must. First of all, this is your real punishment for the laundry incident. Secondly, we should share the housework! I'm not your maid but I'm willing to help you to clean the rest of the house -not just my room. So, I've already swept the floor in the kitchen and in the bathroom. Now I will go vacuum-cleaning and clean the bathtubs. Later on, I'll dust the shelves. The only things you should do are: mop and do the trash. Fair enough! " She giggles and leaves me alone with the pail and the mop!

What should I do with these things?

She cornered me…

I guess I should put water and soap to the pail… that's how I suppose to do… right?

After more than one hour I felt that I'm done… My socks are wet and cold… my fingers are freezing and the big garbage collector outside stinks so badly.

* * *

She is looking at me with a content smile. She must be satisfied with my helping. I've never done something like this before.

"Are you going to thank me? " I'm asking with a cold tone.

"No… because see what you've done… the floor is floating in water. Did you twist the water out of the mop? " Is she complaining?

"No… " What a curt answer.. But what else should I say? "You should be more grateful. My hands are like ice cubes from the cold water and my socks are wet… the trash was stinky…"

"Len, stop complaining. " She giggles… then continues: "Did I say that you must use cold water for moping? It was your choice. And your socks are wet because you didn't twist out all of the water and you didn't wear slippers. Besides these tiny facts, I'm grateful! Thanks for your help! You saved time for me! _But sure, you are not a simple guy with simple needs! "_

What? Am I not? Why am I complicated? Whatever… I want to take a hot shower then finally, practice my violin!

So this is what the pianist meant for 'have fun with cleaning'…

* * *

After the shower and some hours of practice I decided to go to sleep. I'm exhausted. So many things happened today.

I go to the bathroom and start shaving when she peeks into the room.

"You didn't put the sign: Occupied. " She is puzzled but as she could see I'm just shaving and probably brush my teeth later on… she is saved to come in.

"I'm just shaving… " I'm calm now… but why did she come in?

"I don't know what you are shaving… maybe your 5 o'clock shadow? " She smirks and twiddles her fingers around her long strawberry locks. Did she mean that I'm not enough manly?

"I shave every day. That's why you don't see me bristly. Auuuuuuu… " I've just cut myself…

I was perusing her petite figure from the mirror… she is so skinny. I was a jerk to say that she is heavy. She is wearing a knee long, black sleeping dress with long sleeves. The dress is decorated with yellow moon and star shapes. I can bet that they are fluorescent.

"Ah, wait there! " She comes back with a band aid and with a handkerchief. She's pressing the handkerchief on the cut.

"I think it's stopped bleeding now. " She removes it and places the band aid on the wound. "It's just a minor cut, don't worry. It will heal soon! " She smiles and gently caresses my face with her index finger. Then an unexpected move takes place as she's standing on her tiptoes and heaves a kiss on the band aid. "Next time, be more careful! Can we play together before sleeping? " She grins again and runs to the room to grab her violin.

I'm still standing in front of the bathroom mirror… frozen in my posture and blinking… did she give a kiss on my cheek? I catch myself touching the band aid with my fingers…The heat is unbearable in my body…

My razor is still in my hand and the half of my face is in the shaving gel… I should wash my face… and calm down…

"Len! It's almost curfew! It's 9:49 pm! Hurry up or you'll break your own rule! " She is giggling and vivaciously dancing in the living room. Why do I know where is she? Because the wood strip floor makes a wailing noise as she is jumping on it. There is strip floor only in the living room.

"Any request? " I place the violin in my arms and waiting for her reply…

"Anything goes… " A fervent smile draws a line between her ears and somehow… An inward smile mentally creeps on my face as I keep looking incessantly at her pinky complexion.

"You've just smiled! " She is jumping on two feet and snickers. Did I really smile? I thought that I'm smiling in my mind… never knew that the imaginary smile became a real act… "See, you're following my rules! " She snuggles her violin with a vehement movement.

The dim light in the living room lets me to see the sparkling shapes on her sleeping dress… the moons and the stars are lightning against her eyes.

I start playing Ave Maria… why did it come to my mind to play this song? I don't have any clue… but it makes a different harmony with her violin… I follow the trace of my and her hearts' notes and create a brand new melody…

* * *

Thanks for reading! Reviews are always welcome!

I'm sorry, this chapter is a little bit long and it's 99% pure KahoXLen moments :P Hope you enjoyed!

**Million thanks for the reviews! They made my day**! I'll answer for all of them after I moved :)

The song at the beginning is from** Enigma-Gravity of love**. It's a wonderful song, if you have time listen to it! It's the mixture of Carmina Burana with a lovely woman's sing and lyric.

* * *

The next chapter is almost done, I need like 2 more pages :P But I have bad news... tomorrow I'm moving and I don't know when I will have internet. But as soon as I have, I'll post the next chapter for sure! I appreciate your patience! Hopefully, I'm not going to disappoint you! I try my best!

I have to tell you that I'm fully enjoying writing this fan fiction! I have much fun writing it!

I assure you that more characters will appear :P soon enough ;) Like Kanazawa, Ousaki and our favorite principal Kira :P

* * *

**Next chapter: Never think of yesterday!**


	6. Never think of yesterday!

Hi Everyone! I missed you all! But finally I can update!

**First of all, I WANT TO SAY THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!**

**_Secondly, I have received a huge surprise that I'd never expected! I've been chosen to be the "AU of the Month" with my story of "Rommates"_** (this one :)

lacordadorofic . blogspot . com - you can find more information in this site! (just eliminate the spaces)

**_I feel deeply honored that I was chosen! It was a great surprise and it made me jumping on my feet! Thank you all, and thanks for those who nominated me!_**

But now, there is the new chapter and I hope you will enjoy reading it!

* * *

**Roommates**

**Chapter 6: Never think of yesterday!**

* * *

Sunrise and here comes another day. I'm relieved and exultant… I sense a smile is hiding in the shadow of my lips but it's not hard to lure it outside…I keep on smiling when I snuggle my forlorn pillow on my right side. It's so puffy and soft… It tickles my cheeks but I don't mind. It's simply pleasant. The warm blanket doesn't let me go to take a shower or… I don't want to let it go? Probably the latter one! I giggle on my inward monologue and roll to my left side.

Yesterday my face was tear stained and today my lips are in fervent smiles. "What a whimsical teenager I am! "

I feel my body is limp in the soft bed but the dim sound of a knock disturbs my daydreaming about fluffy clouds and pillows…

With wobbly legs, I stand up and open the door…

It is Len… who else did I expect?

Somehow I can't stop smiling at him. I just woke up and sometimes I'm grumpy at the early mornings but this time I keep on smiling. He is still the same ice cube but yesterday many things happened and he proved me that Tsukimori Len has something warm deep inside his heart.

First of all… he blurted out a word which was unexpected and it's still tingling in my ears:

**"Stay…"**

He has changed my mood and I didn't know what to do. I just ran back to my room, sat on the bed and start crying. It was the time for happy tears! He was there with me… didn't comfort me or didn't even say any other word. But he didn't need to. His presence was more than enough. I must have fallen asleep because I don't remember anything else besides my sobs. Why did he change his mind? I don't understand him… but never mind. He did, and this is the most significant!

Secondly, yesterday he just said my name!

For the first time!

A ginger and magical word for my ears: **"Kahoko…"**

I've never felt like this before. I didn't even dare to think how a word could light a flame in my soul. It's just my name! Many people called me Kahoko, Kaho, Kaho-chan, Hino, Hino-san… but when he pronounced my name without faltering… everything went blurry. My heart was beating in my throat. I sensed a tendril was coming from his hands and twiddling around my waist then pulling me closer to him. I was in my personal bubble… somewhere deep in my mind and I didn't comprehend why did he have such an enormous effect on me by just saying my name! It's still a mystery for me but lately, nothing made me this happy!

Thirdly, he **smile**d!

He smiled!

He smiled for the first time and he was smiling at me!

It was still a timid and half smile… yet cute and he even looked more handsome! I'm not sure if he smiled consciously, but he did it! A verdant smile on Tsukimori Len's face…  
Anyway, he needs more practice! I had incredulity in my eyes when I witnessed his indecisive smile but it made my legs move on their own and jump on them. Gullibility crept over me when I saw his smile didn't fade away for some moments and I was so reluctant…  
Why did I have to mention his smile? After that he stopped smiling…  
But I don't give up! I will make him smile every day! But… why did he smile? Did he have a certain reason? Never mind his motive!

I feel like my heart palpitates in my fingers anytime I think of how he could make me happy with mere words and with a simple act like a smile… He is just an enigmatic person. Or am I too sensitive? I also forgot the incident with my black bra… he made me forget it so quickly with these small things.

"Morning Kahoko! " His eyes are not red anymore. It seems that both of us had a relaxing night.

"Good morning Len! " He looks pensive. I wish I could read his mind…

"I'm going to the swimming-pool… I'll be back in less than two hours. " So he is leaving me behind. But, what can I do. I can't cling on him all day long… What are you thinking of Kahoko? He is only your roommate!

"What's the time? " What a question… couldn't you come up with something better, Hino Kahoko? I slap myself mentally and struggle to recover myself from my slumber!

"It's 7:10 am. It's still early… " Of course it's early! And on the top of everything today is Sunday! I wish I could sleep more but somehow I woke up…

"Wait, Len…" He is about to turn his back on me… how I hate when he does that… it's a bad omen! "Don't you want to eat breakfast before you leave? " What a silly question... nobody eats before swimming.

"Thanks, but I'll eat after I come back from swimming! See you later! " And he leaves…

* * *

So it was a gentle recommendation that he would love to eat breakfast after swimming. It means I have to be ready with the food in less than two hours. That's all right…

Why do I feel that I'm his maid or servant… or worse… his WIFE? Bah… Kahoko! How could you think of something like that? A married couple sleeps together… you have separate bedrooms!

Then why I trouble myself to prepare food for him?

…

Do I have any specific reason?

…

Well….

Hmmmm….

I cook for myself and it's not a trouble for me to cook more.

…

Lame excuse… Come on… you know better than this!

…

"I don't care the discount from the renting fee! " I scream to the mirror while I'm brushing my teeth!

Of course it's not about the renting fee! I argue with the scarlet haired girl in the mirror… with my own reflection. I must have gone mad!

But if I look closer… there is a tiny gleam at the corner of my orbs…

What is that gleam?

…

Can it be happiness?

…

Yes…. I have to admit that it makes me happy when I prepare the food for him and he is eating it with so much pleasure. Then he compliments the food. His simple statements made my day!

* * *

"I assess that his adventure with the mop was really amusing! " I leave out a soft guffaw as I look around the kitchen.

I didn't mean to spy on him but while I was dusting the shelves I eyed his frustrated posture as he was standing at the kitchen door. He was so helpless with the mop in his hands. I had the urge to go there and help him but… I cannot recall what had stopped me.

He pervaded the mop with the cold water then caressed the floor with it. Yes! He barely touched the floor with the mop! He spread over the huge amount of water on the white floor. Len didn't touch the mop and I guess he didn't even have the mind to twist the water out of it.

He didn't discover immediately that he was standing in the middle of the water… IN SOCKS! I chuckled because my view was really hilarious!

But I couldn't stand it anymore and I laughed so hardly! He didn't notice it… he was too occupied with the mop and with the floating chilling water.

Then the trash… It was not stinky! It was really not! I'm not sure about the garbage collector what is located outside but our trash didn't smell bad.  
I wish I could have a camera and take a picture of him how he was holding the bag with two, with TWO fingers! Don't even mention how he was keeping the distance between the bag and his body! He looked extremely funny!

* * *

"Are you thinking of yesterday? " He startles me as he approaches the kitchen. I was peeling some potatoes for lunch and somehow I didn't notice that the peeler is frozen in my right hand… "Don't think of yesterday… it's already part of the past! " Why is he talking about this?

"The breakfast is there! Enjoy your meal! " I smile and continue peeling the potatoes.

He is cold… stoic… annoying… and to cap it all he is strange, too… It's hard to manage how to live together with him. That's why I keep thinking of yesterday because now I know that he has a bright side. Ok…. That bright side is really livid… but it's still a bright side, isn't it?

"Did you think of going to the small gathering to play bowling and squash? " An innocent question and maybe I'll receive a pleasant answer from him.

"I'm still not going. " Bah, daydreaming is really bad for my health. How many disappointments will I get to my face?

"Why not? " I face him and bring my best smile to the surface.

"Because I have other things to do… " He stands up and puts the plate to the sink. "Thanks for the meal, it was really tasty! " I guess he walked to his room and closed it securely.

* * *

It's 6:10 pm and I'm about to leave the house when Len comes out of his room, fully dressed!

"So… Who else is coming? " What a boring look he is wearing on his pretty face...

"Len! Thank you! You're making me company! " I'm really happy that he is coming. "Well… you know… Ryou and Kazuki. I called Nao and Mio. "

"Who? " Of course he doesn't know them.

"They are my new friends from yoga class. " He nods. "And I called Aoi and I guess Etou-kun will escort him. Then, I invited Nami and Shoko and I'm sure that Keiichi will also come. Ryou also called Manami Mori. "

"That's a lot of people… " He remarks. "I invited Azuma… if it's ok… " He sighs in relief.

"Sure it is. Is he your friend? " Someday my curiosity will kill someone…

"I'm not sure… Never mind…. " He has a confused expression. He puts his hands into his pockets. This is the first time I can see him doing this. It's a little bit chilly. He must feel cold that's why he filled his pockets with his hands.

As we meander the tranquil streets of Vienna, slowly, but surely, we've reached the place where we meet up with the rest of the group.

* * *

My cell phone rings and I've received a text message from Nao and Mio.

_"Sorry Kahoko, but we have to do something and cannot make it on time. Tomorrow we will eat in a patisserie to make it up to you! Have fun! Nao & Mio "_

_"No problem girls. About the patisserie… I take it for granted :P "_

I texted back as soon as possible and when I lift up my head I glare at my new friends in front of a huge building.

* * *

"Kaho-chan! " Kazuki is scooting to our direction and embraces me with his huge arms. Ryou is following him with quiet footsteps.

"Yeah… look who came… the ice prince… " Ryou starts torturing Len. I wish I could know why they hate each other so much!

"Hey boys, this is not the right place and time to fight! We came here to have fun. " I can hear Len's muttering something like "How can I have fun if this guy is in 10 miles radius… "

Ryou is surrounded with a thick miasma and shooting killing glances at Len.

"You don't even greet me, Kahoko… " Azuma approaches us with a shy smile on his face. "I'm flattered because I've received two invitations" He is staring at Len and Kazuki "but on the other hand, I'm sad that Kahoko didn't invite me… " He grabs my hand and pampers it with a kiss. Why does he have this embarrassing habit? I bet that I'm blushing…

"Kahoko! Sorry, but Shoko and Keiichi called me some minutes ago that they can't come… " Nami is running to me. An expensive camera is hanging on her neck.

"Also Manami Mori can't come… she has late night practice… " Ryou says with a silent heave.

"That's ok. Maybe next time. " I'm sad that some of my new friends couldn't come. But I'm sure that we will find another opportunity to have fun together.

I catch a glimpse of two abandoned young men are leaning against the wall: Aoi and Etou. Aoi beams a little exasperation but Etou… has an unemotional expression.

"Aoi, Etou-kun! " I tiptoe to their direction and witness Aoi's forced smile. He is really disappointed.

"Kahoko! I'm glad to see you! " He envelops me in his arms. Etou frowns.

"Ok guys! Let's go inside! " Ryou is leading the group inside.

There are many children playing with parents. I can see pool, bowling and many other games. Also there is a place for squash.

Everyone follows Ryou docilely. This is a great place for having fun! I hope everyone will enjoy our time here!

* * *

Kazuki is clinging on Aoi to go and play squash and of course, without reconsideration, Aoi accepts the challenge. The rest of us go to the bar area and sit down.

Len really looks like a lost puppy and he is just following me. Am I his mommy?

Somehow I sat down between Len and Etou-kun. Ryou is sitting next to Len and Azuma is occupied with Nami.

"A glass of milk… " Etou is asking for milk?

My face must show the surprise that it's running through my mind because Etou is looking at me.

"Do you have any problem? " He is coarse. And this is the first time when he talks to me.

"Not at all…" Come on, my favorite smile never lives me in the lurch!

He frowns again and starts drinking the milk. Len and Ryou are taciturn… the atmosphere is killing between them. Ryou ordered a coke and Len is drinking some kind of tea.

"I'd like to drink milk, too. Do you have chocolate chip cookies? " I ask the bartender who has an astonished face. But he serves me with the milk and cookies.

"Are you a copy cat? " Etou sure is annoying…

"Nope, but I long for milk and chocolate chips cookies! " I chuckle and smile at him. But Etou is still glaring at me just like a statue.

"Why are you so picky with the cookies? They are all the same! " Len is watching me with wide eyes as I search between the same looking cookies. They are the same only for him!

"I'm looking for a cookie with the most chocolate in it. " I snicker and sense how simple things make me happy like a cookie with many chocolate in it. I dip the cookie into the milk then eat it.

Etou is copying my acts and as I can see well, he is enjoying the taste of the milk and the cookie.

"You know… " He starts… "I think that they invented these cookies for children. Do you know why? "

"Nope… " I smile and continue my journey in cookie and milk world.

"Well… in this way parents can force children to drink milk without ordering them. They are more willing to drink milk with cookies. Just like you… "

"I'm not a kid! " I protest! Sure I like cookies more than milk, but they fit together so perfectly.

"But you behave like one! " He continues with the nonsense…

This time I frown and purse up my lips.

He is laughing! Etou-kun is laughing!

"You are funny! " He states and can't stop laughing. Am I that funny? I don't think so.

Len just heaves and sips from his tea.

"Now I know why Aoi is… "

"What about me? Kiriya? Don't have fun without me! " Aoi's appeared and he puts his right hand on my shoulder while the other hand finds Etou's shoulder. His head peeks between us so childishly. But he is in a better mood now.

"Shhhh Shhhh… boys, let me be alone with Kahoko! Go and play somewhere else! "

Nami is enthusiastic. She made me promise that she can have an interview with me for her class project. Why did I promise such a thing?

"Let's go… " Ryou stands up and directs them to the bowling court. The boys are following him without questions. Even Etou-kun leaves the bar and abandons the half glass of milk.

"So tell me… how it feels to live together with the famous Tsukimori Len? "

"Famous? Is he famous? " I don't know anything about this…

"Haha… Kahoko… do you live under a stone? He is the son of two famous musicians: Hamai Misa and Tsukimori Len, the elder one. " She gulps from a cup of coffee.

"I've never known that Hamai Misa is the mother of Len. " Sure I didn't know…

"Do you know her? " Curious glances are shooting at me.

"Well… I just heard the name. She is a famous pianist, isn't she? " I think in my mother's letter…

"Yes she is. And his father is also a violinist. "

"Good to know… " This is surprising. "Nami, let's go and play bowling! " Somehow I'd love to avoid more questions from her.

* * *

"Tsukimori, sure you are lame at this game… want me to teach you? " Ryou is still annoying Len.

"No! " He is sending the ball to the direction of the pins. He knocked down only two pins.

Azuma is standing some steps further than them. But actually, he is close to me. The long purple haired man is coming to me with a half smile.

"I'm going. I have things to do… Good night, Kahoko! " He whispers into my ear and I can feel that he placed something into my coat's pocket.

"Azuma, are you leaving? " Kazuki is asking with a disappointed face.

"Yes, I just came here to greet everyone. "

When I'm a little bit alone, I check what's in my pocket and I take out a small paper:

_"Tomorrow have a lunch with me. Text me if it's ok: 48-438-4402"_

What? Did he just invite me for lunch? I don't know if I want to be alone with him…

The rest of the evening is more or less calm. I can hear Len and Ryou's fights. Sometimes they have a cold war between them but Ryou often remarks spicy statements. Len is not the type of man who would fight back. He just signs and maybe counts the seconds when we will leave the place.

* * *

"Hey! Len! Stop thinking of that… you cannot change anything now… " Kazuki pats Len's shoulders after sending the ball to the pins. Eventually, he knocked down all of them. "I'm not thinking of that… " His short answer satisfies the cheerful Kazuki.

I don't understand what they referred to… maybe they are talking about how Len changed his mind with my moving…

"Kahoko… " Ryou is taking a place next to me.

"Yes! "

"Do you want to know what they are talking about? " He smiles. Is it that obvious that I'm watching Len and Kazuki?

"Well… maybe about my moving out or in… " I share my best guess.

"You are wrong… It's about the past and we think that the iceberg cannot let it go… " This is strange.

"Why are you always fighting with Len? " I die to know the reason.

"Hmmmm… maybe he will kill me if I tell you… but… I just give you a hint. " He winks. "It was all about a girl… and on the top of that, you resemble her. Ask him who Sakura is." He stands up and continues playing with the boys.

A girl… this is surprising. I didn't think that Len had any romance in his life. And I resemble her… this is bad…

* * *

We are leaving the place. After all, I had much fun with my friends and I also got to know new information about my roommate.

Aoi made me promise that soon I will go and visit them in the mansion. Kazuki asked me to make him company to a basketball game and Ryou told me to play a duet with him. And don't forget the lunch invitation from Azuma…This is not going to be easy.

"Len… See! " I'm pointing to the star filled velvet sky. The moon is shining so brightly.

He mutters and nods.

"Don't you think that the stars are cracks on heaven's floor? "

"And what about the moon? " Yes, he is in my game!

"Hmmmm… the moon is a chandelier… what gives morning for heaven and night for earth. "

"Interesting… " He is still watching the sparkling firmament when we reach the apartment.

"Len… may I ask something? " Will I sound curious or jealous? Do I dare to say out my question? But I have to fulfill my sinful desire.

"If it's not annoying or wasting my time… " What an answer…

"Well… " I hesitate and keep a long pause before I gather up all of my courage.

"Just ask it!" He is impatient.

"Who is Sakura?"

* * *

Million thanks for reading! I hope you liked it!

* * *

Well, this is a long chapter! Sorry for the first part of it because I wrote a long monologue but I had my reason. Maybe it's boring, but I really wanted you to show Kahoko's thoughts and mainly about Len. On the other hand, I had time to write and I just couldn't stop it :D And I didn't want to cut it into two chapters.

About the name of Len's father, I didn't have any idea what kind of name I can come up with, so I just gave him the same name :D Let me know if you don't like it.

The name of Sakura, I know that you will say Naruto or something like that... but actually, I really adore this name and I don't know many Japanese names... so sorry if I hurt you with this name but please, forgive me :)

* * *

**I say my thanks for those who support me, read and review my story! It feels great and I'm soooooooooooooo happy! **

**Now I will have more time to answer for reviews and PM's :) also read more fanfics :)**

**To An ordinary reader: Thanks for your words, they gave me so much happiness! Next time if you write a review with your account I'd love to answer for your review! I truly appreciate it!**

* * *

What do you think... will Len tell some parts of his past to Kahoko? Or will he remain silent?

And who is Sakura? :P


	7. The first fight

**Roommates**

**Chapter 7: The first fight**

* * *

"Just ask it! " Maybe my voice was louder than I expected but I can't stand her hesitation. If she wants something just share it… It's so annoying. And she is still taciturn… now she makes me curious… maybe just a little. I just can't imagine what she wants to ask…

"Who is Sakura?"

My mind goes blank… I just discovered that the moon's turned her back and the sky went black… The cracks on heaven's floor are covered… all of the stars are gone…

What is her question?

A dull pain is climbing up to my head and I feel dizzy. A fragment of a smirking green haired guy open's my mind's door…

_"See… what you have done… Your selfish desire is greater than anything…"_ And he was still smirking while I eyed my surroundings.

"Len…"

_"You took advantage of her… She needed help, not you! " _His voice entered my thoughts again…

"Len, are you all right? " Kahoko is asking if I'm all right… Why everyone is in this topic? I got over of Sakura a long time ago… and now that pianist shared a little piece from the puzzle with my roommate and she is obviously curious.

"What did you say? " Maybe after my reaction she is not going to ask it again.

"I just… Well… I'd like to know who is Sakura…" I was wrong… She still has the guts to repeat it.

"It doesn't concern you. " I believe that my cold answer would prevent her from asking more.

"Yes it does. " I was wrong again… Stubborn girl!

"No! It doesn't! " I almost bawl and continue my steps until I reach the door. I take out my keys and open it. She is looking at me with crystals in her eyes. She is not going to cry. I hope so.

"What a gentleman you are… don't even open the door for me! As I can see you don't consider me as a lady. And YES!" She stares my eyes out. She heaves and continues her monologue. "Yes, it concerns me."

Why she is so interested who is Sakura? Why would I tell her any part of my past or my life? I'm not obliged to share any word with her!

"It's not your business! " I retell my statement in a little bit different way. Maybe she doesn't understand things unless I teach her for synonyms.

"Yes it is! " She is so headstrong… Why can't she let it go?

"NO! " This time I shout again and take out vanilla yoghurt from the fridge. She sits at the cherry wood dining table and crosses her arms around her stomach. Does it hurt?

"YES! " She raises her voice a little bit and purses up her lips.

"What part of the 'NO' you don't understand? The 'N' or the 'O'? Let me know and I write it for you! "

"I understand 'NO' but I can't accept it. "

"Not my problem… " My feet are following each other to the living room and with a movement, I turn on the TV. I don't want to watch anything specific but the noise from the TV will prevent her to ask more. I will pretend to watch something. But she is following me.

"Yes, it's also your problem! You know Len… people don't talk about their problems and it's not right. "

"Are you trying to give me a philosophical lesson? I don't need it! " I pause for a moment.

"Then tell me why does it concern you. " I must be tough. She has a strange effect on me with her stubborn head… But I will not tell her anything.

"It's also my business because I resemble her. "

What? She resembles her. Not a chance! Kahoko and Sakura are extremely different.

"Who did tell you this nonsense? "

"I don't want to be a backstabber… " She blushes.

Then it was the pianist. No one else would say such a thing to Kahoko.

But if I reconsider it… actually… they have many similar features.

_Bright smiles_

_Cheerful behavior_

_Oversensitive_

_Caring for the people around them_

_Deadly curious _

_Put their nose into others' business_

_Childish_… well for Sakura is understandable to be childish, but not for Kahoko…

"So it's not true that I resemble her? " She is still in this topic?

"Absolutely NOT! " I can hear she's mumbling something but the sounds don't form any words.

She stands up from the white sofa.

"Good night Len. " She is upset.

"Good night. "

I keep watching the TV… and at 10 I go to my room to sleep. But first I play a song on my violin… Pachebel's Canon… This is the same song that Kahoko played for the practice class and also… the last song that I played for Sakura.

The notes are perfectly following the music sheet but somehow it sounds so melancholic. It doesn't resemble Kahoko's Canon… hers was full with emotions, but mine… Whines of a violin in an ice cave.

When I finish the song, I place my violin on the top of the piano which is in the right corner of my room.

"Was I too harsh with Kahoko?" I don't care much, but … Never mind.

Until now I was successful to hide these feelings and dig them so deep in the sand. I didn't think of Sakura or anything related to high school life in Seiso Academy. People thought that the incident with her will change me but it has become worse.

* * *

The next day has started smoothly. She waited for me with a delicious breakfast; we walked together to the university. I was the one who chose this apartment because it's close to the university and I can walk there every day.

I'm staring at the dried colorful leaves on the sidewalk and she is collecting them. She is antisocial now… I wonder if she forgot about her yesterday interest. Well… yesterday we had our first fight. I don't call it as a real fight but I shouted and she shouted. For me it was a serious matter and she just couldn't stop asking nonsense. Why did we fight? We were like toddlers… fighting over a toy… And on the other hand, women never forget… so this is just lull before the storm.

We greet everyone on the music history class like every morning. She sits close to Aoi and the pianist.

"Hey Len, what's wrong? " Kazuki asks with a tentative voice… If friends exist, he would be the only one.

"Nothing… "

"I heard that Ryou told to Kahoko about Sakura… "

"I know… "

"Did you tell her anything? "

"Of course: not. It doesn't concern her. "

"Len, come on… She has the same personality and don't deny it. And frankly, I believe that would be beneficial for you to share a little with your roommate. Not many people know about this... you know…"

"I don't think so… " I trust in my intuition and it's a bad idea to share anything with Kahoko.

"Whatever. It's your decision but it was not a big event for _any of us_, so don't make a big deal from it because it's not. And don't pay attention on Ryou… he exaggerates it. "

"Thanks. " I cannot say anything more… but he is a good friend.

"Oh… did you hear? " The agony's left his face and exchanged it for a joyful expression.

"What? "

"Well.. the word 'hear' is not appropriate for this but there is a paper hanging in the music department and there is a list on it. "

"Does it concern me? "

"Yes. Most of the Japanese students who play any instruments are on this list and we will have a new teacher for a group practice. "

"I see… "

"Do you want to know the teacher? " I don't care about the teacher. So I don't answer for this question.

Before lunch we have this practice and everyone is going to the classroom. I expected to see these students so I'm not surprised: Kahoko, the pianist, Kazuki, Azuma, Kaji, Etou, Manami Mori, Fuyuumi, Keiichi and me.

* * *

Right now, I'm glaring at the familiar teacher. The old man… Of course, he is 20 minutes late. He is unshaved… His light pink hair is in pony tail and he's just finished smoking. And don't even mention that he is in trouble how to start… WHY IS HE HERE?

"I'm Kanazawa Hiroto… welcome everyone! " Now he is scratching his head… "Well… we gathered together all of the Japanese students and we will have many things to do. "

"Like what, sensei? " Kazuki shows that Kanazawa sensei is still his favorite since high school…

"Like preparing and practicing for performances and we will also have a holiday together… ah yes… I almost forgot… We have to decide soon where we will go because I need to arrange the trip… Italy or France? "

What a question… how does he expect us to answer right away?

"That's ok… you still have time to decide until the next week…"You must be Kaji Aoi, where are you going? I haven't finished…" he is looking at the blonde candy boy's direction as he has left his seat some seconds ago.

"I have practice in the hospital. "

"Aoi, what do you have? " Kahoko stands up and has a huge question mark in her eyes.

"I'm not a music department student… "

"Why I didn't know about this? " Kahoko smiles and waits for his reply. I guess that she paid more attention on his look like and she doesn't remember when he said that he is studying to be a surgeon.

"I'll be a surgeon, Kahoko. "

"Aoi, that's great! "

"OK… guys, I know that the young woman there is getting new information about her boyfriend…"

"He is not my boyfriend! " Kahoko protests and sits down. The candy boy has a torment countenance.

"Whatever."Kanazawa continues. "You may leave, but you still have to participate in the performances. "

"No problem! " He says and leaves as fast as he could. He must be late.

"Hey, sensei… I heard that you will set practice pairs. " How Kazuki knows things like this?

"Sure… I will hang it on the department's bulletin board by tomorrow. Now you may leave but I want to have some words with my former students. "

Kazuki, Azuma, the annoying pianist and I stay in the classroom. Kahoko meets up with two other girls. I assume that they are Nao and Mio. She also takes out her cell phone… probably texting. She is wearing a winter short with a longer sweater and with long boots…

Since when am I interested in her appearance?

I want to think of the question for more time but somebody pats my shoulders.

"Tsukimori… don't worry about things! Ah and Sakura is all right! " Kanazawa sensei winks and starts talking to Kazuki and Azuma. The green haired monster is just hanging around and shoots some amazingly annoying glances.

"So… did you leave your ice cave, Tsukimori? "

"What do you want… Tsuchiura? "

"Nothing… particularly… Did Kahoko ask about Sakura? "

"Your little plan worked almost perfectly. But she couldn't force me to talk! "

"Hmmmm… " What's his problem? "**I think I successfully made her jealous… **"

"Bunkum! Why would she be jealous over a…?" He interrupts.

"You never know… my friend… " He emphasizes the word 'friend'… "Anyway, don't forget that I'll never forgive you! "

"I don't need your forgiveness. " He leaves me alone and I discover something really easy: I'm hungry.

I search for Kazuki who is still joking around with Kanazawa sensei when I see Azuma's smarmy smile when he takes out his cell phone from his pocket. It's strange…

"Kazuki, let's go to eat…" I approach them and wait for Kazuki to stop fooling around.

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviews are welcome! The reviews give me the strength to continue writing so they mean a lot to me!

This chapter is more conversational, I hope you enjoyed it!

Million thanks for the reviews and I will reply in PM as soon as possible!

* * *

For **meowzzzz**: I have to answer you here ;) Thanks for the review! Please, let me know what was wrong with the beginning of Chapter 6 ;) And I can correct it!

* * *

Next issue: Kahoko's lunch with Azuma and a some pieces from the puzzle!


	8. The warmth of home

**Roommates**

**Chapter 8: The warmth of home**

* * *

I don't have inclination for leaving the classroom when everything becomes more interesting. So Azuma, Len, Ryou and Kazuki are former students of Kanazawa sensei. I wish I could know more but I don't want to be snoopy.

Ah and also about Sakura… his refusal was really hurting yesterday. But he must have had his reasons.

So I don't resemble her… maybe it's better in this way. It would be hard for him to handle how to live with me if I make him remember of his ex-girlfriend.

But…

What happened to them?

Never mind now…

Nao and Mio are already at the door, waiting for me to go to the patisserie. Oh no… how could I forget the lunch invitation from Azuma? My worst act would be to dispirit the girls so… sorry Azuma, but I'll recommend rescheduling our lunch.

"Hi girls! "

"Kahoko! Sorry for yesterday! " They say in unison.

"No problem! " At least I should write a text to Azuma… it's really not lady like to not inform him. I'm not a bad person.

_"Sorry to tell you now, but I have lunch with my friends. Can we dine together tomorrow? Kahoko "_

"So… girls, where is that famous patisserie? I'm craving after special dessert! " Now as I think about it, I didn't even try the famous Italian desserts.

"Just follow us to our world! " They wink and I pursue after them.

We are about to cross a street when a taxi stops in front of us. The passenger door opens and a hand grabs me in. What's going on?

"Sorry girls! My deepest apology! Kahoko and I need to talk about a duet! " The violet haired young man states with an angel smile. Oh… Azuma… He didn't even answer for my text… This must be his reply… I have a premonition…

"Ah… no problem… " Nao and Mio snicker and blush to a hue of vermilion.

Azuma doesn't afford more chit-chat with the girls and orders the driver to go on. If I could see well, I caught a glimpse of Len and Kazuki not so far from the taxi… If I saw them, then they also discovered me in the taxi… hopefully not.

* * *

I don't dare to speak… and this silence is killing me. What should I do?

Ah Yes!

Smile!

I'm extremely embarrassed and I bet that my cheeks are like the wings of a ladybug –of course, eliminate the dots…

Eh? And where is his abashed habit? Why didn't he kiss my hand? It's not like I miss it… it's just strange.

"Don't you want to say something? " He sounds harsh…should I look at him? A peek would not kill…

Slowly, I lift up my head and for my surprise, he doesn't meet my eyes. He is glaring at the road with bored face. His right hand is supporting his head.

"What are you watching? " He's strange… where is his prince smile? And am I watching him strikingly? Oh God, it's so embarrassing!

"Your saffron hair is pair with your face… " He smirks.

But what should I say?

Should I say sorry?

Why would I?

"I'm still waiting for your apology. You must have had enormous courage to refuse me…"

What? It was not the matter of courage. Simply, I was busy! It must have hurt his ego…

"I'm not going to say sorry. I informed you on time. " I look out of the window and eye the passing trees.

Trees?

Forest?

Where are we going?

Suddenly I panic and turn my face to meet his. He is still smirking.

"We're going to a special restaurant. Don't panic. "

Does he know how to read my mind? I can't stand guys who have a 6th sense. That is even annoying for a woman, but for a man…

"You need to inform me a day before… I have a busy schedule. Next time don't refuse me. " He heaves and keeps watching the dying nature.

There is no next time! I swear! Two faced prince…A silent huff leaves my lips.

"Why are you shaking? " Am I? I just huddle myself… And why is he rubbing my arms?

"I'm all right. Maybe I'm a little bit cold. " I lie. He is scary.

When we arrive, he opens the door for me and I find myself in a wonderful restaurant. The wall is painted in the color of elderflower and there are golden leaves on it.

The waiter guides us in a private area which is a smaller room with a rounded table. The table clothes are light laurel leaf just like the cover on the chairs. There is a huge fireplace and the table is next to an enormous crystal window. The restaurant would be breath taking alone but the view is more for my liking: there is a small frozen waterfall. It sparkles against the mimosa yellow sunrays.

Azuma helps me with the chair then hands over the menu. The waiter is waiting for my choice but there are too many things. I really don't know what to order.

"I'd like to have a Greek salad and a glass of a mineral water. " It's easy, quick and poor in calories.

I try to read Azuma's reaction and the only thing that I can witness is his flinching.

"She will eat this. " And he is pointing on a line in the menu. "Are you scared of the prices? Don't worry, it's my treat! But I know you could afford it…" His cunning face hides something… Does he know anything about me? I doubt.

And this is an expensive restaurant but I don't have much money with me. I never bring ATM or Visa with me… just in case I lose my purse. I only have money with me for groceries.

"Do you like the place? "

"Yes, I do…" I smile… of course I like it. It's gorgeous.

"Your cheeks are flushed in the same color as a small girl's pink ballet slippers: so innocent and cheerful…"

Now they must be darker… something like lobster with beet… what a horrible combination.

"Sir, your order is here! " The waiter places a huge plate in front of me: a stuffed lobster. Talk about lobsters…

"Eh… Ano… Do you have kids' menu? " Azuma sighs and emanates frustration.

"Sorry, Madam! We don't have such a thing…" He bows and leaves.

"Eat like a woman! Or are you a bird? "

"This is really much… " There is also the Greek salad that I ordered. This food would be enough for three days.

"Now, tell me… how you like living in an ice cave with Tsukimori… " His interest's visited his porcelain face again. His prying eyes struggle to see everything in my mind.

I almost choke… but I successfully overcome the obstacle.

"I like living with him… " Will he be satisfied with my laconic answer?

"My… my… anyway… Do you like the food? "

"It's delicious. " I swallow hard.

"Do you know how to cook? " Is it a questionary? I just nod. But he continues talking. "Then you must have the knowledge of cooking skills and you know what's missing from this dish. "

How can he say something like this? This is a pricey restaurant and the food is high quality. Nothing is missing.

"Maybe a little salt… " I share my best guess, but it's still absurd.

"Haha… " His derisive guffaw tingles in my ears. "Be reasonable, Kahoko…"

"For me, this is perfect. " That's the truth. I purse up my lips.

"A simple thing is missing: _the warmth of home_. Or _love_… I don't state that the chef prepared this lunch without love. I bet that he loves cooking and he puts his heart in it. But he didn't place that kind of family love in it that can be found in home cooked food…. " He takes a brief pause. "That's why Tsukimori eats your food… "

He is talking about nonsense… but… then… Len doesn't like my food?

"He likes your food, but he adores the love that you put in it…He is not conscious of this, but this is a simple explanation…His mother never cooked. He must have eaten the last home cooked food when he was like 5… His grandmother was a kitchen fairy. " Maybe he has right… but it's still unbelievable.

"I think he is just hungry… " That would be a sad fact but I still accept it.

"What kind of food do you cook? "

"Chicken… pasta… soups… " He interrupts my listing.

"No Japanese cuisine? " No… no Japanese… "I'm aware of the reason and you don't have to act in front of me… I know everything about you. "

It's just a bluff. He cannot know everything about me…

"You're not the only one who is living in someone else's dream… don't forget that past has bigger footsteps than you do… just keep running away… " Azuma is getting more and more the evil character in my eyes…

"I don't know what you are talking about… " A timid smile festoons my lips.

"Ah and that smile… don't force it… I'm sure you're in pain… Being a student in New York, then suddenly transferred to London, and at last, searching for a roommate in Vienna. Eventually, _he_ will find you…"

"I don't care if he does… " Why does he have to talk about this and how did he find out? A plaint is creeping upon me… I smile because in this way I don't think of the past…

"Just become my roommate and I forget his name… Keep in mind that I have connections. "

Bastard…he is trying to blackmail me.

"You can do it. It doesn't change anything… "

"Just think about it. It would be more enjoyable to live with me than with that ice cube… "

"Len is a good person. Actually, I was surprised to find out that he had romance in his life. It's so hard to believe. "

"Romance? Haha… He had romance in his life. That's hilarious… Did you mean Sakura… poor little thing… " A sneer is painted on his lips.

I just continue eating…

"Would you like dessert? I ordered Panna Cotta… hope you'll like it… " A pure smile spreads across his face.

Well, after this conversation I just taste bitterness in my mouth… but the Panna Cotta tastes great!

"Have you heard about the 'Golden String'? His calmness is aching in my stomach.

Any topic but not this! Please, stop it!

A sharp headache enters my senses and I feel dizzy.

The 'Golden String'… which belonged to my mother and now it decorates my violin… The damned string... That's how musicians named it. But for me, it's a miracle… it's a blessing!

"I'll be late for violin practice. I should go now. "

He grabs my hands.

"Do you plan on leaving me alone while I'm at the middle of my meal? " He makes me uneasy with one sentence. I just want to escape from his ferocious questions and remarks.

And I should have waited for him like ten more minutes. We are taciturn in the taxi. I hope that Azuma is not going to talk about matters that don't concern him. Now I resemble Len… "It doesn't concern me!" Haha… that's funny. _I miss his cold attitude._

"Kahoko… Don't forget! You are welcome in my apartment! " Azuma comes close enough to my face and whispers the words into my ear. I feel the chilly goose bumps on my back.

* * *

"Hino Kahoko, you're late! " I meet the angry face of the teacher. Len, Aoi and Etou are looking at me with a suspicious glint in their eyes. Aoi seems to be sad. Etou's uninterested expression while Len… Len… I cannot read his face but he is strange.

Did Len see me in the taxi with his friend, Azuma? Why do I sense this pressure in my stomach? Do I need to tell him where I was? With whom I was? He is not my boyfriend! I don't even have a boyfriend! Then why would I feel bad about an innocent lunch with my friend… Eh… well… It was not exactly an innocent lunch, but nothing happened! And can I call Azuma 'friend'? Is he my friend?

"Kahoko! Start playing this! " He gives me a music sheet. What's this? Paganini? Caprices? Is he serious?

"I believe, this is not the first time you see this sheet! For the next time, everyone should memorize it without a single fault! "

I start playing it, but it's really difficult. And I can't even pay enough attention. I just keep starring at the golden string what resonates under my fingers.

* * *

Finally! Yoga class!

"Eh, Kahoko… you didn't even tell us that you have a handsome boyfriend! " Nao and Mio start teasing me. I knew that this will happen.

"Don't misunderstand. We just play a duet together. He plays the flute. " What a lie! Kahoko, you will burn in hell for your sins! I haven't even heard him playing the flute… He must be really talented.

This yoga is awesome. It eases my mind and body. This is what I need now! But why Etou-kun is at the door of the changing room? What is he doing here? Did he transfer from swimming to yoga? I would be abashed if I were him… surrounded with many girls. Or maybe boys enjoy these kinds of situations?

He is signaling with his head to go to him. Am I a dog?

"Here… " He gives me a small envelop. "Open it. He's waiting for your answer. "

I open it and I find a tiny piece of paper.

_"Kahoko, please, be our guest for the whole weekend. Aoi "_

"Why did you bring this to me? I mean, why he didn't… "

"I also hate being a postman, but I lost a bet with him… and on the other hand, he is busy right now… "

Somehow, I like Etou's annoyed face. But he's still waiting for my answer. Why do these boys give me a hard time and put me under pressure?

The whole weekend? That's impossible. I cannot leave Len without food for the entire weekend. OK, he is a big boy and I'm not his mother! Thank God for that… but I still have the obligation in my heart to help him out… Probably, he would go out and eat somewhere but… just to remember what Azuma said about the 'warmth of home and love…"

"Tell him that I'll be there only on Saturday! And thanks for the invitation! " This is fair with everyone.

"OK… " He steps towards the door but he turns his head back. "Ah… I'll buy some chocolate chip cookies for you! " He winks and leaves me alone at the door.

What a nice remark! I hear his clatter on the floor and he looks joyful. Maybe he is not that bad…

"Nao! Mio! See you tomorrow! I'll go shopping now!"

"See you Kahoko! "

* * *

I should buy ingredients for dinner. What should I buy? Hmmmm… maybe some kind of pasta… chicken Alfredo? That would go. Fast and delicious. And there it is: I need yoghurt, jelly, fruits, almond and whipped cream. It will be a dessert what doesn't have much sugar in it: perfect sweet for Len.

When I arrive he is not at home.

Where is he?

He didn't tell me if he goes somewhere after classes.

But Kahoko!

Think!

He doesn't need to tell you where he goes… he is nobody to you…

Then stop caring for him!

…

I can't…

….

That's ok! At least I have enough time to prepare the dinner and the yoghurt cake!

Done! I just need to cool down the cake.

6:30 pm and he is still not here… Should I call him?

Definitely NOT!

* * *

I sit in the living room and just staring at the furniture… Everything has a color of cornflower blue. This must be his favorite color. It's cold and peaceful… Did Sakura like this color? … why am I still thinking of her name? I cannot be jealous of someone who I don't even know. But I'm a little bit envy because she must have known more things of Len.

"What are you doing here? " His usual chilly voice greets me. How much I missed it...

Len! He is here! When did he arrive and why I didn't see him? And why am I overexcited over his presence and ignore his frosty words?

"Food is ready! Want to eat now? " He nods and I lead us to the kitchen.

I comply with my roommate responsibilities. I cook. I clean. I smile. I don't bother him with unreasonable questions. I try not to waste his precious time… but why he doesn't smile?

"Why were you late for violin practice? Don't you take seriously music and practice? "

He is starring at the chicken Alfredo… then looking into my eyes. His golden orbs are unemotional. But why does he care if I was late? Should I tell him that I had lunch with Azuma? If I don't tell to Len and later on he will find out… that's worse.

"I had lunch with Azuma…" I turn to a hue of rose quartz.

"I see… " And he continues eating… I should change the topic!

"I prepared something special…and you'll help me to finish it! "

He has wide eyes… callous expression. But he can't take my mood away. I just place the yoghurt cake in front of him and give a pack of almond flakes into his hands.

"Just put some on the top. " I grin.

"What's this? " He doesn't complain more, just opens the bag of almonds and sprinkle the top of the cake.

"Yoghurt cake! " I jump on my feet and happiness overflows in my body. He likes yoghurt, so he will like this, too. I put some strawberries and bananas in it. Also a little coconut milk with whipped cream… I really hope that he will like it.

I cut a huge piece for him and first he is just watching it. Then he lifts it up until his nose and smells it.

"Bah… stop smelling it! It's just yoghurt. "

He takes the small spoon and tastes the first piece. If I can see well, he has a pale smile on his lips. So cute…

After the cake I start cleaning the dishes and like a cunning wolf, he appears at my back. He places his hands on the countertop and I'm between his arms. I swear, for a second, I didn't breathe.

"Why do you do that? " Probably, he refers to cleaning. "We have a dish washer… " He grabs the plates from my hand and opens the dish washer.

"That's for spoiled and lazy girls! " I smile… well I used to be a spoiled girl… but not anymore.

"That's ok… Just go and take a shower. "

What happened to him? He is strange…

"Kahoko! " He is calling me… on my name again! "Thanks for the dinner. It was delicious! "

This sonorous sentence means everything! Maybe, it's really the warmth of home…

* * *

It's more than 11 pm and I cannot sleep… Len promised me to play a duet every day but he didn't want today… he was studying and playing the violin alone. After all, I didn't dare to ask him where he was. But I want to know…

I need to drink a glass of water…

I walk to the kitchen and with a glass of water I go to the living room.

I hear that Len is sleeping on the sofa. Why is he sleeping here?

I sit not so far from him and keep watching his sleeping figure. He doesn't wear shirt, probably, just longer pants. He has a small, warm blanket and a flat pillow.

He really acted strange today.

But suddenly, he starts wheezing. He turns to the left side then to the right. He is moving his hands up and down and… is he crying? Is it a crystal nipping down on his handsome face?

He must have a nightmare!

"Len! Wake up! It's just a dream! Len! "

Slowly, he opens his eyes and snuggles me by my waist. I sense a hummingbird is flying from my stomach up to my throat. His gentle and soft hands are wrapped around my stomach and his face is buried in my lap.

"Len… what's wrong? " I struggle to lift up his head and see his face.

Is he in pain?

Is he startled by his dream?

How can I help him?

His heavy breath calms down and he raises his head. Suddenly, Len's gloaming pupil stares into mine and I begin to huff and puff. His orbs are full with regret… fear and desire…

Desire for what?

His face is too close…

The proximity between our bodies is some millimeters…

His hands are on my knees and his head leans closer to mine…

My stomach tightens… and for the second time today, I forget that air exists and I need it. A second has passed and his hand is on my occiput and he's caressing my hair with such care.

What does he want?

I stifle a loud heave and we stare into each others' eyes. But he breaks the eye contact and his orbs turns to my lips.

My lips?

He is not going to kiss me, is he?

His mint breath tickles my chin and his lips are agape with a tiny shape of 'O'.

Does he intend to kiss me because I truly resemble Sakura?

Am I the same outside or inside?

Kahoko!

Stop!

He is about to kiss you and you're thinking of unimportant matters! Just accept the kiss and enjoy it!

_Len's lips begin to graze mines. First, it's just the soft touches of our skins. It's just like a whisper of a singing bird. I secure my eyes and make sure to not peek._

_I open the doors to my mouth and he enters…_

_I tremble…_

_Honey…_

_Ambrosia…_

_Strawberry…_

_Len's pulling me closer to him to strengthen the kiss… I lean against his chest and forget the world around me…_

His head is on my shoulder and he's shaking… The proximity of our bodies is not that close anymore…

Did he kiss me?

…

No…

His lips almost touched mine when he pulled back… I just fancied the kiss.

Maybe it's better this way. I just have a vivid fantasy…

Then why do I feel disappointed?

Thinking of my embarrassing daydream of a sweet and delectable kiss with Len, I sense my blood is set ablaze and the rushing heat tints my cheeks with crimson color.

Tentatively, I place my hands on his back and sense the smoothness of his skin…

"Len… w…what's wro..wrong? " I stutter the letters out and try to soothe the clamour of my heart…

* * *

**Thanks for reading!** I hope you were not bored during this chapter! Probably, it's my longest chapter and sorry for that!

Million thanks for the previous reviews and supporters! They mean a lot to me! Keep in mind that they make my day and give so much hope to write more and more!

**Please review!** I appreciate if you tell me what to change, what to write about or some kind of special requests? I'm opened for everything! I have the storyline in my mind but don't hesitate to ask me! I'm also opened for criticism ;) That's how I can get better!

* * *

Sorry for the 'spellbound kiss', but this is not the right time for their first kiss :P It will come, I promise!

Panna Cotta: My favorite Italian dessert ;)

Yoghurt cake: No idea what are the ingredients and how to prepare it, but I know that it needs jelly in it to make it strong... or something like that.

**Meowzzzz**: Thanks for the advice and for the review! Definitely, I'll do something next time :P

* * *

Next chapter: Sakura ;)


	9. Blind innocence

**Roommates**

**Chapter 9: Blind innocence**

* * *

I'm such a coward.

I was so close to surrender to my carnal desires but I cannot afford 'right mistakes'.

It's not more than electric magnetism between a man and a woman and common people call it 'lust'. I must surpass this ordinary sensation. It's just a passionate mirage what misleads people. And I don't intend to misguide Kahoko.

It would be a gamble for our relationship as roommates. And I'm the only one who wants this kiss… who knows what's in her mind…

Her eyes are quivering. She is in shock… _why would she desire a kiss from a guy like me_? I completely understand her point of view.

And on the top of everything, I'm dealing with the desire of my first kiss…

It should be special, shouldn't it? People believe that only girls make a big deal of first kisses, but I guess it plays the same importance for boys.

Mysteries are hold in her eyes of gold and I'm still dazzled by them… This unknown sensation has pulled me closer to her. But if I want to be honest with myself, I should admit that this sleeping shirt helps to discover her curves…

Probably, she didn't expect me to be in the living room and she forgot to button up her first two buttons. The cotton material has a light pearl color. The ordinary buttons are replaced with tiny hollyhock pink butterflies. I should intromit the thought into my mind that she looks glamorous and alluring.

Why do I have these annoying thoughts?

I just avert my eyes from her lips and try to lengthen the distance between our faces. Her fragrance is the exact same what she leaves in the bathroom after shower. It's some kind of cherry…I inhale it and engrave it into my memory.

I place my head on her shoulder and push my hands down on her petite back.

"Len… w…what's wr..wrong? " Her voice is tumbling and her body's temperature must have gone low… she is shaking.

I fall down on the sofa and struggle to find the farthest place on it. I grab her delicate hands and pull her closer to me.

She is following my lead without questions, but the surprise in her expression is priceless.

She sets her face in front of mine and we're just staring at each other. A questionable smile curves up on her tempting lips but right now, I cannot return the small favor.

I cover Kahoko with the small blanket and pull her body closer to mine. I secure her hands into mine and embrace the strawberry girl in my arms.

"Len, what's wrong? " Poor girl, how many times did she repeat this simple question?

"Nothing…" I state and breathe in the fragrance of her shampoo.

"You're strange…" She is trembling.

"Are you cold? " I hope she's not afraid of me and that's not the reason of her chilly body.

"Yes, I'm a little bit cold…" Ah, thank God…

I place my right palm on her bare knee and I feel her body leans closer to me.

I swallow hard and try to restrain myself from climbing up on her thigh. After all, I am a man and a healthy man! Definitely, it was a bad idea to have a female roommate. I'm a gentleman and I'll remain a gentleman until the end of time!

"Len, you can tell me what's wrong…" She insists.

_Everything is wrong_…

…

When I think of the situation how Yunoki grabbed her hand and kidnapped her… and how Etou flirted with Kahoko after her yoga class… yes, I also witnessed that. I happened to be there and saw the small paper in her hand. I also remember when she was late for violin class. I didn't like that she was late. She didn't care for the class or Yunoki made her late… _I dislike both answers_…

But why?

I'm not jealous.

I don't care for her.

I don't care for her personal life.

She is not obliged to share her life with me.

_I'm nobody to her…_

Then why do I feel a ball in my stomach when I recall Yunoki, Kaji and Etou… ?

It's just magnetism… it's just lust… I don't feel anything else for her. When I'm in love, I'll fulfill this sensation.

I pull closer to her face and keep glaring at her lips. It's just too tempting. I should do something to soothe myself down.

I lift up my head from her lips which I almost skimmed and I whisper a kiss on the tip of her nose.

Probably I smiled a little because she giggles.

"I had a nightmare… don't worry about it… " I blurt out an acceptable answer.

But my mind shifts to Sakura… why people around me brought this memory to the surface?

* * *

It happened three years ago… back to Seiso High School, more precisely in my second year. I happened to be a participant of an interschool concourse. There were no more options for a competition just to _win_ it and this was my _goal_.

I needed to choose a song then practice it until the melody was perfect. If anyone or anything disturbed me, I had no mercy just show my coldest attitude towards the topic. And the same occurred on that day…

"OK…. As you can see, I told you to come because I have something to say. "

Kanazawa sensei… the same old man with the ridiculous pink cotton candy hair…He is unshaved, like always, and with a usual movement he was tiredly scratching his head.

"What is it about? " Tsuchiura asked with a bored expression.

"Well… you have a mandatory task what will interfere with your practice. Also, it will help you in growth. "

"I don't have time for nonsense…" I don't give my consent for unreasonable requests which will prevent me from practice more.

"Don't be hedgehoggy, the principal doesn't take 'no' as an answer. Or you'll be disqualified from the concourse. "

Just great! I thought with exasperation.

"I'd like to know the task, sensei! Is it fun? " Kazuki emanated enthusiasm.

"It's a point of view. But let's talk about the kernel part of it. There is a little girl, who is called _Sakura_. She is 8 years old and completely blind. She was born like that. Her wish is to learn how to play an instrument but she cannot decide. " He heaved and looked around for checking our expression.

"So you guys will go every day and play something cheerful for this little girl. You'll be there for 30 minutes and make sure that you play something happy. She has other problems besides blindness… "

He took a deep breath and continued.

"Anyway, help her to find which instrument suits her best… your first visit is today. This is the order. "

He gave a piece of paper to everyone with Sakura's address and phone number also a list with our names.

The first is me, with violin, the second is the pianist then Kazuki with the trumpet and the last one is Yunoki with the flute.

"It's stark mad, I don't have time for this… " I heaved and picked up my violin case.

"Ah sensei… " the pianist started…"In my opinion, Tsukimori doesn't need to go… "

"What do you mean by that? " I questioned him.

"It would be the _case of the blind leading the blind_…" He chuckled and caressed his own arms. "You suppose to help her to be cheerful not turning her room into an ice cage…"

"Are you purblind? You're _destitute of common sense_…" His sentence was not understandable… My entire struggle was to hurt him.

"You're _destitute of good feeling_…" He flinched and left the room.

I was seething with anger…

* * *

The address was written on the paper and I had less than ten minutes to reach the house. I should have fetched a taxi in order to be punctual. I knew that this is just a little girl and if I were late, nothing would have happened. But being accurate in everything was always my trade mark. So I just couldn't afford mistakes.

The house or mansion was huge. It was pair with my parents' house. The garden was also wonderful, full with exotic flowers and trees.

Not so far from the building, there was a blanket on the grass and a little girl was lying on it. A snow white tiny cat was nesting on her stomach. Her eyes were closed and apparently she was enjoying the late autumn sunrays.

The weather was mild and the sun was surprisingly hot despite it was September.

A maid was standing above the sleeping girl when I stepped closer to them. The woman checked my hand which held the violin case then she nodded.

"Pssst… she is sleeping… " She smiled timidly and placed her index finger close to her lips.

Sakura had long yellow mimosa hair with some curls in it. Her petite figure was covered with a long light blue dress.

"I'm not sleeping… " She sighed and her hand landed on the cat's back. She swam her tiny fingers into the white hair of the cat. The animal purred a little and tiredly stretched its legs.

"You're Len Onii-chan! I'm happy to meet you! " She was well mannered and seemingly more mature than her age.

She sat on the blanket and stared at the far distance. Her eyes were deep green and her features were not exactly Japanese.

"My daddy is American…" She smiled proudly and I felt that she could have read my mind.

"Sakura, if you need something, just let me know. " The maid excused herself and we were alone.

"Nice to meet you! " I grabbed her hand and caused a huge grin on her lips.

"You took fifty-seven steps from the gate… Your pace is normal… neither slow nor energetic…" She giggled. So she was awake the entire time since I entered. And she was counting my footsteps. I heard that blind people's other abilities are better than a normal, healthy people's. So it was true. Maybe she would have been a great musician.

"I want you to play something wonderful for me! " Women are women. You don't need to think of their age… they behave omnipotent and magnificent! She just ordered me to play…

I didn't even rethink what to play because the piece was already chosen for the next selection of the concourse: Paganini-Fifth Caprice. It was an energetic, perfect melody for the winner. I needed to keep up because the results were tie with the pianist.

I still had two weeks to make a perfect song from the plain music sheet and I couldn't afford rest. I had to tag along with this girl but that didn't mean free time for me. I was there and I practiced the Paganini piece all the time. I was merciless with myself and later on I realized that I was ruthless to Sakura.

"Onii-chan… I don't like this song…" She pursed up her lips. "Can you play something happy? "

"Why? " I asked with a cold manner.

"Because I want to see colors that I've never seen before… " She cried out with a cheerful smile. How could she see colors?

"Len Onii-chan… can you tell me how my room looks like? " That was my fifth visit in her mansion.

"Well, the walls are blue and purple. Your curtain is light pink just like your bed clothes and you have a yellow desk…"

She heaved and a single cry left her eyes.

"Can you tell more about it? " She was not satisfied with my description. "I mean… can you compare the colors with something? " She smiled between teardrops and whined a little.

"I can't… " I was honest. I really didn't know with what to compare her room and exactly what she wanted to hear from me.

"That's ok… " She grinned and with small footsteps she followed the noise of my feet and approached me. She hugged me so tightly!

"Len Onii-chan… I have a friend… who told me that with the _golden string_ I will see again…" What did she talk about? What golden string?

"Who is this friend? "

"His name is _Lili_…" She chuckled. "And I cannot see him. But he said that don't be sad because nobody can see him… and I'm the first one who could hear him! "

"Are you sure about this? " She must have heard things…

"Yes! " She was jumping and I picked her up. She was a little bit heavy. "Lili said that he is a _Fata_…" Her face was heated up and painted her cheek with livid pink color.

"What? Fata? " What was a Fata? I really didn't know.

"He is a _music fairy_…and he said that he is tiny and he has wings and his clothes are blue. Ah and he is afraid of my dog and my cat…" Sakura placed her head on my shoulder. And of course, I didn't believe in any words what she said.

She touched my face and my lips with her soft fingers.

"Onii-chan… smile! " And she smiled to the remoteness…

She was just an innocent, blind girl on who I wasted my precious practice time. But after all, it was not a whole waste because I kept playing the Fifth Caprice until the last day of my visit.

"Len Onii-chan… I have a gift for you… " She gave me a CD and smiled.

"What's this? " I held the CD in my hands. I don't need to mention that I never listened to it and I don't even remember where it is.

"Lili told me to buy this for you… " It was getting more annoying and I really didn't care who was Lili and why Sakura mentioned him all the time when I was there.

"Can you play something else for me? " She referred to change the Paganini song. Well, I knew that I was coming again on the next day. It was the last visit before the concourse.

"OK… " I started playing Canon by Pachelbel. Somehow I felt the urge to play the song without any mistakes and put all my effort to turn it into a cheerful melody.

When I stopped, she cheered on me.

"Len Onii-chan! That was wonderful! I decided to learn how to play the violin…" She grabbed her cat and she snuggled it.

When I left the mansion, everything was all right. But not on the next day…

* * *

"I'm here to play for Sakura! " I glared at the maid who opened the door for me. She was holding a handkerchief in her hand. Her eyes were red and seemingly, she cried.

"Sakura is not here… " She answered between whimpering.

"Where is she? " It was not common that she left the house. She had private tutors and her mother was strict with the girl.

"She's in the hospital! " The maid started shedding tears again.

I didn't need more information. I just ran and ran until the hospital. Somehow I felt guilty but I didn't understand why.

When I arrived, I was not surprised to see the pianist, Kazuki and Yunoki in the waiting room. And also, it was something normal that the pianist grabbed my collar and almost lifted me up.

"See…what you've done! Your selfish desire is greater than anything! " He was frantic and I didn't defend myself just accepted the punch.

"Easy! Ryou! It's not Len's fault! " Kazuki tried to hold back the green haired monster.

"You took advantage of her! She needed help! Not you! " He shouted. "Of course it's his fault! "

"I don't know what's going on… " I said coldly.

"After you left her house yesterday, she was crying and crying. Didn't you know that her heart is weak? Didn't you know that they are waiting for a donor? " Tsuchiura continued.

I sensed that my sight was killed by his words. And the answer was simple… I was not aware of the girl's condition besides her blindness.

"Is she all right? " My lips moved by themselves and formed the most significant question.

"She's fine now… Did you think that I didn't hear you playing Paganini all the time? Don't you think that you're a selfish jerk? You think you'll win the concourse because you just practiced it? " He sneered and made his way out.

Kazuki struggled to comfort me and Yunoki remained silent, like always.

Later I got to know that she'd received a donor and the operation was a success. I couldn't go to visit her.

One day, I persuaded myself to go and visit her in the hospital. For my luck, she was sleeping and I didn't need to face her.

I placed a small cherry wood violin on the table with a small note… _"Forgive me…"_

* * *

"Len! Len! Wake up! " Kahoko is stroking my hand. "Len! Do you hear me? Don't scare me! " Her eyes are filled with tears.

I sit up on the sofa and witness that I'm wet, soaked in sweat… what happened?

"Len! Oh thank God! You're awake! You were screaming and talking in your sleep! " A tear nips down on her angel face.

She cares for me…

She was frightened…

Probable, her feelings are equal with normal, _human benevolence_.

Nothing more!

Nothing less!

She must have done the same to anyone else.

But I'm grateful for her kindness. I know I cannot show my appreciation and I'm sure that she would not want it.

"I'm fine…" I nod and land my lips on her left cheek. She is frozen by the sudden contact. I taste her skin which is smoother than a rose petal.

I sigh and whisper something into her ear which means more than just connected letters "_Kaho… Thank you!_ "

...

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading my story! I'm happy to have all of you as my loyal readers! Please, continue to the review sign :P Reviews are always welcome and much appreciated! **

* * *

Maybe you're tired with me :P I'm always sending PM's to my reviewers and showing my gratitude but I say again and I don't feel that I said enough times: **million thanks for the reviews and supporters! They give me so much hope and strength to write more and continue this story!**

* * *

Well, about the chapter... I was struggling to figure out how to write the flashback and basically, Len didn't tell anything to Kahoko.. But I let you know more about Sakura in the next chapter!

* * *

I also had difficulties with Len in this chapter because I didn't want to make him OOC... in his thoughts maybe he is a little but we never know how does he think. He is still cold towards Kahoko but at the end, actually he gives a kiss on her cheek :D So slowly he is melting but really slowly. He needs time to discover his own feelings and learn how to NOT misinterpret Kaho's reactions :P Ah and don't forget that he is 20 and he is a MAN and he is a healthy man! :D So don't blame me for his mind :D

* * *

Ah, very important! I have a** poll**! And I really need my readers' opinion! I will use the result in the next chapters!

So Please, visit my profile and vote! I'll write about it at the very end of the story but I need to introduce the topic in the next chapter!

Which song do you want to be played by the characters?

**Butterfly Lovers' Violin Concerto** or **Rimsky-Korsakov-Scheherazade**

If you haven't heard them before, you must listen to them! They're amazing and wonderful music!

* * *

**Next chapter:** Oversleeping, unexpected guests and a duet with a piano ;)


	10. Synonyms of a perfect girl

**Roommates**

**Chapter 10: Synonyms of a perfect girl**

* * *

Ah… it's always so hard to get up early each morning. But I should… If I want it or not… I have class and don't forget to fulfill the responsibilities as a good roommate and prepare breakfast for Len. By the way… why I didn't hear the blare of the alarm clock?

So strange… Hmmm… never mind…

Why am I so lazy? Just open your eyes Kahoko! Is it that difficult? But I feel that my muscles are stiff. Like I had a marathon last night…

Last night…

Len was crying and sleep talking…

He kissed my cheek…

Sofa…

Sofa?

Now I really don't dare to open my eyes…

Just slowly, really slowly I spread my eyelids…

No rush!

I have time and I don't desire to see the position in what I am. That's OK… I expected something worse. Let's analyze the situation:

I was sleeping on the sofa. It's not a big deal, isn't it? Sometimes it happens.

Then, what else… I was sleeping on the sofa with LEN! That's a big deal, isn't it? It doesn't happen every day that people sleep with their roommates! Darn it Kahoko! You do mistakes after mistakes!

OK… calm down… last night was an exception. He had nightmares and simply, I just comforted him.

Let's continue my examination… Hmmm… My left leg is resting between his legs! It feels so hot… Oh God… I know nothing's happened but only the sight of this situation makes me blush.

His left arm is under my neck and my head is nested on his bare chest! I take a deep breath and I fill my lungs with the scent of fresh lemon… that's his perfume… It's so refreshing.

And just put the whipped cream on the top of the cake that actually, my left arm is wrapped around his belly. And Len's arm is hugging my shoulder.

What a fascinated position for a _romantic couple_! But not for _roommates_!

I'm jittery for escaping from the sofa and my impatient stomach disturbs me more than anything.

Carefully, I lift up his arm from my shoulder and I remove my leg. Kahoko, you're doing just great! Don't make more noise! Maybe it's really early morning and he needs to sleep more!

I tiptoe to the kitchen and heave.

"Huh… that was close! " I muse and turn my direction to the fridge. I open its door and glare at the menu. I can't come up with any idea for breakfast. But I'm hungry.

I'm engulfed in my mind and fly back to last night. I just cannot stop recalling the tiny sparkle of his golden orbs.

The _never fading calling of his eyes_… the _loneliness_ was screaming in it! I shudder and envelop my chest between my arms.

After he said 'thank you' he smiled. It was such a heartfelt gesture. I wished to taste that rare and shy smile on his lips… Hmmm…I'm wondering what kind of taste I would have experience on his tongue… STOP IT KAHOKO!

Absentmindedly, I touch my cheek where he left the emblem of his lips. It was like the dance of carnation petals.

"Can you prepare coffee? " Ah, I'm taken aback… he is standing at the kitchen door, leaning against the wall and I jump up a feet. "I have horrible headache…" He's pressing his fingers against his temple.

"Sure… " I just hope he didn't see when I double checked the place of his kiss. That would be embarrassing.

"Why are you standing in front of the fridge? " He sits at the dining table and holds his head in his hands.

I chuckle. "Well, I was thinking of breakfast…" I gulp and shut the door of the refrigerator.

"Don't worry about breakfast… it's better to start lunch…" He heaves and stares at the digital clock on the microwave.

"Oh no! That's impossible! " My eyes must deceive me! It cannot be 10:20 am!

He only nods and seemingly, is waiting for the coffee.

I'm muddled but I should focus on the coffee… water, grounded coffee, Colombian coffee? It must be quality. Basically, this is the first time I prepare coffee.

It's done! I pour a little into a porcelain cup. I place the cup, sugar and milk in front of him.

"Thanks…" He snatches up the cup and rolls down the dark coffee on his throat.

"Don't you put sugar and milk in it? "

I'm standing above him… shell-shocked. Staring at his manly, toned chest makes my blood run around the city… Oh God, he's like Paris from the Greek mythology! The most beautiful man in the world!

Bah… I slap myself mentally and discover that lately, I have a perky mind!

"Not this time… " He grimaces a little and continues the massage on his temples.

* * *

_Ding-dong!_ I hear the doorbell which troubled my precious daydream about my own Paris… I feel like Helene…

Len tiredly lands on his feet and turns to the direction of the door. I can hear him mumbling about something but it's like the whisper of a spring breeze.

"Kahoko… we've got unbidden guests! " His eyes are wide. The door is ajar and it prevents me from any peek.

I totter to the door and bend under Len's arm which is leaning against the door. And when I see the 'guests', I'm puzzled.

My eyes are following the small crowd in front of our door… from left to right: Ryou, Kazuki, Azuma, Keiichi and Shoko. WOW… What are they doing here?

Ryou clears his throat so loud and it makes Len frown.

"Sorry to disturb the newlyweds but… may we come in? " Ryou giggles and stares at Len's bare chest then his eyes averts to my sleep shirt!

"Put on a freaking shirt! Tsukimori! Nobody is interested in your lizard muscles! " Kazuki guffaws loud on Ryou's torment.

Len turns his back and fastens his footsteps to his room. With a loud noise, he shuts it.

"Come right on it! " I beckon them in. "I'll be back! " I run to my room and try to hide my amaranth face. I rush my eyes on my closet and pick out simple jeans with a white shirt. I comb my hair and speed to the living room.

Len's already there… he is watching TV… how can he watch TV at a situation like this? Ah, Thank God, he is wearing a black shirt. It's not like I didn't like the view of his body… but the situation is worse enough…

I look around and the tension is tangible in the air. I catch a glimpse with Azuma who graces his face with a sneer smile. Ryou emanates his usual resentment against Len. Kazuki makes himself comfortable on the sofa, right next to Len and enjoys watching the flat screen TV… While Keiichi and Shoko are just standing at the door… hands are locked? They are holding hands?

"Kahoko… we just came to check on you if you're all right. If you excuse us… we have class! " Shoko states with a timid smile.

"No problem! Thanks! " They close the door behind them.

"Isn't it early for bill and coo? " Ryou furrows his brows.

"It's a sheer misconception. " Len vouches.

"Ah… really? " The tall dark green haired guy questions him. "Then why did you hug Kaho by her waist? "

What? He didn't! Our 'guests' didn't see me. But actually, I just bent under Len's arm.

"If you refer to the door situation, I recommend you to wear eye glasses! " Len changes the channel and it's landed on Animal Planet. He puts down the remote on the small wooden desk next to the sofa.

_"Mating is extremely simple between the bull and the cow…"_ And Ryou snaps up the remote and would turn the TV off but Len is faster and grabs his hands.

"I'm watching it… " Len's brusque answer tingles in my ears.

"It's not for little kids… " Azuma blocks my view with his velvet hands. I can hardly breathe. My heartbeat picks up a fast pace.

Kazuki giggles. "Come on guys… no fights in front of a lady! "

"Ah sure… the novice needs his lesson… " But Ryou turns off the TV with these spicy words.

"I watch whatever I want. This is my house and you're merely insignificant. Now… Leave! " Len doesn't even bat an eyelash. He's just rigidly gazing the black screen.

"I came to visit Kahoko, not you. And if my memory doesn't swindle me, Kahoko lives here. " He winks at me.

"Ah, Kahoko! You've got a windbag guest. Please, entertain him! " Len stands up but Kazuki grabs his shirt. They exchange a glace and Len sits back. It must have been something between men because I didn't understand the silent conversation.

"Anyway, why are you here? " Len questions them. This time he looks around his friends.

"We were worried about you. Both of you didn't show up on Music History class…" Azuma states with bizarre tranquility in his voice.

"We've overslept… " I invite myself into the tense conversation.

"You must be really busy last night… This conceit jerk's never overslept in his entire life… " Ryou shares his brazen-faced sentence. Now I really wish to know the problem between them. I just can't stand if he is tormenting Len without a proper reason!

I fumble for a change of expression on Len's face but I fail. He's stoic like always.

"Incredulous people will burn in hell! " I snicker and hopefully Ryou understood my innuendo. But when my lips formed the sentence, I've already regretted it and I cover my mouth. It was harsh!

Deathlike silence… and four pairs of beautiful eyes are prying into my face… do they want to see my bones?

"It's almost lunch time, do you have any special request? " I softly chortle and keep the direction of the kitchen.

Kazuki is my savior this time!

"Good idea Kaho… I'm starving! Can you prepare fried rice? " What a splendid idea! If I would know how to prepare it! Anytime… my dear friend!

"Hehe… sure…" I skedaddle and almost claim victory with shutting the door behind my heels when Azuma blocks it with his hands.

Oh no… I don't need a two faced person in my kitchen. Sorry, in Len's kitchen!

"Let me help you! " He curves up his lips and closes the door.

Worst case scenario! And also it's really bad leaving Len and Ryou under one roof. Well, Kazuki is with them… so I'm a little bit calm.

But what can I do with a meddlesome look from Azuma?

"What happened between you and Tsukimori last night? " He demands and steps closer to me. I step back as our proximity lessens but I bump into the table. Azuma reaches me, places his hands on the table next to me and bends his head down to meet my eyes.

I feel hot… extremely hot!

"Answer me! " He postulates an answer from me but it's not his business. I don't owe him any explanation.

"Nothing's happened…" I explain and avert my eyes from his. He doesn't look satisfied with my curt reply and he leans even closer to me… His breath tickles the skin on my neck and his hand is on the first button on my shirt… What is he going to do? Should I scream?

"You smell like Tsukimori… He's such a looser to use the same perfume since high school…" He almost touches my skin and his index finger is circling around the white button on my shirt. "That sleep shirt looked better on you than this plain jean…" His palms envelop the sides of my waists and he heaves. "Have you reconsidered moving in to my apartment? " He smirks and pulls my body closer to him.

Ah God, I cannot take this! This is harassment! I feel my heart is in my throat! I sense a pulsating pain in my head…

"Len had a nightmare last night… and I tried to comfort him… Accidentally I fell asleep next to him…, but nothing happened! " Why? Why? Why should I have shared with him my thoughts? Why does he have such an enormous effect on me?

My body is trembling… and he evinces his victory with a derisive smile.

"You're amusing! " His face is getting closer to me again but suddenly, he covers my lips with his index finger. "Sssssss…"

Now I know what he meant. There is a coming footstep…

He grabs my wrist and positions me in front of the fridge. "Kahoko, where's the soy sauce? " He changes his smile into innocence when Len opens the door.

"Azuma… I'll help here! " Len wants to help me cooking? That would be the joke of the week!

"I don't mind helping…" Azuma giggles softly.

"You're a guest here! You can find some books in the living room! " Len takes out a huge wok pan.

I catch Azuma's desperation to stay in the kitchen but his face's stony in crushing defeat.

"Len, you don't need to help me! " I protest. But he doesn't even listen to me. He's just decorating the table with plates and napkins. He looks strange.

"I'll lay the table and you do the rice…" Ah, Welcome back! Mr. Ice Prince… And I was so naïve. I thought that the polar bear's left his cage but eventually he went back… Then why did I sense some melted drops from his icicle? I was dead wrong…

"Hey guys! Food is ready! " I exclaim and the three young men sit at the table.

Kazuki is the first one who tastes my fried rice and… has he just made a face? Isn't it tasty?

"Kahoko…" He starts… suspicious tone tingles in his words… But Ryou kicks Kazuki's legs under the table.

What's going on?

"Yes… Kazuki… did you want to say something? " I feel the rushing blood in my veins and of course my curse is following me everywhere. Why should I have so white skin? Anytime I blush I cannot hide it… Maybe I can cover my face with my hair?

"He wanted to cheer on your fried rice because it's really delicious! " Ryou forms wooing words…

I just nod and fill my grumpy stomach with the food. Len's doing the same. He must have been hungry the whole time.

"See… Len… men completely depend on women! " Kazuki is mumbling with full mouth.

"Only weak men…" Ryou remarks…"But I must agree with that statement…" He finishes the sentence.

Somehow this silence is killing me more than usual. On the other hand, I'm just concerned with Len… I wish I could know what his dream…was…

* * *

"I'll help with cleaning! " Ryou dwells in the kitchen with me after Azuma, Len and Kazuki start a tranquil conversation in the living room. Azuma gives a paper to Len but I cannot comprehend his whisper. But Len's reacting is loud… Maybe this is the very first time when I can hear him almost shouting:

"Where can I boycott? I don't agree with this! " He throws the paper on the small desk. I don't hear the rest of their conversation and I avert my attention back to Ryou.

"I understood your innuendo… Please, try to not pick up Tsukimori's habits! I know that you wished to vindicate him but he doesn't deserve it! " He's staring at the bubbles in the sink.

I'm speechless… I didn't mean to hurt Ryou…

"Did I hurt you? " I struggle to reach his face but he smiles at me.

"Don't be silly! Not a chance! But let's say that I'm deeply hurt and you can make it up if you meet me at the corner of this building in an hour! " He winks and pats my head.

"Thank you! " I whisper but he doesn't hear it. His feet are already in front of the entrance door and taking on his black, leather jacket.

Azuma and Kazuki also stand up and bid their good-bye.

"Thanks for the lunch, Kaho! " Kazuki shrieks.

Azuma doesn't verbalize his thoughts. Maybe it's better in this way.

Only Len and I remain in the living room and I sit next to him on the sofa. He's taciturn and somehow he emanates anger in his eyes.

"This copy is for you. Excuse me… " I just hear him closing the door of his room.

What's this paper? I muse and start reading it.

* * *

From: Kanazawa sensei

To: Kazuki Hihara, Azuma Yunoki, Tsuchiura Ryotaro, Tsukimori Len, Manami Mori, Shoko Fuyuumi, Keiichi Shimizu, Kahoko Hino, Kiriya Etou and Aoi Kaji.

Event: Birthday of the Prince of Monaco

Date: April 25

Piece: Butterfly Lovers Violin Concerto

**Practice pairs:**

Shoko Fuyuumi – Keiichi Shimizu

Kazuki Hihara - Aoi Kaji

Tsuchiura Ryotaro – Tsukimori Len

_Ah… then that is the reason of Len's anger… What a situation…_

Kiriya Etou – Kahoko Hino

_WHAT? That is sheer madness! I'm not going to practice with him! Why not with Len? We live together and I must practice with that guy? I should talk to sensei…_

_The last pair is_ Azuma Yunoki – Manami Mori

What a mess!

P.S.: We haven't decided yet on the person who will play the violin solo but the rest of you will participate in the piece. Possible candidates for the violin solo:

Tsukimori Len

Etou Kiriya

Hino Kahoko

Eh? Is he serious? How can I play a violin solo in front of the royal family in Monaco? Where's a glass? I need to drink water before I choke to death!

I'm still dazzled by the message from Kanazawa sensei… and I'm still drinking the water… when I catch a glimpse of the time…

Geez I almost forgot the meeting with Ryou!

I snatch up my coat and quickly scribble a note for Len:

_"I'll be back in two hours!"_

_Kaho_

I'm not sure if he'll read it or not, but I feel responsible and this is the best way. Should I tell him with who I met? After the announcement of the practice pairs… he'll be mad…

* * *

I inhale the cold air around me when I eye Ryou's leaning against the wall… He's lost in the sight of the sleeping, old buildings of Vienna.

"Hi there…" He greets me and grabs my hand.

"Where're we going?" Why do I have the feeling that these boys are just dragging me wherever they want? "Why men are like men?" I blurt out the question and first I didn't recognize that actually I said it out loud. Oh no… I didn't mean it…

I wrinkle my forehead and restlessly expect the detained answer from my companion. His face becomes crimson red and his air abandons his nostrils.

"Why do you ask? "…. He keeps a brief pause. "Well, if you really want to know the tough life of men, then let me guide you. First of all, our mother ordered us to stop crying when we were 3… then… she forbid us to cry again… so somehow, some men, in some situations have become emotionless. I have to add that a certain Tsukimori is not a certain case… maybe his mother had told him to stop crying even when he was a baby… see the result! " He winks. And frankly, I don't understand a word from his logic!

"Honestly, I tried to opt out of my mother's instructions and in certain cases I'm too sensitive. "

Hehe… I laugh a little bit but his words are still in deep fog…

"There we are… " He opens the door of a music store and a German man greets us with a typical 'Guten Tag…' I just bow my head. I'm not comfortable with my poor language knowledge.

Seemingly, the man knows Ryou and lets us go inside a practice room where a piano and a violin are.

"Wanna play? " He sits at the piano and presses down a C… I'm entranced by the sound of music and just cannot escape… I pick up the violin and wait for his signal.

"Here's the music sheet…" I glare at the unknown paper. I never heard about this song before. The title is _'Golden Gravity'_.

As we start playing, the first fact that I recognize is: Ryou's not playing as an accompanist. His role is on the same priority as my violin. There are interrogations, statements and exclamations between the two instruments. The piano states a sentence and then the violin questions it. The role is changing from lines to lines until the violin finishes the song with high notes of an exclamation.

It was like a gentle but powerful conversation between two friends. Wonderful!

"It was great! " No doubt that he is extremely talented.

"Yeah… same here… " He remains seated on his posture and pats the bench as a sign to sit next to him.

Without reconsideration, I do as he asks.

"I never heard this song before. Who's the composer? " My curiosity is killing me. It didn't sound something old… rather some modern elements embellished the melody.

"Hamai Misa and Tsukimori Len… the older one…" He wiggles the edge of his shirt. I just nod. I never thought that Len's parents are such splendid musicians that actually they compose songs like this. It was amazing!

He sighs. "Tell me about you… why I feel that I've seen you before…" He grabs the violin from my hand and places it on the top of the piano. "Have you attended Seiso Gakuen? "

How does he know about that high school? That is the place where…

"No, I didn't! " I state with trembling confidence.

"Weird…Never mind… Why did you end up in Vienna? I mean, you don't even speak the language properly! As I know your schedule, you took the classes mostly in English… "

Why everybody tries to dig in my past? Leave me alone!

_"Onii-chan? What's that? " _

_"I told you many times to stop calling me Onii-chan! I'm not your brother! " _

_"But…" _

_"Kaho… stop it! With crying you don't reach anything! _

_"But…" _

_"Come here… "_

**_He_**_'s a man with full of contradictions… the warmth of his embrace engulfed me whenever he closed me between his arms. But… his overwhelming possession towards me drove me crazy and just urged me to escape… just keep running away… just running away…_

* * *

"Kaho! Are you all right? You're spacing out! " Ryou disturbs the fragment of my past but _his_ face is still in my mind… "If you don't want… don't talk about it… " He bends down his head.

Maybe I can be a little bit honest with him. That would liberate my soul… just the slightest portion of my turmoil but…

"I cannot comprehend if I'm an ultimate runaway or just an escapist…" The never ending question that irks my mind…

"What are you running away from?" The question that I've feared the most is just knocking on my mind's door and I'm not ready to answer yet…

"Fate… "I pause… deep heaves and a slight blush follow my thoughts. "I felt like a bird in a golden cage…" This must be the first time when I verbalize these broken reflections of my past.

"It's not a disadvantage to try on different wings of happiness… " He smiles and pats my head.

How can I return the favor? Should I? There are still many questions about Len and why I just don't mind my own business and try to solve my problems?

See… another question without proper answer…

"Who's Sakura? " Darn it! I must sound jealous!

"Didn't he tell you? He smirks.

"Well… he was shouting her name last night… " I gulp and wait for the inevitable reply.

"She's a wonderful girl. I must say that she's close to perfectness. If I grope in the darkness, she would be my magic lantern. She is the girl who is more glamorous than the sun itself. "

His eyes are mesmerized by the never ending distance.

So she is Sakura. A perfect girl. A perfect girl for Tsukimori Len… Sakura…. She was the closest to Len. What a lucky girl!

What?

Are you nuts, Kahoko? Stop thinking of nonsense! Poor girl… I feel pity for her… being a girlfriend of an ice cube…

"She is ingenuous, impeccant, sheer and innocuous. She is wild and free… something like you! But as I can see, you're not wild and free anymore. You were… I can bet…" He winks at me.

Was I wild and free? My smile was always pure and sincere. Like an adult with the heart of a child.

Ryou knows how to be far-fetched. Basically, he repeated synonyms for innocent. But as I can see, Sakura twisted more boys around her fingers. Ryou talks about her like she is a princess, an angel or something almighty!

"Stop being jealous! Kaho… We met her 3 years ago and she was 8 years old! "

What? What?

Repeat the sentence! Please! It cannot be!

A little girl… who's really a girl! If it happened 3 years ago, and she was 8… well, you don't need cubic equation to count that Sakura is 11 years old now!

Oh My God! What a shame! Am I flushing? Of course you're Kahoko!

I feel that my head is made from iron and gravitation is pulling me closer to the ground. I'm about to hit the piano's keyboard when Ryou's strong palms support me.

...

* * *

Hi guys! First of all, Thanks for the continuous support and reviews! They make me sooo happy! Because of that I love writing this story :P

Thanks for reading and reviewing my story! **Reviews, remarks, advices also pointing out mistakes and recommendations are welcome! **

* * *

Actually, I wanted to write the Xmas chapter for Roommates, but the storyline is not that ahead so I couldn't make it. Because I still need to type like 4 more chapters until we reach Xmas in the story... sorry for that. Hopefully, you'll welcome the Christmas chapter when it's not Xmas time :D

About the poll... well I didn't receive many but I should close it today because I needed the information for this chapter. My next poll will be a little bit more interesting and hopefully, more people will participate! Who voted, I'd like to say thanks, it's well appreciated!

* * *

What do you think... is Len only angry or strange because of the 'practice pairs' ? Haha... :P

More or less you'll suffer to read one more chapter that will be a little bit gloomy or sad... and it's not the next chapter ;) The rest of the story will contain fluff and fluff and romance and humor :P I'll try my best in the humor part. Lately, I find myself writing more irony than humor haha

But as a hint, Kahoko has a very mysterious past ;)

I know that the storyline is a little bit slow, because it's like I'm writing day by day the happenings. But after we reach their new year, the happenings will be faster! This chapter is at the end of November ;) I still have 5-6 chapters until January :D

* * *

**Next chapter**: Girly morning tea, jumping, swinging and two pair of pleading eyes :P

(if you remember what will happen to Kahoko on Saturday, you'll get a little hint ;)


	11. Secret garden

_Roommates_

_Chapter 11: Secret garden_

* * *

"Shhhhhhh…." That's all you could hear through the old cobalt streets of Vienna. This sound was more than the melody of the frosty November breeze, but a half running, red headed girl's coat was softly dancing in the air.

Her ruffled bottom belted trench coat had a dusty pink color. Somehow it highlighted her crimson locks. She was wearing tight dark jeans. It was perfect combination with her 'put a lid on hat' what warmed up her head and ears.

Her silhouette briskly opened a door of a tea shop and her two friends were waiving at her direction.

"Kahoko! Here! " A pair of glistening eyes were revealed between chocolate brown, light curled locks.

"Nami! Shoko! " She exclaimed and painted her cheeks with embarrassing pink color. Her friend was really loud and the whole shop was staring at Kahoko.

Leisurely, she circled around the huge, black buttons of her pretty coat and placed the personal heater on the elbow-rest.

As a detention, she moved slowly. Her reason was Nami, the journalist, who convinced her two days ago about a breakfast and interview on Saturday morning. Frankly, she was neither in the mood nor willing to answer for Nami's inquiry.

Her mind lingered around a mysterious conversation with Ryou… too many questions and too many surprising facts disturbed her thoughts in each moment.

"Turn off! Turn off! " She menaced herself mentally.

"K a h o k o…. we ordered for you! " Shoko presented with a timid smile on her cherry lips.

"Thanks you! " Kahoko returned the small gesture and looked at the sweet and sour tea with a Mediterranean veggie sandwich.

"Now… my dear friend will answer for my questions with much pleasure, won't you Kaho? " Nami made a dull spat on the table before she pursed up her lips.

Scarlet locks curtained Kahoko's face while she checked the taste of the tea. "It's too sour… " She mused and grabbed a tea spoon and dig into the mountain of sugar. Well she thought it was sugar, but it was not!

"So Keiichi and Shoko are engaged… to be more precise… arranged engagement. But they are happy… That's what Ryoutarou said…" She was swimming deep in her thoughts when Shoko cleared her throat.

"Kahoko… Why are you putting salt into your tea? " The timid girl giggled softly at the sight of her friend's mistake.

"Waaahhhh? " Kahoko shouted and pushed back the salt. "Hehe…that's how I drunk the tea in the US… " She was more than abashed…. She only wished to be buried alive or search for a huge stone and hide behind it… How could she mix salt with sugar? They have different texture…

"By the way… you can start with your living in New York… " Nami stretched her fingers and eagerly glared at her companion. Her right hand was busy with a pen while the other one was holding a small notebook.

"I want to run away so distractedly… " She screamed in her brain… but she remained on her seat and took a tiny bite from the sandwich. She struggled to mitigate the storm in her mind and sweep out the unnecessary thoughts like Ryou, Azuma, Kazuki, Len and Seiso Academy…

"Neh.. Nami… why didn't you tell me that you know Azuma, Ryou, Kazuki and Len? " She threw back the ball to Nami with an innocent question.

"Hn… not just them, but also Shoko and Keiichi. We are all from Seiso Academy… " She sipped a little from her coffee. "Shoko and Keiichi graduated 2 years earlier than Azuma, Kazuki and I. Then the next year was for Ryou and Len… " She scribbled something on a white page in the notebook.

Kahoko just nodded. But in a fast pace, she remembered another question that bothered her.

"Why are you in Vienna, Nami? There are better universities in Europe for journalism." The question was logical. But she feared that the merciless journalist would ask the same from her. She trembled by the thought of the witty question.

"She's following her childhood love… " Shoko vouched with calmness in her voice. Probably she needed lots of time to prepare her voice to sound so peaceful because her face informed the opposite.

"Who can it be…? " Kahoko searched for the answer and only four names entered her mind: Kazuki, Azuma, Ryou and Len… Len… Secretly she hoped that it's not him.

"Yeah… Shoko has right. I just cannot let him go wherever he wishes. He stole my heart, I intend to steal his last name! " She snickered and glued her eyes on Kahoko. "It's so dowie that actually affair is a kind of hobby for men…" She didn't seem to be sad, rather determined and self-conscious.

Kahoko wrinkled her eyebrows and heaved. She was not sure what to respond. She didn't have any experience with men. But she believed that if men are in love, they are loyal to women.

"What kind of man is your type, Kahoko? " Nami winked and scribbled again something illegible. Today, she and God can read it, but later on only God!

"Ano… " Kahoko fiddled her fingers…"Hmmm…. sincerity and loyalty are very significant for me. Besides these attributes I'm looking for someone who understands, cares for me and reliable… also he gives attention to me and he's omnipatient. He respects me no matter what! And don't forget to be nice and kind… " She took a deep breath after the listing and witnessed the surprise in her friends' eyes.

Nami was writing each word quickly then held Kahoko's glance for some seconds.

"So your expectations are too high. But it's not bad. " Nami drew an X with her arms around her chest. "But it's not Tsukimori Len… he doesn't meet either the 10 percent of your list…" Now Nami turned her head to Shoko and left out an evil smile.

"Eh, Shoko… what do you love in Keiichi? " The small girl was startled by the sudden direct question but she overcame the obstacle.

"I… I know that _he loves me_, and… this is _more than enough_. " She bent down her head and wished to have longer hair and hide behind it.

"That's the point! " Nami clapped. "If you love someone and he returns the feeling, you just accept him with his mistakes and slowly he will change for you! " The journalist sighed and averted her face back to the red head.

Kahoko was more than pleased because they didn't talk about her personal life or about New York or London. And God knows how Nami dig up those data about her! "Just keep up the jangles! Keep it up! " She prayed, almost pressing her palms against each other when Nami asked something unpleasant.

"Now, back to the main topic… When did you live in New York and why? "

Kahoko sweat dropped and felt the rushing blood in her veins. She was about to explode when her cell phone was ringing.

"Sorry… " She smiled in victory at Nami who heaved in defeat.

A short message was shown on her cell phone screen:

_'A taxi is waiting for you in front of the tea shop! We can't wait to see you! Aoi'_

"I'm sorry girls, I should go now! " She snatched up her purse and placed money on the table.

"Neh… Kahoko, we haven't finished our interview! " Nami's eyes glistened beseechingly. But the said girl didn't care much. She misused the situation and ran for it!

She was already in the door waving to Shoko and Nami when the two friends noticed her absence.

* * *

The so called mansion was not a mansion or not even close to it. It was a smaller family house only in a sophisticated way… Kahoko liked the idea of the miniature mansion.

"There you are! " Aoi greeted the tiny girl in their spacious and bright living room.

"Aoi! She smiled with all her heart and suddenly she forgot about problems and questions.

"You promised me a call when she arrives…" And here came Etou Kiriya in full of equestrian clothing. Kahoko starred at the handsome male in front of her from head to toe. He was wearing a black helmet with a light grey trench coat, tight khaki pants with knee long black boots.

Unconsciously, she gulped…

"Kiriya! Stop posing in front of her! " Aoi chuckled and patted his cousin's shoulder. "Would you mind to make company to Kiriya until I finish our lunch? " He smiled back at the still astonished girl.

"You mean, horse riding? " Kahoko knew exactly what the straw blonde guy was talking about. She was not sure if she wanted to go or not.

"That's not a question! " Kiriya grabbed Kahoko's hands and pulled her to a room. "Here! You don't need to change your sweater. Only the pants, boots, coat and put on the helmet!" He was pointing on the bed where the previously mentioned clothes were lying.

Kiriya was still standing at the door, supporting himself with his left hand on the wall and with radiant sparkles in his orbs, he eyed Kahoko's each move.

"Would you mind to go out? I'd like to change! " She pursed up her lips and took off her coat.

"I thought you give me a free show…" He turned around his heels and shut the door.

"I don't care if he's mad or disappointed… " She heaved and changed her clothes, besides the sweater, which had a creamy color and one shoulder was off.

She held up her long, amaranth locks into a tidy pony tail with a hairclip and picked up the dark helmet.

Nobody asked her if she knew horse riding but actually, she did.

"You look great! " Aoi remarked and his eyes gazed the tiny girl.

She tried to hide her back so badly with the coat but actually it was a little bit short.

"That's my sister's coat… she's 14… but we don't have any more coats. " Kiriya apologized for the size difference as he watched Kahoko pulling down the non stretch material.

"Don't have much fun without me! " Aoi exclaimed with fear in his eyes but he had task to do. He should cook the lunch because they didn't have maids for the weekend.

"You can bet! " Kiriya showed his most mischievous wink at Aoi and helped Kahoko up on a beautiful brown horse. "Just follow me, my tempo will be slow. " He looked at the girl besides him.

He had right. They were slowly but surely discovered the late autumn landscape around the tiny mansion and Kahoko enjoyed the sun's last livid rays.

The breeze was almost freezing on her naked neck but somehow it felt pleasant.

"Let's rest there! " He pointed at an abandoned huge oak tree. The leaves were dried and colorful under it.

She nodded and followed Kiriya.

Kahoko lifted her head up to keep the gaze with the clean blue sky when the boy next to her handed over a thermos flask with a box of cookies.

"As I promised: chocolate chip cookies. Ah and this is for chocolate lovers! " He winked. "It has more chocolate in it just to deepen the sin! " He smirked at the girl who was clueless what kind of sin he was talking about.

But she opened the thermos flask and tasted the liquid in it. She would have sworn that the content was milk. Instead of the expected cold milk she found something smooth and hot. It was creamy and very sweet.

"It's caramel milk… Do you like it? " He stepped closer to Kahoko.

"Caramel milk? " She mused but continued drinking it.

"I also put vanilla extract in it, and whipped cream… that's why it tastes better. "

"It's really delicious! " This time she bit from the cookie.

She was not aware of the situation that a tiny portion of cream remained silent on the corner of her lips, but the maroon haired guy eyed the lonely cream and intended to remove it.

"Be still! " He took another step and leisurely, he placed his lips at the corner of Kahoko's and licked away the cream.

"What have you done? "

Kahoko demanded with red lobster cheeks. She didn't know what was going on. She just witnessed Kiriya was getting closer and closer to her face. She thought that maybe a spider was on her face but actually, she didn't feel any tickling sensation on her skin. But when the boy licked his lips then turned to hers, she was shell-shocked. The only thing she could have thought of was: LEN! Why? She didn't disturb herself with answers but she felt that she betrayed her beloved roommate. "I'm not his girlfriend! " She muttered in her mind and swept out the unnecessary thought and struggled to focus on Kiriya's lips. "No! Kahoko! No! It's forbidden!" She chastised herself. "Who said that it's forbidden? He is single… you are single… SHUT UP! Idiot voice! "

"Kahoko! Are you all right? Your face is so red! Do you know how to breathe or should I give you artificial respiration? " He giggled at the sight of a very embarrassed Kahoko.

Her pupil almost covered her golden orbs. They were wide open and glared at Kiriya suspiciously.

"By the way, how was your complain to Kanazawa sensei? Did you attain your goal? " He leaned closer to Kahoko and deepened her blush.

"He…" Her voice was trembling. "He said that the practice pairs are final… and that…. The complaining department is closed! " She managed to finish the sentence but her eyes were still locked within the guy's glance.

"Ah… I see… well it looks that we should practice together! " Kiriya stated with much confidence in his tone.

"Yeah… I don't understand…" She didn't know what to respond. Her wish was to have Len as a practice partner but the teacher's words were ultimate.

"In this way I can get to know you better… my _black widow_! " He teased her by pulling out her hair clip.

"How did you call me? " Now she was angry!

"Ah… nothing… Forget it… You know, it's hard for me to fall in love and it's even harder to keep being in love…I guess it's different with you…" He was leaning closer to her face when a blonde prince on white horse arrived and disturbed the 'almost kiss'.

"I told you to not have fun without me! " Aoi insisted and smiled at Kahoko who was still under the effect of Kiriya's soft lips on her skin.

Kahoko fancied Aoi in shining silver armor and decided that Aoi would have been the best prince of every girl's dream. She mentally shook her head and finally reached the ground of reality when she was sitting on the horse again and let the frosty air caress her burning face.

Docilely, she followed the two young men to a secret passage, which was under grape trellis. The blue grapes were ready to taste and Kahoko caught some of them.

"It's sweet! " She smiled when Aoi did the same and tasted the luscious fruit on his tongue.

At the end of the passage, a wooden door awaited them. Kiriya had a silver key and opened it.

It was a rose garden with two huge willow trees and a taciturn swing was hanging from one of the branches.

"The roses are almost frozen… " Aoi heaved and caressed a white petal.

"This is my sister's favorite! " Kiriya stated and sat on the swing. "Stop moping Kahoko! Come here and have fun! " He continued.

"I'm not moping…" Kahoko laughed and stopped glaring at the breath taking garden.

She sat on the swing and let the boys push her. Aoi was standing at her front while Etou was at her back.

The breeze twined her crimson hair and asked for a lento dance. Her nose was tickled by the sweet scent of the roses. She didn't even dare to count how many colors or breeds she saw: short, tall and rose bushes; pink, yellow, white, red, green and orange. But these were only the common types that she knew.

At the trunk of the willow tree, colorful leaves were collected and casually, they were riding on the back of the wind.

For a moment she thought she was flying… the wind was rimed and became strong during her swinging.

Aoi pushed the girl by her knees and Etou gave gentle pushes by her back. She had to admit that she enjoyed the situation.

A cell phone ring disturb the idyllic moment. It was Kiriya's phone.

"Excuse me…" He left the two of them and suddenly, Aoi gave a hard push and Kahoko lost her balance and landed on the green eyed boy. He was lying in the leaf bed under the willow tree.

Both were laughing hard. She felt joyful tears were nipping down on her silky skin.

"Did I hurt you? " She inquired Aoi with much care but still giggling in the process.

"No way! You're lighter than a feather! " He rubbed her shoulders. She didn't even discover that she took off the coat and she was only in her sweater.

His hands were chilly on her bare skin and she shivered.

"Sorry! My hands are cold…" He removed his fingers from her skin. But he had a better idea. "Let me make it up to you… " He lifted up his head and whispered a tiny kiss on her revealed shoulder.

Now she was shaking again. His lips had the same temperature as his fingers but she sensed something extremely hot running through her veins and a name screamed in her mind again: LEN!

"Eh… you can have fun without me, but I can't? " Kiriya was leaning against the wood door and smirked at the direction of a lying couple.

Kahoko finally noticed their position and jerked back as fast as she could.

"She's my _Loreley_… " Aoi mused as he helped Kahoko to stand up.

"Loreley… ? " She ransacked her mind for the meaning of the name or expression? She was not sure but she remembered that it's a name after all, coming from some German legend of a singing woman.

"The only difference between you and she…that Loreley was singing, and that's how she allured men to death… " He put on a content smile as Kahoko was shocked for the umpteenth time on this 'peaceful' Saturday.

"You're making this tempting voice with your violin… " Kiriya completed Aoi's sentence.

"Never mind… " Aoi smiled again and grabbed Kahoko's left hand. Kiriya went on their other side and held the girl's right hand. "Let's go to eat…"

Silence surrounded them while they dined, only some stolen glances were seen between the two young men and Kahoko.

"The chef is in love…" Kiriya giggled and looked at Aoi.

"Why? " Kahoko was puzzled and didn't comprehend the statement.

"Because he put more salt into the food than it's needed…" Kiriya wiped his mouth with a white napkin.

"I think it's perfect…"Kahoko festooned her lips with a timid smile and defended Aoi.

* * *

Kahoko was about to call for a taxi. It was a little bit late for her. It was only 6 pm but she didn't want Len to think badly of her.

"Kahoko… you should stay here for the night. According to the weather forecast, there'll be a snow storm…" Aoi stated with a worried expression on his face.

"I can share my bed with you…" Etou stepped closer to the girl.

What would Len think of her if she had stayed overnight with two men? That's not acceptable for a lady to spend the night with two men… probably nothing would happen, but just the thought of it… Brrr…. She was shaking.

A soft knock on the door helped her to forget about idiot questions. After all, Len was only her roommate, nothing more or nothing less…

Aoi didn't ask who was the person standing at the other side of the door, just opened it ajar.

For everyone's surprise, a vivid blue haired young man was leaning against the wall and a taxi was waiting in front of the house.

Len didn't say hi or greet properly the two men; he just rushed to the strawberry girl and gently touched her fingers with his.

"This is the last taxi I could catch before the storm. Let's go home! Kahoko! "

* * *

Thanks for reading! It's well appreciated! Please don't forget to review ;)

**HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!** I wanted to post xmas and new years chapter for Roommates but you should wait like 3 more chapters until we reach the holidays in my story. Hope you don't mind reading Kahoko-Len's xmas not in xmas time :P

* * *

I know I know... I always say this but **MILLION THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!** I'll answer back in PM tomorrow ;) You give me so much strength to continue this story! I enjoy myself so much while I'm writing and this is because of the reviews! Thank you!

* * *

Sorry, this chapter is a GENERAL POV. Why? Because I'm mad at Kahoko and Len :D I wanted to be out of their minds for 1 chapter. Sorry if you didn't like it much! Probably this is the only chapter in general POV.

* * *

My warning: This is a story about Len and Kahoko, but that doesn't mean the rest of the LCDO guys don't try! :D I hope you know what I mean ;)

* * *

About Loreley, she is from a folklore. She tempted sailors by her voice and allured them into death. You can google it :D Note: Kiriya called her black widow while Aoi Loreley :D What a difference :P Somehow I like both of them :D

About the secret garden... when I was little, like 4-5... my grandfather had a beautiful garden with full of flowers and fruits. He also maintained grape trellis and I enjoyed running under it. The best was that grapes were growing from August until late November. (mainly the dark blue grapes). I also had a swing in the garden and when I was little I couldn't push myself and my grandfather helped me. Well... thinking back, I would have enjoyed two handsome men pushing me in the garden :D

This chapter was almost without Len... but somehow I already forgave him for being so lame and didn't kiss Kahoko in the previous chapters... so how did you like his sudden interruption at the end of the chapter? :D

**Jiyu22**: HAha, well I guess when a woman is in love, she can see the guy in pink cloud and probably discovering his fresh lemon perfume is normal :P But yeah sometimes he is too much. About the OOC... I'm struggling to not put him as OOC, but when he has his POV is hard, because we don't know his thinking way and I should tell to everyone that sooner or later he will melt! :D ANd his thoughts... well his thoughts are his thoughts. I'm sorry if the OOC-ness was not for your liking. I'm working on it next time harder! Other reviewers said that he was not OOC, you said that he was OOC :D I'm clueless :D

* * *

**Next chapter**: 'CANDYLESS' (99% pure Kaho and Len moments... fluff fluff fluff ) :D


	12. Candyless!

**Roommates**

**Chapter 12: Candyless!**

* * *

Sure it is the evident pitfall of being man. I cannot accuse anything else just this fact. My abnormal behavior is unacceptable in the last few weeks.

She's just like a well-wrought figurine on a fountain, standing in the foyer of my heart. Slowly, she dribbles some water droplets around the place and unperceivable for me, those sneaky drops have fissured the thick door of my heart… Is it my heart? Or just my mind? Maybe… it caused chemistry?

Grrrr… another mistake! How could I play there a G instead of C? What an unacceptable error! I must be tired.

But…

Frankly, what did I think when I went after her to the Kaji mansion a week ago? I must have been stark mad! It was not my business.

OK…

I have to admit…

Yeah just say it! It's enough in your mind, Tsukimori Len!

I was worried…

But nothing else!

She could have been caught in that frantic snow storm…

What else… sure, it is one reason but there is another feeling that you MUST acknowledge!

Bah… another note is played wrong! How can I pay attention on practice while I have too much in mind! I was never like this before…

I lower the bow in my hand and gaze out of my window…

Was I jealous?

I guess I don't need to answer. She spent the whole day with those two… and God knows what happened. And I didn't want to let the wolves surround the lamb…

This sensation is just mere protection! She is a clueless, innocent girl who doesn't comprehend the lust in males' eyes.

I'm not sure if I intend to deny…

I'm not aware of the never fading turmoil of my senses…

I'm not trying to convince myself…

But there's one thing that I'm more than sure: _Something is changing_…

Maybe this change is around me or inside of me… slowly but surely, this change engulfs me.

The words and senses in my mind are like glowing embers and sooner or later they will light a flame… but what kind of flame will it be?

Never mind! I had enough thoughts for a lifetime! I should go and drink a glass of water or just stand outside and let my body cool down under the pure snowflakes.

I feel a twinge in my temples… it must be the drastically changing weather.

I trudge to the kitchen and get a glass with refreshing mineral water. I gulp the liquid and almost shout when I stare at Kahoko.

"What is she doing there? "

My roommate's eyes are glued to the window. She's gazing at the soft, white natural blanket on the ground. Her dreamy, golden eyes are dazzled by the glamorous landscape. She heaves on the chilly crystal window and produces transparent vapor on it. She graces her lips with a content smile and draws a G clef on it.

Her other hand is lazily resting next to her body. Under her legs, there're a pair of boots and a derelict sponge!

What?

I step closer to her moony shadow and witness how the G clef is melting down on the window.

"I heard you played the first part of the 'Butterfly lovers'… It was splendid! " The window helps me to catch secretly her coy smile.

"Hn…" I respond but actually, my playing was full with mistakes. I, the perfect Tsukimori Len, produced several errors in such a short passage. But I cannot conflict with her statement. I would not be myself if I have done that. She liked it… then it's all right.

Kahoko lifts her head down and reaches for the boots and the sponge. What will she do with those things?

"Will you clean your boots? " She begins polishing the black leather.

"Why would I do that? " I don't have a single clue for what…

"You know the custom here… Tomorrow is the 6th of December. Children clean their boots and leave them in the windows. Santa Claus comes during the night and fills the boots with candy. Of course, only clean boots receive candy! " She snickers and diligently continues cleaning the boots.

"Kahoko… that tale is for small children… " I sigh… well… I know she doesn't believe in the Santa Claus story but probably, she expects candy…

"I can clean your boots…" She stands up but I block her way.

"That's not necessary! " I hope I didn't sound too harsh… I'm just not in the mood for a nonsense fight…

Out of the blue, she grabs the glass and takes it away from me…

"I'm thirsty… " Just great… since when we've become more personal with each other? I don't remember on eating or drinking after her. Probably, _I would never do that_!

* * *

Surprisingly, Kahoko was already gone at the morning. She left a note under a musical note shaped fridge magnet.

"I have to go shopping early! Breakfast is on the table! K "

I'm about to put on my boots when I can't fit in it… what the…? I bend down and take out a red plastic bag…

I open it and find candy in it. It's 'Katjes' yoghurt-gums. I tear the bag and taste one… then more. Actually, they are delicious. The white and the yellow ones are a little bit sour, the pink colored gums are sweeter but it's still acceptable.

The whole day was spent with exchanging candies between students. I correct, Kahoko was exchanging candies with Kazuki, Ryou, Azuma, Kaji, Etou, Amou, Shoko and Keiichi. I didn't bother myself with unreasonable deeds like giving candy and chocolate. But Kahoko seemed to be in a halcyon mood.

I felt so ashamed that actually I didn't buy anything for her. But I should reconsider buying something for Kahoko because she didn't eat anything else besides candy and candy all day long.

So when I came to the store, I bought sugar free oat meal cookies for her. With milk, it's still a good source of 'candy'…

"I know it's kind of late… " I hand over a red bag to her and excitedly, she opens and glares at the content of it.

"Sugar free oat meal cookies? " I can bet that her smile is forced! She didn't expect this… "You're really considerate of my sugar blood level! " She stands on her tiptoes and presses her lips on my left cheek. "Thank you! " She dances out of the living room and approaches the kitchen.

I know this sign… food is ready… But why she doesn't eat? I saw her finishing a box of Belgian shell bonbon and started opening a box of Toffifee…

"Will you eat dinner? " I question her while she's nibbling on a piece of chocolate.

She shakes her head from right to left… "Nope… I'm full… " She happily goes back to the candy and continues tasting more types. "European candies are so delicious! " She remarks and opens another box.

"OK… that's enough! " I stand up and grab the boxes from the table. "I confiscate these candies! When you eat properly, I'll grant you with a piece of chocolate! "

"Nooooooooo…" She cries out and like a little girl, stomps with her legs.

"Go to your room and don't spy on me! I'll hide these candies before your sugar blood level will reach the skies! "

"Nooooooooooo…" She insists but I cannot let her eat all the candies she's received today!

After five minutes of tantrum she gives up and retreats to her room. She shuts the door hard… just showing her anger against me. I don't care. I just couldn't watch her eating candy all day long! It's not healthy!

I should hide them somewhere… somewhere she can't reach… got it!

"Are you still mad at me? " Like if I care… it's for her own good…

She doesn't answer… just pursing up her lips and reading the music sheet…

"OK… then don't talk to me! Good night! "

She sniffles but she doesn't affect me… I just go to my room and hop in my soft bed.

I muddle my thoughts again as I place my palms under my pillow… I still can't believe that actually I almost kissed Kahoko some days ago… that night was crazy… I had nightmares… I was swimming in sweat and I had heated up emotions which is not normal for me.

Then the next morning… I slept on the sofa… with Kahoko! You're an idiot, Len!

After that, the pianist pissed me off. He irked me so badly… mainly when I got to see the practice pairs. I was seething with anger and my attempt was barren of results with Kanazawa sensei. I could have complained as much as I could… and he didn't listen to me.

On the other hand… there were two more things that made me angry… why Kahoko is paired up with that guy? Etou… strange…

It would be so easy to be paired up with Kahoko. We are roommates and we have time to practice…

Ah… the last fact is Azuma… why did he go after Kahoko and offer his help in cooking? He was always weird in my eyes… but I knew one thing: I couldn't stand the matter that he was alone with Kahoko in the kitchen, behind closed doors!

Brrrr…. I shiver… but I should stop thinking of inappropriate matters that can affect my playing and practice. My focus must be on music.

I'm undeterred with an idea… that _I will recommend Kahoko to search for another roommate because I'm not aware of my limits_…

She jumbles my thoughts, my thinking way… she mingles the heat of my body… when I suppose to feel cold, why do I sense hotness in my blood? It sets ablaze without any warning and I just whimper deep inside of me. I only believe in blunt, logical facts… emotions are insignificant and not needed. My knowledge is poor about physical affection towards a woman but something has awakened in me… and I should minify these nonsense emotions before it's too late.

What was that noise just now?

Ah… that's Kahoko… I have very sharp ears and she thinks that I don't hear her small tiptoes on the bare floor?

I slip forward my feet… very slowly… I'm sure that she pays more attention on making less noise than discover me behind her!

She's wearing long, light white pants, black colored cat paws are painted on it. Also, she has a white jacket with front zipper and a huge hood.

"Where are you going? " I catch her hood and I feel her shaking muscles.

"Darn it! You scared me! " She turns her head back and spy into my eyes. I wish I could scribble a dictionary of the feelings in her eyes…

A: Astonished… of catching me behind her, lurking above her faint shadow in the murky corridor.

B: Bemused…

C: Cabalistic… she's still my biggest enigma…

D: Dagger… I mean she's looking dagger at me!

E: Eager-eyed

F: Fragmentized eyes… an enormous disappointment is sneaking in that glint of her eyes.

G: Gelation… in her posture…

H: Ham-fisted… she's aware of her clumsiness. I know she tried her best to slyly approach the kitchen and find the hidden treasure but she failed during the process.

I: Imbibe… Her orbs imbibe mines…

J: Jittery

K: Key-ring… Her eyes are shaped for a key-ring…

L: Labile

M: Mesmerized

N: Nebula… this is the concealed fact in her eyes that I cannot comprehend…

O: Omission… what does she omit? What is she hiding?

P: Pensive

Q: Queenly… why does she have the power to be so almighty over my soul?

R: Riddle… another mysterious gleam…

S: Suasion… stop being omnipotent!

T: Tangled skein… confused… still confused… but she's not the only one who's baffled.

U: Ultimatum… Why doesn't she pronounce it? Just say out loud that she wants the candy!

V: Viewiness… I've never seen anyone else who's so obsessed with candy…

W: Wacky… what else she'll do in order to get what she wants?

X: X… she's drawing an X with her index and middle fingers…

Y: Yearning desire… What kind of longing? Is it just the candy?

Z: Zealous

Actually, all of these are written in her eyes, on her face and shown by her posture. My pragmatic thinking way cannot think of anything else, just to unravel her soul and her mind…

"If you were searching for the candies…" I share my best guess, which is not a guess, it is a fact!

"Ah… no way…" She giggles and I pull her closer to me with the hood.

"Stay still! " I hug the tiny girl around her waist and breathe in her scent… she's changed her shower gel… This time she used vanilla.

I can sense her heart, joining in an endless marathon with mine. It's beating so fast that I can hardly catch up with her.

It's pleasant…

It's peaceful… yet I should smite my head mentally and let her go…

"Go back to sleep…" I turn around my heel and hurry back to my warm bed.

I couldn't think that Kahoko would be so sneaky and try to find chocolates. But it's no use. I'm not gonna give her the candy! No matter what!

* * *

Only half an hour has elapsed when I hear her footsteps again…

This time I let her enter the kitchen but I meander after her and stand between the wall and the fridge. The door of the fridge is opened and she doesn't see me.

When she closes the door of it, she is startled again and screams. Very loud!

"Geez… you scared me again! " She complains.

"Sorry, but you can search as hard as you can… you'll never find the candies…" I look into her eyes with a stony expression. I draw an X across my chest with my arms. My skeptical look lingers on her untamed face…

"I was not searching for candy… I wanted to drink milk…" She protests and grabs a glass as fast as she can and pours milk into it. She flicks the glass with her index finger. "See? "

"You're barren of ideas…" I leave her again… alone in the kitchen. Somehow I feel guilty. She struggles so hard to seek for a piece of chocolate but I can't… I just can't give it to her…

I was always heart-free… nothing could enter my simple mind. I'm logical and I don't give ovation to anything else besides music and violin. I was wrong… Why do I feel that she's knocking on my heart's door? She cannot enter… I can't let her do it… then why? Why? Why do I have this urge? Is it really chemistry? Or more?

I was deep in my slumber when I heard a crack on the floor. A brisk silhouette is passing by and opens one of my cabinets.

I can't believe this! She burst into my room! Did she forget about my rules? What's the time?

With half opened eyes, I glare at the digital watch on my desk… it shows 2:23 am…

This is disconcerting!

It's good that tomorrow is Saturday but she's not gonna spike my guns! I have a schedule for Saturdays: wake up at 6:30, then swimming and spend the rest of the day with practice. But lately I can't get enough sleep because of a certain red head in my mind!

I heave desperately and wish to be alone! Get some rest because today was grueling but no, I can't… why? Because… Kahoko is seeking for her candies. But it's my fault… I hid them…

I hear another crack on the floor and a dull noise… then something heavy lands on my limp body. It was unexpected but she fell over something and jumped on my bed.

I'm shivering and I know she does the same… I'd like to draw a new dictionary now and discover what her mind is occupied with… but it's unnecessary. It's simple… she fears me. And she has all the reason…

"I'm sorry… I'm just…" Kahoko tweets shyly and rolls next to me. Her eyes look up to meet the darkness in my room. I do the same and place my hands under my pillow again.

"So desperate? " I finish her sentence…

"Yes…" She brandishes her arms in the air, just like a feather is flying in front of my bare eyes. Dancing with her white fingers in the blurry remoteness… I discover that her eyes are bedimmed with tears.

"With crying you don't reach anything…" I sigh and keep starring at the nothingness.

"_I'm a woman so I don't state what I want. But! I keep the right to throw a tantrum if I don't get it!_ " Now she wipes away some stray diamonds with the ball of her wrists.

"So it's still about the candy? Just say it! " I can't believe that actually I made her cry because of freaking candies! But she's just like a child… I don't find any other word to describe her behavior.

"You're impervious to reasons… " I can hear the sneering tinkle in her voice. Is this how she thinks of me?

"Try me…" Why did I say something like this? But for my fortune, she is wobbly with her reply.

"I don't find any sense in that…" Now her voice is played with a little mischief. I'm glad that her mirth is coming back little by little. Hopefully, she'll forget about the candy.

But it's still dowie…

Anyway…

What's dowie for me?

I have been spacing out for some seconds and I let my guards down. When I look around again, Kahoko's face is mere inches away from mine.

Her minty breath tickles my left cheek. Her respiration is fast paced, in spite of the fact that the mint is chilly; it feels rather blazing on my skin.

"Here! " She reaches for my lips and pushes a yoghurt gum into my mouth. It was so sudden, I felt I could choke! "Doesn't it sweet? You only left in the bag the pink ones… "

What can I respond?

"The candy is not in my room… " That's all I can tell her.

"Can we play a 'hot and cold' game? " She insists and widens her golden eyes.

"I don't know such a game…" True… never heard about it.

"It's easy. You guide me with the words 'hot' if I'm close to the candy and 'cold' when I'm far from it. " She giggles and sits up on my bed.

"Kahoko…It's almost 3 am…" I just want to sleep… She makes me writhe!

"Oh… sorry… " She wriggles off my bed and lands on her feet. "Good night…" The sadness in her voice is tangible. I guess I can't sleep with guilty conscious.

"With one condition! " I surrender… what an idiot I am!

"Anything! " She dances around her heels.

"You'll eat properly, full with nutrition! " That's reasonable, doesn't it?

"OK…" She runs to me and grabs my hands. "Let's go then! " She snickers again with joyful sparkles in her eyes.

Kahoko is so thin-skinned… and her frame of mind is changing drastically.

* * *

"Cold…" I state for third time in the living room when she's going back and forth between the two sofas.

"Grrr… then where is it? I tried in every place that I can reach! And it's not fair if you hid the candy in a spot that I cannot reach…" She purses up her lips.

"They are reachable for you, too! " Of course they are… If she would use a chair… "Actually, there… is getting warmer…" Her eyes are lit up and she's circumspect with the area.

She opens the crystal wall of the standing cupboard which is full with CDs and DVDs.

"It's warmer again…" How did she find that place?

"Yessssssssssssss" She exclaims and tightens her grip around a single chocolate bar. Without patience she tears the wrapping and steps closer to me.

Kahoko takes a bite from the candy and then pushes it to my face.

"It is sugar free… and it only has almond in it…" Poor girl, after all the searching, she found a diet candy. It's not my fault. I had good intentions.

I flinch but the candy bar doesn't coax my taste. I can't turn her down, unless I want her to cry again… so _leaving behind all the possibilities, I bite a tiny piece from the chocolate_. (Try not to think about my previous statement that I would never eat after her!)

But it was worth… because I witnessed the purest and the most beautiful smile that I've ever seen in my life… and it was Kahoko's smile… and this smile was addressed to ME!

A crazy idea has crossed my mind: I give her another candy… but I can't spoil my roommate! She would get used to it quickly.

"Thank you! Thank you for the candy and for that precious, wry smile that you just beamed out…" She's on her tiptoes. Her lips are forming the sweet sentence so close to my ear and I sense the rushing blood in my veins.

_Stop causing this feeling in me! _

I am a man and I can't resist… A touch is not going to bite, isn't it?

I lift up my hand and caress her pinky cheek. I try to force myself back from further action and I turn around as fast as I can.

"Good night! " I bit my good bye for the day, or for the night… or for the dawn… and finally… return to my calling bed.

* * *

The morning is normal… nothing special… besides the breakfast and besides the fact that Kahoko is eating up 3 egg sunny side up with toast, fried sausages and hot tea… talking about nutrition…

But of course, idyllic situation exists for the possibility of getting interrupted so that's why I say that ceaseless mirth doesn't have place in my mind.

And here comes the doorbell…

Ding dong…

"I'll take it… " Kahoko stands up and walks to the door. "Hi… what're you doing here? Come in! " She invites in the 'guests'… this is a bad sign.

"Len! Come here! " And she's calling for me… worse sign!

And!

And!

WORST CASE SCENARIO!

Two green heads are in my living room with 4 huge, HUGE, luggages!

* * *

**Million thanks for reading and for the reviews! They always make me so happy! **

* * *

OK... now about the chapter: Before you judge me that Len is OOC, let me warn you that just consider his conversations with Kahoko because in those ones he's still cold ;) And, what's in his mind... well... it's dense... and it's confused. As you can see he's pondering and changing and trying to deny things but... it's still him ;) So I'm sorry if you feel him OOC, I tried my best to keep his character and I believe that he's still the stoic Tsukimori Len if he's about to open his mouth!

* * *

About the candy names, they all exist and they are very delicious :D And actually, I didn't lie in the title: Candyless :D (By the way, I never lie with the titles ;)

**Ah, I hope I didn't bore you with the Alphabet ;) Frankly, I worked hard on that part ;) And if there's something unclear in that part, don't hesitate to ask ;)**

* * *

So it's revealed why Len was angry... he had 3 reasons: pairing up with Ryou, Kahoko-Etou pairing and Azuma was in the kitchen with Kahoko... don't you think that he's jealous? :D

* * *

**I have a new poll :D Hopefully it will be more popular than my previous one. The question is about who will play the violin solo with the Butterfly Lover's for the Prince of Monaco. That will be almost the last chapter of my story so you'll have time for the poll cos it will be opened until like March :D**

* * *

**Next chapter: Tagging along!**

-two new roommates (temporary)

-I'll try my best to make it a very funny chapter

-there'll be jealousy ;) much more than right now :P

-there'll be a guy talk (we had girl talk so now it's time for guy talk)

-and... a tiny fragment from Kahoko's past ;)


	13. Tagging along

**Roommates**

**Chapter 13: Tagging along**

* * *

So here I stand… in my spacious living room.

On my left side, Kahoko is starring at the two unwanted guests and on my rightmost side… two green heads are growing roots in my floor and making scratches in it with pulling the luggages around.

Irking is creeping upon me…

Should I ask why they are in my house? Normally, I don't express my thoughts on my face but this time I miserably fail in this task…

"Len… " Kahoko doesn't know what to say… but she feels the heavy air around us.

Silence engulfs us but Kazuki -like always- has the courage to talk.

"Len… we have a major problem…" My only dear friend… Kazuki Hihara opens his mouth and forms some words which maybe will change my mind and think that actually, I don't have friends at all!

I stand stock-still and I'm the owner of this apartment but I'm not the one who talks! Why is it like that?

"What's the problem? " Kahoko questions them cheerfully.

"Eh… ano… we forgot to pay the rent and we're kicked out now… " I understand… but I don't accept it!

"OK… then I pay for your rent or for a hotel…" I avert my direction to my room and I think forward where I left my valet.

"Len… our room is already occupied and we just need a place until we go for the trip to France. " Kazuki finishes the sentence.

"Through my dead body! " I turn around and approach the door to open it.

"Len… they are our friends and they need help!" She looks into my face but I shut my eyes. It's not gonna happen! Our trip to France is in 10 days. I can't stand 5 minutes with the pianist, not 10 days! That's like suicide!

"Pretty please! Anyway I also live here and I have 3 conditions! " She jumps up a feet high and places her hands behind her back… _"Len, you must call him Ryou"_ She's pointing at the pianist, what? _"Ryou, you must call the owner Len"_ Now she is aiming to me with her slim index finger. "And the last condition is very simple: _NO FIGHTS_! "

"Kazuki, let's go somewhere else…" The annoying pianist springs the statement to Kazuki.

"Ryou… Azuma doesn't have space and here we can sleep on the sofa because this house has only 2 rooms but the living room is very big! " My friend heaves in desperation and Kahoko's expression is also annoying because now she puts on the typical pleading, puppy eyes. Not just me, but either the pianist can't turn her down.

"Fine…" Tsuchiura says with a deep sigh.

"I'm going to the swimming pool…" It's a good idea. I'll spend the minimum time in my house in the following days. I'll just go home for sleeping. Splendid! Or I just sleep in a hotel! Much better!

"Len… You just came back from swimming…" Kahoko whispers the truth. But I've known that already! Yes, I just arrived not long time ago… but I don't care.

"I want to swim…" She doesn't protests, but a green topped tower shadows my way out.

"Where are you escaping? Tsukimori! " The pianist blocks my way.

"If I know well, this is my house and be grateful for Kahoko to fight for you… now if you excuse me…" What the heck does he think? He's in no condition to complain.

"Let's practice a little… I guess you have a piano in your room…"

I look around and he knows how to convince me. He only should say the three magic words: practice, violin and music. At least I can practice with him… I don't like it but during we are playing, he will shut up and stop pestering me.

As I can see, Kahoko and Kazuki are in their way to enjoy the time and Kazuki will guzzle away my fortune and eat up my whole fridge. I should prepare myself!

We've been practicing for 2 hours and we don't talk. Lucky! But somehow I'm disturbed by the fact that Kazuki and Kahoko are fooling around together. What are they doing?

"Where are you spacing out? Ice cubie? "

"Hn… soccer freak…" I respond but I don't want to…

"Thank God that your poor Kahoko didn't hear how you called me…" He smirks into my face and stares at the violin in my hands.

"She's not here… so I can call you whatever I want! " Let me collect the words before I forget: green monster, soccer freak, annoying pianist, ogre, mongrel, Sasquatch …what else…

"Stop being so close to her… unless you have decided your relationship with her! " What is he talking about? It's better to not answer.

"You can be her father, brother, roommate, lover or boyfriend. Make up your mind until it's not too late! "

Not too late? What did he mean by that? I must go out and cool down my senses… I have too much in mind… again.

"Where are you going? " The ogre stands up and clapping with his palms.

"None of your business! "

"Why don't you complain about her cooking? You know that it's tasteless! You're not the type of person who just swallows down things like that. "

Why am I not complaining about her food? Why this stupid guy is making me more confused than I am?

I don't say a word about her cooking because I'm more grateful for the effort that she puts in it! But actually, I cannot say this to him.

"It doesn't concern you! " I heave and I intend to leave my room when Kazuki screams.

* * *

Unconsciously, we run towards the source of his shouting. Just what on earth did he do?

"K a…hozkooo… plzzz dddoo som..thing… withz itzzz! Itzzz hhh..urtzzzz! "

"What the heck did you do, senpai? " The green ogre questions Kazuki and we have a silent rule with this pianist: whenever Kazuki doesn't act like a senpai we call him senpai. Why? Because it annoys him.

"Don'tzz callz me sempa..ii…! " His tongue is outside and lazily resting on his lower lip.

"What happened, Kahoko? " Now he turns to Kahoko and hopefully the girl will tell us.

"We were preparing wheat of cream. He told me that it's really delicious and I must try it! But when it was done, he couldn't resist and he burnt his tongue. " She forces a smile out, but probably she thinks that Kazuki is an idiot. I must agree on this one.

"Kahoko! Stop! Don't touch his tongue! " Oh great, she was about to caress his tongue. Doesn't she think that it's embarrassing? And why do I have a stinging pain in my stomach? Did I eat something weird for breakfast?

"I wantzzz tzooo go tzooo theezz hozzpital! " Kazuki murmurs.

"And what they would do with you? They can't put band aid on your tongue! " This time I have to agree with the soccer freak.

"Just drink milk! It's alkaline and will help to heal the burnt skin on your tongue…" I state it with frozen coolness in my voice.

"Thankzzzz, Lenzzz! " I almost pat his head… what a senpai we have here… so idiot and childish.

"Anyway, let's eat. Because it's ready. " Kahoko cheers up and sits down.

I glare at my plate… it's something creamy and hot… white… what the heck is it?

"It's wheat of cream. Just try it! It's really delicious! " My roommate entices me to taste the food and after one spoon … God! Please… give me strength to remain a gentleman! I was raised like one and a gentleman never splits out food or drink! Take a deep breath and swallow it!

I can bet that I took sugar for a whole year with only one spoon.

"Haha… you're face is priceless, ice cave! " Of course the pianist takes advantage of me when I'm the most vulnerable.

"Ryou, how did you call Len? " Kahoko shoots killing glances at him. I feel happy for it.

"I called him.. L…Le…Lee… Leennn… " Just like he would have eaten crap…

"Anyway… what does this 'wheat of cream' contain? " It's better to change the subject.

"It has evaporated milk, 3 egg yolks, 5 tablespoon sugar, vanilla extract, 5 tablespoon cinnamon and wheat of cream… " She shares the recipe with me.

Did she want to kill me with this food?

"Len… do you want me to prepare something else for you? " She's like a good daughter or sister… probably Tsuchiura's idea was not bad at all. I must be a good father or brother to her!

"No…" My curt answer is fine. I'll go out for a while.

"I'll do fried rice. You can go and rest, Kahoko! " The pianist stands up.

"Thank you. But I'll help you! " She grabs some plates and starts cleaning them. "Len! Where are you going? " What a question. I just try to get out of here! Don't you get it?

"I'm going for a walk…"

This time, nobody stops me. I catch a glimpse of the pianist grimacing but I don't give a damn about him.

* * *

I'm strolling the old Vienna streets aimlessly. I'll need more swimming lessons to sweat off this wheat of cream… whatever… this should be my smallest problem right now.

I have to face music and nothing else. And of course, I should put a point at the relationship with Kahoko. Let's see… do I appeal as a father or a brother bond with her?

As a father I doubt. They care so much for their daughters… I'm not like that. She appears like a mother for me or maybe a good sister. Also brothers help a lot to their younger sisters.

Anyway… is she younger than me? I don't even know when it's her birthday… But I don't even care!

It's so cold… and in my rush, I forgot to put on scarf and gloves…

I'm not her boyfriend! And will never be!

For that… two people need to agree on having a relationship, right? We never talk about matters like love… so that is out of question.

Lover… stupid… that's true that I have a little chemistry but I can't help it. I cannot go against nature just in one way… restrain myself or kick her out of the house. That's harsh. It's my problem that I can't control myself. I must do it! I must…

As I can see… only one relationship left: roommates. I just need one thing to know… _how roommates treat each other…_

I look up to the creamy sky and glare at the vagrant snowflakes falling down… it's so dense that I can hardly see through…

"Ah… Len… nice to see you here! "

"Azuma… what a surprise…" What the heck is he doing here…

"How is your roommate doing? " He smiles with the exact same smile as he did in high school. This is the smile that makes girls crazy. I admire him to always keep his smile… is it fake?

"Thanks, she's fine…" We just met and he's asking about Kahoko…

"Actually, I was searching for you. "

"Yes…" I'm not in the mood to talk to him.

"Here! Take this and read the article on the 41st page! Maybe your mother would help me with a little investigation…" His eyes are so enigmatic. Like he's hiding something…

"Why my mother? " I don't understand him.

"I understand that you're not interested in matters that don't concern you. But it includes your mother, so that's why… and now if you excuse me, I have errands to run. "

"Bye… " I just heave out the good bye and his shadow is nowhere to be found.

* * *

I'm standing in the snow… under a street light and discover that I have to head back… it's getting late. My hand is holding an old magazine and unconsciously, I turn the pages and stop at the 41…

Why do I bother myself to do what he wants? It must be his aim to make me curious but I'm not…

Maybe yes…

On the page, there's a huge colored picture of 3 women…

They are wearing pretty clothes. The photo must have been taken after a ball or a dance…

On the left side… it's my mother. I'm 100 percent sure that it's my mother. I don't need to read the names under the picture… but it also says: Hamai Misa.

In the middle… there's a woman, more or less the same age like my mother. She has short, crimson hair and somehow, she looks familiar.

She looks like Kahoko!

Her name is… Hino Hitomi!

Also their surname is the same! Could it be…

The last woman is standing at the right side of the photo and she looks older than the other two. She has long, pitch black hair…

Her name is… Kira Kahoko!

I have goose bumps on my spine and a strange feeling is creeping upon me… why?

The three women seem to be close friends and they look so happy on this old picture.

The article is under the photo…the title is: _The real golden string is found_!

Golden string?

I have heard it somewhere…

Where?

Ah… Sakura was mumbling about it and I thought it was a fairy tale…

* * *

I skim through the article as fast I can and the main point is that the eldest woman, Kira Kahoko, is a well known violinist and she takes Hino Hitomi and Hamai Misa under her wings. Hamai Misa is on her way to be a famous pianist while Hino Hitomi is a violin prodigy… she possesses the real golden string…

I quickly check the date of the magazine and it was 20 years ago!

But there's one more thing that strikes into my eyes… Why my mother and Hino Hitomi… look pregnant?

I was born…

…21…years ago!

That bastard Yunoki knew how to make me more confused… if he's curious than why he didn't call my mother or… I don't know… but…

I believe in logic and in what I can see and touch! See the stars above… they are hidden behind the snow clouds and yet, I know that they are there…

Think of music…

Music is like Mathematics…

It's tangible… perceptible and I can prove it… just like the Pythagorean Theorem! I will stay on the grounds of music and I won't trouble my mind with nothing else!

I hide the magazine under my coat and I ransack my pockets for my keys.

* * *

I stare at two green heads, stamping in front of the bathroom door. Their heads are bending down and their hands… are between their legs! Impatience is screaming in their stomps.

"What's wrong? " Of course I know the problem… But somehow I enjoy the sarcasm.

"Kahoko has been using the bathroom since 5 pm… "

I check my watch and it's nearly 7:40 pm…

"That's her weekend routine… she's taking a bath. " I almost smirk. But I hold myself back. I cannot allow that luxury in front of them.

"But for 3 hours? Does she intend to grow scales? " The pianist is complaining. It's music for my ears…

"On weekdays, she only takes a shower… she occupies the bathroom for like 90 minutes. But at the weekend, she finds pleasure in long bubble bath at this hour. "

They glare at me with O's in their eyes… I got used to Kahoko's bathing habits and I know that she cherishes these moments.

"How do you know that she's taking a bubble bath? " Kazuki questions me. Now he's crossing his legs… wriggles with them and leaning against the wall. Probably, he's at his limits.

"Did you play peeping Tom or you shared a bath with her? " The soccer freak's assumptions are boring.

"None…"… I take a little break then I continue my ministration as I look at my watch. "From now on, count 30 more minutes and if you're lucky, she'll be done at 8…"

"No… No… Nonononooononooooooooo…" Kazuki cries out but I don't pity them… they wanted to be 'special guests' here… not me! Now take the consequences!

* * *

"29 minutes 34 second, 29 minutes 35 seconds, 29 minutes 36 seconds…" Kazuki is bored that he counts the seconds or… just simply restive?

"Kazuki… stop counting! It just makes the situation worse! "

Leisurely, Kahoko turns down the doorknob and … ah… Thank God that she's not in a towel or in a sexy baby doll… she's just wearing plain pajamas.

"What's wrong? " She's smiling at us… questionably glares at the two green heads… her eyes meander down on their worm figure and stops at their hands…

"I go first! "

"No! I go first! "

Both of them are running into the bathroom and we hear a dull noise… they fell…

"Kahoko! You left a swimming pool! " They holler at the same time!

"Sorry guys! But I always come back to mop the floor! You just rushed in…" Kahoko giggles as she stares at the direction of the bathroom door.

* * *

"Kazuki… do you want some ice cream? " Kahoko is in the kitchen and seemingly, tries to spoil Kazuki.

"What flavor? "

"Mmmm… Strawberry, pistachio, butter pecan, cookies and cream, vanilla…" She's sharing the menu with him. So sad that actually, Kazuki is in the living room, playing video games and Kahoko is in the kitchen, alone.

"In this order will be great! " Shameless scoundrel! But this stinging pain in my stomach is still pestering me… and why can't a swallow this ball down on my throat?

* * *

The night falls on us and of course, and we have a fight: who's sleeping with whom… and where. The origin of the opposition is Kahoko.

"Len, they are guests! They can't sleep on the sofa! " She protests but I don't mind. She's not gonna win this time!

"You pay for the rent. They don't. " I simply give a piece from my mind.

She was reasoning for half an hour and the result is:

Kazuki and the pianist sleep in her room.

Kahoko sleeps in my room.

And I… Tsukimori Len… will spend the night on the sofa.

"Len… it's your house! You can't sleep on the sofa! I'll do it! " She's bringing her pillow and blanket. Her golden heart must shine in the same way as her orbs do.

"Just go! " I'm angry… because the commotion is her fault. Why didn't she agree on the sofa for the two green heads?

But I'm dropping with fatigue and normally 1 hour swimming doesn't make this effect on me. It must be the stress and too many thoughts.

What's the purpose of Azuma's act? Giving me an ancient magazine where's a picture of my mother and two unknown women…

Don't even mention that two women are pregnant on the photo, and one is my mother. And who are they?

I don't care.

It's not my business.

"Len… " Kahoko is sitting next to me on the sofa…

"What is it? " Just let me sleep. Please!

"I have an idea! " She sparkles through the dark room and grabs my hand.

* * *

So her splendid idea was to make a barricade with pillows and set my bed into two. She felt so guilty that she couldn't sleep and when she got a little slumber, she had a nightmare…

No comment…

So here we are… again… in my room… a pillow tower is blocking my view to see her shadowed smile…

We have separate blankets and it seems that she still can't sleep.

She turns to the left…

Then to the right…

She's scratching…

She's moving her legs up and down…

She's twiddling with her fingers…

Why I know the latter one? Because she's shadow playing…

"Kahoko…" I can't stand this anymore! I draw my pillow out and grab my blanket. "I'll sleep on the sofa. Don't feel guilty! " I try to stand up but she's reaching for my hand.

The pillow barricade falls down and I meet a pair of gilded eyes.

"I have no right to sleep here…" She averts her glance and let go of my hands.

I set my back on the bed and pull her closer to my body. She's shaking.

Should I comfort her? I don't know how to soothe down a girl or how to make her feel better.

Words are words. They're alluringly dancing into a left ear than leave the right ear without staying any longer.

Probably, with deeds I can do more for her. Just stop quivering!

I'm not sure why I can't stand watching her like this… a fragile girl in my arms…

Sunshine between rain clouds…

A tongue of a flame within an icicle…

A spring breeze between lifeless winter trees…

A rainbow on the murky night firmament…

A sparkling morning star in my heart…

I lift up her head with her chin and lean closer to her face.

She's not trembling anymore but the shock is glistening in her eyes. I don't intend to startle her. I just…

I just can't resist anymore…

I let my heart play a duet with hers… drums are beating an unsteady rhythm.

Her skin…

Just too soft…

Her eyes…

Just too many emotions… which one I should obey?

Her lips…

Just too tempting…

Do you hold the mysteries in life? Are you the lurking star on the cloudy sky? I cannot see you, but I know that you're there!

Do you command my mind?

I feel that the mirror of my soul is torn into tiny pieces… Will you be the woman in my life from whom I hide the tears I cry?

I guess… this is the end… and this is the failure of being her father or brother… unless I'm a very pervert father or brother to her.

Tentatively, I pull my head close to hers. Kahoko's lips are partially opened, just like mines.

I hold our eye contact and try to read her reaction. Nothing! I'm not good at things like this. With the candies I could read her mind, which was obvious. But now, when I intend to kiss her… I wish I could get a piece from her dense mind.

I circle the shape of her lips with my index finger and still struggle to swim in her mind. Can I ask her… may I ask her permission for an innocent kiss?

Len… stop thinking of the kiss!

You mustn't!

But I'm just… you what? Do you want to ruin everything? Don't you see that your best friend is falling for her?

I'm still caressing her velvet lips… and she leaves out a soft moan.

Does she enjoy it?

Maybe she's just like music and violin. It's still Math…

Learning new methods…

Trying the new methods…

Using the new methods…

Proving the new methods…

And receiving the marvelous results…

It's Math… I touch her and she responds. It's chemistry… and chemistry is proven by smarter people…

How should I experience further? Should I press my lips on hers?

Her respiration is fast… audible… but my finger is stopped on her lower lip.

Now we are separated with 1 cm thick air… or less… and this is it. This is the end. I don't know what kind of end is this… but there's no turning back now!

First, I skim my lips on hers.

She doesn't respond just being motionless. But she has closed her eyes. Is it a good sign or not?

It's soft… it's delectable… it's luscious… and it's alluring!

I pleasure her with minuscule kisses by my lips. I hold her upper lips between mine and finally, she's doing the same to me.

It's like we just taste each other. Tasting our lips… experimenting with small kisses before we would trespass the limits.

The blood is in fire in my veins and hotness conquers every tiny part of my body.

Does she feel the same?

I envelop her cheeks between my scorched palms and discover that her face is also burning.

She shivers a little, just a very little, to close the rest of the distance between our bodies.

I don't count the weeny kiss battle between our lips but the number must be really high.

And I know one thing for sure… I want more! Now that I tasted… now that I experienced and discovered… I yearn for more!

I'm knocking on the invisible door of her mouth with my longing tongue and we partially spread our lips when…

"We cannot sleep! " Kazuki and Tsuchiura are standing at the door… Thank God that they didn't turn on the lights.

Kahoko and I act like we flutter with our wings and we separate rapidly.

* * *

The new sleeping places:

Kahoko is sleeping in her room.

The annoying soccer freak is sleeping in my bed!

Kazuki and I occupy the sofa.

* * *

"Len… I want to ask something…" He starts timidly. And I'm afraid of his questions.

I just nod with my head and he knows that I gave my consent.

"It happened like 6 years ago… back in high school… " He takes a brief pause then continues. "It was a bright day… you were 15… and I was 16… we were standing at the fairy statue with Ryou and Azuma. And suddenly… a beautiful girl was running through the yard of the school. "

Where is he going with this story? And I don't even remember on that day… many days like that happened… besides the running, beautiful girls…

"It was the day when your mother asked you to play a duet with her for a charity concert… That was the first time you accepted her invitation. "

Now we are talking. It makes more sense. I was hesitating a lot to play with her or not. I was no match for her.

"So this girl had long amaranth hair and she was just running… and running. If I saw well, she had tears in her eyes but when she reached our group, under the fairy statue, she smiled at me… "

Does he want me to remember on the girl? Should I? Can I?

"The principal, Akihiko Kira was chasing her and yelling after her something like: Don't run away! He said her name but I don't remember. Also Ryou… he doesn't know her name… But on that day… I fell in love with her…"

"I cannot recall a memory like that. A red haired girl, running around the fairy statue and trying to escape from the principal… I don't know Kazuki…"

Why do I smell something fishy? Should I know that girl?

"I believe –and not just me-, also Ryou and Azuma think that the girl was Kahoko…"

So this is where he headed… can she be the same person? Actually, now that he mentions… I do remember on a girl… with long crimson hair flying in the spring breeze… a smile and a tear…

"It was her. I know! Her smile hasn't changed at all! " His voice is lower now… almost whispering.

"But she didn't attend to Seiso… "We would have known about a talented violinist if she had attended to the same high school.

"Nope… she didn't… that's true… but it was her. "

I don't protest. Why? Because I'm not sure!

"Len… I know it's her! And I still love her! More than anything in this world! But I ask a huge favor from you! "

I gulp… and fear from the upcoming request.

_"Would you support me… to win her heart? " _

My mind goes blank but I should answer… I must answer for my best friend… if I can still call him my best friend…

"Of course…" The words are painfully leaving my lips… the same lips with I just have betrayed Kazuki… those lips which were tasting the honey on Kahoko's lips!

_Slowly, my heart is bleeding inwardly and somehow I feel a tear is nipping down on my face… **I have known already that I've lost my only friend!**_

* * *

**Thanks for reading and please if you take the time to read my story, pleaseeeeeeeeee leave a feedback! You will make me so happy with that! **

**Million thanks for my supporters and reviews! They make me so happy! **

* * *

Ah... don't know what to say.. actually they kissed! They kissed! But not a tongue kiss... muhahhahahahahaaa but a more passionate kiss is coming soon! I promise!

So what do you think? ... this chapter is so long... sorry to make you bored with it but I enjoyed when I was writing it! At the end, I was nearly crying...

I hope that I made you more confused with Kahoko's past :P But I also promise that everything will be cleared!

* * *

Important question:

**DO YOU WANT ME TO WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER FOR THE 'TRIP TO FRANCE' OR SKIP THAT CHAPTER (I DIDN'T PLAN ANYTHING SPECIAL IN THAT CHAPTER SO WE CAN FORGET ABOUT IT) OR WRITE THE CHAPTER FOR LENXKAHOKO PURE MOMENTS? **

* * *

So next chapter is the question... and I'll do as my readers like

**1. Trip to France**

**2. Northern Lights** (pure KahoxLen moments on Christmas Eve... very unusual Christmas :)


	14. Northern Lights

**Roommates**

**Chapter 14: Northern Lights**

* * *

Those butterfly wings meandered my lips and pleasured them with delectable whispering kisses…

His lips…

His skin…

His heat…

….were mingled with mine…

Just like dried dandelions are waltzing on the back of the air… gently fondling each other while they are carried to another dimension of life… those crinite and yielding umbrellas melded with my lips…

The feeling fazed my other senses and longed for something more… something which is unknown and undiscovered by my body.

The lips were relishing each other… how I wish we could have continued our liaison and paddled to dangerous waters…

My reveries don't help me … after those kisses nothing has happened. Or should I say that Len is even avoiding me?

Why?

My mind is hollow when I arrive to this question. My least favorite and classic question and actually… nobody knows the answer… Why?

Did…

Did he…

Did he regret those stolen kisses?

…

Probably…

As I feast my eyes on the bed which is covered with a gift carnival I remember that I should wrap everything and post them. Nobody remained in the city after the French trip… besides me and Len. All of our friends are visiting their families in Japan and in other countries. When they asked me if I'll go 'home'… I should answer with a sour 'no'. Len also doesn't want to travel for Christmas. His reasoning was simple:

"I don't waste my time with unreasonable matters like travelling because it's taking my precious time from practicing…"

Understandable…

So like Tsukimori Len.

But that means we are stick together for the whole holidays. Ryou and Kazuki moved out as soon as we got back from the airport so we are all alone.

No… you are thinking of something bad… really bad! Yes, we are alone but … it's like I'm transparent.

We eat breakfast. We eat lunch then dinner… he plays a duet with me and goes to sleep. Then the circle goes around again and again. He doesn't talk, or just minimized the conversation to the necessary point. Yeah, it's inevitable to say good morning… on the other hand, I would not be surprised if he gets over this usual habit…

Even something was very strange… During the trip he was avoiding me more and he always sent me to Kazuki to play with him… why did he do that? I don't deny that I like Kazuki's company but…

OK… enough, back to the gifts… today is my last chance to ship them.

Kazuki: enormous bear plush –tick

Ryou: piano keychain –tick

Azuma: diary with pen –tick

Keiichi and Shoko: photo album –tick

Aoi: pillow set – tick

Etou: 5000 pieces puzzle – tick

Nami: 3 SD cards – tick

Nao, Mio, Mori: make up set –tick

And… Len…: snow globe –t..tick

How much trouble I went through to get that snow globe… but actually they prepared it on time. And it's so pretty. I hope he'll cherish it!

It's huge, just like a mutant orange. There's a violin inside and musical notes are floating in the water. When I pick it up and shake it, it plays music. But not any kind of music it is! It's my own playing… The first part of Swan Lake…

And here comes the gifts that I've received after the trip.

Kazuki gave me a plush… actually it's a pillow pet. A unicorn. A purple unicorn… to be precise. It's so cute!

Ryou surprised me with a cooking book and a spring season ticket to the Opera. Is it an innuendo? Is my cooking bad?

Azuma… he bought a very unique vase for me. It's crystal and it's painted with vivid colors.

From Keiichi and Shoko, I've received a pretty music box.

Aoi… it's a perfume pendant. It's shaped as a G clef.

Etou… no comment… bathroom set (should I detail the bubble bath, oil, salt and very delicate shampoo and shower cream… not to mention the body lotion…) and of course, he attached a very 'heartwarming' note: _Let me know when you use them… I want to be there!_

I flinch and put aside the note…

Nami's present is really … memorable, because she prepared a photo album for me with pictures in it. They were taken during Music History classes and lunch breaks.

From Nao and Mio I got almost the same make up set and Mori bought for me special candies!

It's scrumptious! I managed to wrap everything. Put them inside the separate boxes and wrote the addresses on them.

I placed Len's present next to a tiny pine tree that I bought yesterday. We are adults, we don't need huge decorated, illuminated Christmas tree… children look at them with awe and opened mouth… so a minuscule tree is more than enough.

Probably he didn't even get anything for me. I don't care of expensive gifts… I treasure the goodwill value of the present… not their prices.

I should let him know that I'm going to the post office… I tiptoe to his door which is slightly opened. I can hear his conversation on phone.

SSSssssss… Kahoko! Close your ears! Eavesdropping is a very bad sin!

"What do you mean by that? Don't tell me that you can't make it! "

Pause… probably someone is talking on the other end of the line.

"Kazuki… I arranged everything and now you're informing me… "… another slice of silence "Don't you dare… " …. "OK… then there's no other choice…"

I don't understand anything. But he was talking to Kazuki. And I heard enough. I should get going.

* * *

"Ah, coffee…" Len steps in the kitchen and snatches up a cup which is…

"No… that is…" It's too late, he has already taken the first sip and the result is written on his expression. He grimaces and purses up his lips and if I'm not mistaken his only wish would be to split it out but he swallows the draught of coffee.

"What is this? " With a dainty movement of his wrist, he pours out the sweet content of the cup into the sink. For my worst nightmare! I worked a lot on that coffee… and I yearned to drink it.

"It was my coffee.." I sigh and think forward to prepare it again.

"What did you put in it? A block of sugar? " His nettled countenance questions my precious energizer…

"Kazuki taught me how to make delicious coffee… I also put marshmallows in it…" They are so sweet. I fancy the melted marshmallows in coffee and my mouth waters for the sweet taste of it.

"Hn…" He spins around his heels and leaves me alone.

"Do you want normal coffee? " Well, what is normal coffee? I only can drink it if it has a block of sugar in it and the measurement has to be 1 cup of milk and 2 drops of coffee! For Len… let's see…: only black coffee. No sugar! No milk! That's like suicide!

"No…" That's all he shares from his mind and yes, I'm alone.

* * *

I sit next to the desk where the small tree is triumphantly standing and trying to reach the ceiling. I'm mesmerized by the glistening, rainbow colored ornaments on it. The white, plush carpet is thick under my body and I cuddle my arms around my knees.

"You look like a hedgehog! "

He takes place not so far from me and pierces his eyes on our cute Christmas tree.

"There is a gift for you! "

I smile at him but he doesn't respond. Where is that wry, sour smile? I know it's pathetic to beam out a smile like that, but it's still a smile and a kind of miracle if it's from Mr. Tsukimori Len.

His arms are stretching to the direction of the huge, blue box. And with one movement, he removes the silver ribbon from it.

"Thanks…" He shakes the snow globe and after hearing the first note of the Swan Lake, he shuts his eyes. "It's your playing…" That's all his remark.

Silence again…

And I'm alone … again.

"And this is for you…"

Geez, he startled me! I was so deep in my hapless thoughts about being alone that I didn't hear him stepping closer to my snail house.

"Thanks! " I can sense the sparkles in my eyes and I grab the box from his hand.

But when I opened it… I couldn't help, just to spread my lips and left them like that for God knows how many minutes. Eyes are fixed of the content of the gift box… and…

It's empty…

It has only air in it…

Is he making fun of me?

"I'm sorry… your real present is waiting for you. But…" He crosses his arms around his chest. "I wanted to place something under the tree…"

What? He's… so kind…

"It's all right! " Probably he witnessed the grief in my eyes…

"We don't have much time. Hurry up and pack warm clothes for like two days. "

"Eh? " What kind of ultimatum is it?

"You've got 30 minutes! " He states it with so much confidence in his voice.

But I just stand up and throwing daggers at his face with an innocent moo-cow expression.

"I don't wait for you! " With this last statement, he disappears. And he yells something odd… a little echo reaches my ears.

"Don't forget to pack swimsuit and your passport! "

Swimsuit?

Swimsuit… you must be kidding me.

Warm clothes for like 2 days but don't forget the swimsuit… why do I smell contradiction in it?

Where are we going?

Destination: Reykjavik, Iceland. I specify! I hope it's not the destination. It must be a place where we take the connection.

I couldn't help myself… the silence was so loud that I fell asleep on the airplane. And I had a weird dream… which happened 6 years ago… but I dig the memory deep inside my mind… and intended to never bring it up to the surface.

* * *

"Hino Kahoko! " A sonorous, melodeon voice was whispering my name in the garden of Seiso High School.

I twisted my neck to the right, but saw nobody.

Then to my left side, and still nobody…

Look forward, backward, but no one was in sight.

I was reading some music sheets when I heard my name again…

"Hino Kahoko! Finally, you've come to see me! " The voice was closer to my ear this time but still didn't see anyone.

I flicked the papers with my index finger and tentatively, scrutinized my surrounding.

"EH? " A flying, fairy looking, sparkling… small figure was dancing in front of my eyes.

"That's all you can say? "

What a pompous creature!

"Who are you? " The obvious question left my lips and hoped for an acceptable –rather rational – answer would come along with it.

"I'm Lili… and I'm a musical fairy! " He winked at me with a heartfelt smile then crossed his tiny arms across his heart.

"Aham…" I stated then couldn't do anything else, just laugh so hard that my face was tear stained.

"Your mother was much younger when we met… such a shame that you spent your childhood in England… " He whirled around in the soft breeze.

"How do you…. Wait… my mother? " Questions after questions were knocking on my mind's door and made me more confused than I was already.

"That golden string is from me… and I'm happy that you're using it with much pleasure! " He closed his eyes then opened them again… slowly projected his glamorous glance at my giddy posture.

"I don't believe in you! " Tears were welled up in the valley of my eyes and wetted my face with them… This time I was not giggling or laughing, but weeping hard…

I stood up and ran… just ran… ran towards the office of the principal.

Akihiko Kira

I opened the door without knocking and he was with his assistant, discussing some paper work.

"I haven't called you, yet! " He worriedly looked at my writhing figure then scooped to my direction and closed me in a tight embrace. "What happened? "

"Onii… Onii-chan… there is a fairy in the garden…" I whimpered and I felt my body became numb.

"I'm not your Onii-chan… but that's OK! We will fill the papers for your transfer soon. Just stay here! Sit there! " He pointed to a black, leather coach and my muscles started trembling.

"I'm not going to transfer… " With glassy eyes I watched at his white shirt and I placed my legs to make a step back.

"What are you talking about? There is a boy who is really talented and you can practice with him! His name is…"

I didn't wait for him to finish the sentence, I just spun around my heels and RAN!

I was lucky, because he needed like half a tick to discover what really happened and started to run after me.

"Wait! Kahoko! "

He squalled out my name more times then stopped it because I didn't listen. I was just running… like my life depended on it.

"Destiny is silent! It will reach you anyway! "

That was the last sentence I perceived with my ears… the rest was not important. He could plead! He could yell as much as he wanted… but I didn't care!

I reached the fairy statue in front of the school gate and I caught a glimpse of four boys… they looked familiar somehow. Their shocked expressions made me feel guilty and I smiled at them!

After the incident I transferred back to London… and finished the high school there.

Akihiko was 25...

I was 14…

* * *

"Kahoko, wake up! " Len is shaking my shoulders gingerly.

What a jinx I am! I thought that we'll just have connection in Reykjavik, but if we take a taxi here… that means … this is our destination!

* * *

"This is your room! "

We've arrived to a little, cozy wooden house… the time is like 2 am… and it's COLD!

There's only one room and tiny living room with kitchen. Everything is wood besides the sofa. The front wall is decorated with a fireplace and thank God, it makes the places warmer.

"Sunrise is after 11 am. Lunch is at 12, and you have time until 2 pm because we should get going before sunset! "

Why is he so diplomatic? We are talking about my Christmas gift here!

"And where are we going? What can I do between 12 and 2? " My swelling curiosity is painted on my face and I feel the rushing blood is reaching my cheeks.

He just pushed me a little forward to the window, then he shifts the silky curtain to the right side.

Wow…. There's a natural, geyser pool! Amazing!

"That's why you needed the swimsuit! "

"Are you going to make me company? " Idiot question! Imagine Len… in swimming attire, sitting in a geyser pool… I have to force back a soft giggle…

I guess he also thinks that my question was inappropriate so he sits on the sofa then covers himself with a blanket.

"Good night…"

Why is he so melodramatic? Always sleeping on the sofa and trying to be a gentleman…

"Good night…" I take the direction to the room and swim in deep dreams.

* * *

Ohhh… this water is so hot and so comfortable! Much better than a bubble bath!

"Kahoko, time is over! Sunset is in 1 hour and we should reach the place before it! "

Where the heck we are going… it's so cold… I'm freezing… I don't want to leave the water!

"Here! " He is covering me with a huge, white towel… I must be lobster red… mainly when accidentally he touched my skin… just like a thunderbolt ran through my body…

The land is sleeping under white blanket of snow… the cloudless sky is boasting with the livid, hollyhock pick colored sunrays.

Our car is halted in front of a frozen lake which is enveloped with bare-chested trees.

I send a kiss to the last sunrays when I finally understand our purpose in this place: the Northern Lights or Aurora Borealis.

I've never seen this natural wonder of the world but I'm excited and frankly, this is the best Christmas gift that I've ever received!

The orange and pink paints on the waists of the sky are disappearing, leaving behind a clean, blueberry firmament.

Len takes out his violin and welcomes the first vivid light with a soft note.

The cavorting colors are playing on the old, dusty sky and paint it in green and blue…

Len's notes are carried by the windswept landscape. First, the notes are climbing up from low to high then the same pattern repeats itself just from high to low… It's a tender and romantic song… with full of passion, longing and desire. It's cunning yet pure and cries for a sheer feeling of love.

The kaleidoscope of colors is still waving on the natural canopy and I'm dazzled by the tricks of light.

Wintergreen…

Another soft note…

Metal myrtle blossom…

The last note is almost transparent…

* * *

"That was beautiful! " Too many emotions dissipate my power and I land on the snow with my knees.

He puts down the violin on the hood of the car and kneels in front of me.

I just grab his hands, which are frigid cold… and try to warm them up with my own heat…

"You didn't wear gloves…" Obvious, how he could play the violin with gloves? 'Thank you! That was my best gift ever! "

He averts his head up to the sky and I can see the reflection of the blue lights in his orbs. But I'm still holding his frozen hands… and for my surprise, he doesn't take them away.

"My mother loves this place… " He sighs and comes back to meet my eyes.

"It's wonderful! " I smile at him with care. "What's the name of the song? "

"It's Golden Gravity… It also has a piano version but this one is written by my father…" A piece of silence… "They have an album with different versions of the song…" Music is his favorite topic. I should have known. And I played the piano version with Ryou… somehow this song was more heartwarming for me.

"It's truly beautiful…" I look down and eye at our intervened hands. For some strange reasons, I feel my muscles shaking and salty water accumulates in the corner of my eyes. My sight is murky and have I seen a running crystal on his face?

I recall the memory of the butterfly kisses and…

Len…

What are you doing?

I'm tongue-tied and declare my soul for the irresistible desire…

He's facing me… and our bodies are resting on the virgin snow…

Len's pale skin is shadowed by the radiant colors of the light… and…

…

I can't breathe!

His mouth is landed in mine and taken advantage of my ajar lips… his tongue is already inside my most private cave!

At the same moment… I see the Saturn, crashing through the blackberry night and break the ice on the frozen lake. The planets are following their sister in the way and all of the luminescence stars are dancing around our kissing shade.

His tongue is demanding and lustful… just a red flame is liberated from its ice prison and now it's vaunting with its devastating power!

I feel we are swimming under the frozen lake… cold and hot at the same time and the bubbles are floating around us. The planets are resting on the surface of the water and they are set ablaze… fire is running through the surface of the lake and finally, his tongue is calming down and grant me with precious air.

But he hasn't finished! His lips are busy with mine… continuing with the tiny, dandelion kisses. He covers my upper lip with his while his fingers are playing with the end of my hair.

My reeled senses are screaming and my body is begging for a chilly shower because I feel I'm burning alive!

His lips are crawling down on my chin, finding their place on my throat and gently kissing my running pulse…

His muscles are stiff and are shaking along with mine but he doesn't stop it… He's pressing his chest against my body and buries his head on my shoulder…

The savage wolf is in a sedate state in my embrace or is it just lull before the storm?

He lifts up his head, to seek for my expression… probably, he yearns to know what I think in this moment.

Tsukimori Len… I sensed that this was his first kiss… it was tentative and experimental… yet lustful and longing. He was not so expert but he knew what he wanted. He was self conscious and I granted him with the same power.

My first kiss…and I loved it!

But it's not over… the reflection of his eyes is whispering more desire and he surrenders… finds my lips again and he doesn't need permission to enter… I gladly continue the kiss with him…

But this time, he's slow… and I follow his pace. The previous kiss was fierce and rapid… it happened in the heat of the moment, but this one is for a real memory…

Sweet…

Romantic…

And… full with… Love?

Does he hold feelings for me?

I guess…

Does a boy kiss a girl if he doesn't have emotions? Maybe yes… maybe no…

But Len is a gentleman. He would never use me… Should I believe that from now on we'll be a couple?

He fondles my stone cold cheeks and places his forehead on mine…

"I'm sorry…" He whispers… and this was the last sentence that he shared with me since we left Iceland…

_Silence…_

_The silence of my punishment…_

_The punishment of daring to be a daydreamer…. _

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Million thanks for the previous reviews! They made my day and I can't breathe without your support and if I can't breathe I can't write :D**

* * *

So... did you feel **HOT OR COLD**? haha... well actually, this was a real kiss and sorry for the Saturn and planets but that's a kind of description how Kahoko felt ;)

About the Northern Lights... yeah I did my little research and I worked a lot on the kiss part haha but I still don't like it much...

I skipped some parts to not write so much... I always end up writing 15 pages in MS Word which is not healthy :D So I skipped the post office, the travel and the lunch :P

Ah and I granted my readers with a piece from Kahoko's past ;)

**I just beg.. if you're a continuous reader of my story, I need your feedback and review! Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee**

**I need more confidence :( I feel like receiving less and less reviews from chapters to chapters... is it that bad? :S**

Actually, Len wanted this trip for Kazuki and Kahoko but Kazuki couldn't come so Len went with Kahoko and it seems that he couldn't control himself anymore... poor guy, lucky Kahoko haha

Do you remember on the 2nd chapter first some lines... well, I refer to that at the end of this chapter. Hope you get the hint ;)

* * *

**Next issue: Forgotten**

travel a little forward in time and it will be Kahoko's birthday and unexpected happenings will take place in the chapter.


	15. Forgotten

**Roommates**

**Chapter 15: Forgotten**

* * *

"Kahoko! Come on! Open your mouth! "

"Mmmmmmmm…." I press my lips together and try to pronounce the protesting sounds. I'm shaking my head, nonstop, from right to left then from left to right. But it's no use! Kaji is a sincere doctor –or soon to be doctor- and he doesn't give up easily. He's struggling to push down some liquid on my throat.

How did this happen? Let me think…

Ah yes! Today is Friday and I woke up with high fever. I refused to see the doctor and also I didn't want to take any medication. Of course, Len panicked but didn't do anything! Probably, he tried to keep his sang-froid state and let me be. He didn't need much effort for this since we hardly talk. When I say hardly… just imagine the minimum communication between roommates. After Christmas, he even offered for me to leave… of course if I wanted to. But I didn't.

OK, back to my miserable situation and let's forget about Christmas and the kiss… THE KISS, because daydreaming is pernicious for my health!

Thank God, Kazuki appeared out of the blue and witnessed my sapless body's wiggling on the bed and his brilliant idea was to call for Kaji…

Don't need to mention that Etou made him company, but what Azuma is doing here it's still a mystery.

Ryou didn't visit me… but he called… and excused himself! Since they stopped being freeloaders in Len's apartment, Ryou is avoiding even the area! Oh and they don't call each other by given names anymore! Somehow it's understandable!

So here I am… on my bed, sweating over the bedclothes and my pajamas and 5 handsome young men are glaring at me with worried eyes. I specify, only 4 handsome, young men are staring at me because Len is just leaning against the wall, arms are crossed, eyes are closed and thinking of God knows what. Probably his mind is occupied with: "I'm busy practicing my violin and my roommate is such a clumsy girl, she's like a magnetic field for attention…" Or something like this… just shorter and meaner.

What a shame! What a shame! They take advantage of me! I hate attention! That's why nobody knows that _today is my birthday_!

"Kahoko! Listen to me! " Kaji's ocean blue, radiating eyes are seeking for my orbs and for a little understanding. I'm such a kid but I can't help it! This tea smells horrible! Imagine how it tastes!

"Please! If you don't take anything you'll get worse! " He is such a nice guy, full of concern and worry! _Not like someone who's heart of adamant! _

"But it smells horrible! " I almost cry. I'm usually oversensitive but when I have a fever, I can state with much confidence that my tears are just playing tag with each other on my sallow cheeks.

"Don't cry! It's only elderflower tea! It will be sanative for your fever! "

I look around the room…Len's still playing the role of an outsider while Kazuki is pacing up and down with a nervous glance in his eyes. Azuma is also worried or is it his mask? No idea. And Etou… well… he's standing above me and states his sally of wit!

"I'll tickle her and you can force that nasty tea down on her throat! "

What? No way! No way! He can't do that! I rather volunteer!

"Give me that cup! " I reach for it. I hold my breath back, block my nostrils with my thumb and index finger and… Go for it! The faster the better!

One gulp

Two gulps

Three gulps…

Darn it! How much more? It tastes… terrible! Bitter and sour at the same time… somehow causing me nausea! And of course, he didn't put sugar or lemon in it.

"Sorry Kahoko! But herbal teas have their best effect without condiment! " Kaji is apologizing but he's just doing his work.

"Kahoko! Do you want ice-cream? " I can see sparkles around the room when Kazuki asks me. What an obvious question!

"Of course! " I shout but Azuma has to ruin my fun.

"If she has inflammation then it's not a good idea to eat something cold. " Azuma! You! I want ice-cream! After this nasty tea I should get something sweet.

"I agree…" Kiriya smiles at me but I ignore him.

"Actually, she is fine. Physically! The reason of her high fever is stress and mostly it's mental. " Kaji is sharing his sagacious thoughts.

What? Do you think that I'm not sane? But he has a point there. I've mustered up too much stress in the last few weeks.

"So… can I get my ice-cream? " I purse up my lips and wait in anticipation.

"It would be wiser to eat some fruits and hot soup! " Azuma is still against me! What a nemesis he is! But I concede that he has right.

"Thanks for your concern, Azuma! " A warm smile is expressing my gratitude towards him. "Then… can you prepare for me wheat of cream? " I avert my gaze to Kazuki, who's running to the kitchen without answering me. His enthusiasm is more than an honest reply!

I hope I didn't sound too demanding. But with Len, I could starve until death.

"Don't burn your tongue again, senpai…" Len is stating sardonically but he keeps his eyes closed.

Only he and I know what he meant…

.

XXXXXXXX

.

Kazuki is back with a bowl of hot wheat of cream. "May I feed you? "

Deadly silence… but softly, I could hear some frowns from Etou and Kaji… Len has already left the room with Azuma… Thank God!

"Of course, NOT! " I'm not handicap! Geez… I can eat by myself. "Sorry Kazuki but it's not a good idea…" I correct myself. I didn't want to sound too harsh with him because he only wished to help me.

* * *

I preside on my bed – of course, without confidence on my face - and I persuade myself to sleep but it's harder than I thought. This pulsating pain in my temples is literally killing me. My two temples are pressing my head and they struggle to meet at the middle.

My skin is searing but at the same time I feel my muscles are quivering and in one second, I throw my blanket away while in the other moment, I demand it back and I shiver with cold. My sight is murky and I can perceive my surrounding in a smaller version… how can it be possible that my desk is like half of the original size? Impossible!

My perturbing, ponderous respiration is raising the feather like blanket with each inhalation. The air is torrid around me and I stare at the dancing mirage in the waving oxygen molecules.

Tears accumulate in the valley of my eyes and I liberate them with a blink. First, there's only one tear from each eye and they slowly meander my cheeks… then the rest of the tears are following them, creating a living fountain on my face. My muscles are made of iron and anytime I want to change my position I have to lift my legs up and place them to the other side… just like an old lady… I yawn while I free more tears and feel the dream fairy sprinkles some magic dust on my eyelids in order to make them heavy and leisurely, I close them…

I tremble over a frigid touch on my forehead… it's smooth and cold at the same time… then suddenly wet.

"You're fever is still high…" A whispering voice informs me about my condition. It must be Aoi. Yes he is… I open my eyes just to peek a little and besides my cloudy vision, his blonde hair brightens my room. Is it a dream or reality?

"Try to use your nose when you inhale…" I can hear out that trade mark smile from the tinge of his muffled voice.

"Just sleep… you deserve it…" He's caressing my cheek. "Sleeping beauty…" He smiles again but I close my eyes as fast as I can. It must be a dream. I remember on falling asleep after I turned to my left side and picked up the embryo position. Yes, I'm definitely sleeping.

"Kaho… please, forget what I told you a month ago…" His voice is somersaulting a little and I swear that I heard him swallow hard.

.

XXXXXXXXXXX

.

What a crazy dream! Now that he's mentioned our conversation at the end of January, to be precise, it happened before an oral exam while we were waiting for our turn in the office of the professor. How could I forget something like that?

"Kahoko! Stop being nervous! " He said it factually.

But Aoi had right because I was crazy changing the pages in the book and tried to read 6 lines at the same time. I was always tense before an oral exam so I couldn't help it.

"How many chocolate bars have you eaten until now? " He was glaring at my trembling hands, holding a newly revealed chocolate bar from my bag…slightly opened by my fragile fingers. I have read in a magazine that it's good to eat chocolate before an exam because it will stimulate your brain. Well, let's say that I took advantage of the article and tried it in practice!

"This is the third… " I paved my lips with a sour smile and kept reading the book with my notes.

"Let me help you! "

He sidestepped and I found him at my back. I was sitting in a chair and he grabbed my wrists, let the book and pens fell down on my lap and lifted up both of my arms. It was like stretching them and he said:

"Try to reach the ceiling! "

I did as he gently commanded and I elongated my arms as much as I could. It felt so good, like my rushing blood was animated in my veins or even replaced itself and the fresh blood rushed over my body. It was just a small exercise but it helped a lot.

Aoi was still holding my wrists and mildly, he helped me with the stretching part. But out of the blue, his yielding fingertips began moving down on my frozen arms. My skin was on fire but his touches made me self-shocked. What a bold act! His fingers paved my skin with smoothness and left goose bumps after each small step. It was like a timid toddler, experimenting with walking and tumbled many times in the process. His fingers halted halfway and painted minuscule circles on my snow white skin. But Aoi's fingers were not enough! He leaned closer to my shaking frame and his velvet lips skimmed the skin on my left arm while he continued the nerve-wrecking touches on my right arm. Everything was so slow and somehow, I was waiting in anticipation what will happen next. His lips became like carnation petals and created a garland on my bare skin. My body was in a vortex of a frenzied river. At full pelt, I was travelling on the back of the raging waves and my lungs were filled with sweet, but cold water. Breathing was impossible at that moment and my longing had only one purpose: reach the end of the 'river road', fall down on the waterfall and rest in the lurking lake.

"You…"

He whispered against my skin and a thunderbolt stroke in my arms…

"…know…"

The thunderbolt trotted down on my neck with another word what left his lips.

"…how I…"

The electric shock was in my chest, struggling to be free and pressing my muscles with full strength. My heart was like a furious drum and anytime he crooned something, my heart skipped a beat.

"…feel for you…"

The thunderbolt became a thunderstorm and enticed itself to my stomach then lower and lower until my toes. My legs moved like a marionette and Aoi had the strings in his hands. I pressed my thighs against each other and with the last word he hummed, he lighted the dormant embers in my blood.

"…Kahoko…"

His contact with my skin was subtle and innocent but the effect was a raving thunderstorm in my body. I shut my eyes, forced back a lustful moan and I invited myself to see a picture in my mind what was inappropriate at the moment: Len…

Guilt…

Regret…

Meaningless…

Pain…

And now… longing for an unknown passion…

"I'm sorry Kahoko! " Aoi stepped back as he witnessed that I was losing my mind. "I want you to be happy and I know that your heart is already occupied…" His voice was filled with sorrow and resignation.

But what can a girl say in a moment like that? 'Sorry Aoi, you have right… I still like you as a friend…' wait…. Maybe he didn't mean love… maybe he just… lusts me? Who knows…

"Kaji, it's your turn…" Len stepped out of the other room and averted his gaze. He didn't even look at me or ask something. I was merely invisible for him; still I was daydreaming about him and felt guilty to let Aoi touch my arms… who is he to me? He dared to kiss me and then acting like nothing happened! But I would be happy if he acted like nothing happened because he is worse! He's avoiding me and our simplified communication is a pain. Maybe he regretted his deeds and feels shameful… I don't regret the kiss but I …

.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

.

"So please… Kahoko… forget what happened back there. I'm sorry… I'm… whatever! " Aoi's whisper brings me back to reality or to my dream. I'm still not sure but it must be my subconscious.

* * *

I'm alone… and I sense that my body is really heavy. I wiggle on my other side and I keep my eyes closed. I try to dig the memory so deep in my heart and hopefully it will never reach the surface again.

"Kahoko…" What? Another person is here? Or still dreaming? But this is Kazuki… I can hear the playful tone in his masculine voice. I don't know if I should respond or not… Actually, I'm dreaming. I just let it be and go with the waves of this crazy dreamland.

"Do you remember on Valentine's Day? " He whispers and places something cold on my forehead.

.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

.

Valentine's Day… hmmm… it was like 2 weeks ago… and I was going back to class with Kazuki after lunch. We passed by the huge hall of the university and there was an event.

"Do you want to participate? " A blonde guy approached us and his hands were holding a brown sack. "You can win a weekend in Paris for two! " His eyes glistened and tried to convince us.

I lifted up my head to meet Kazuki's face and he was really enthusiastic about the idea. Frankly, it looked fun. But this event was for lovers and we were not a couple.

"Please… Kahoko… it will be fun! " Kazuki pleaded and those innocent, puppy eyes were more than a subconscious manipulation so I just gave up and nodded. It didn't take more than 10 minutes so we had time until our next class.

"Fabulous! " The blonde guy cheered up and pushed the sack into Kazuki's hand. "You know what to do with it! " He winked at Kazuki then left and screamed back. "Be at the start line in 2 minutes! " He giggled and went for another hunt to gather more couples.

"What's going on? " I questioned the green haired boy next to me who was opening the mouth of the sack then let it fall on the ground.

"It's a sack-race! " He was jumping ecstatically and probably his mind was filled with the taste of victory and a weekend in Paris… Like if we didn't spend enough time with Kanazawa sensei in Paris in December…

Wait…WHAT? Sack-race? Are you serious? But there is a problem…

"Eh… Kazuki…" I found a lonesome, brown string on the floor and I picked it up… wow… it's so interesting… a string… so I started to play with it… 'Just please… don't dare to look at my pink cheeks!'

"Yes, Kahoko? He was watching me. I felt his glance was landing on my face and the painted pink color turned into a lobster red.

"Eh… there is only one sack…" Now the string was torn between my fingers… I didn't know I was this strong! Whoa! I tore the string!

"Kahoko…" Here we go… just say it… "This sack is for both of us…" I guess he discovered my problem and yesssssssssssss his face was the same red as mine! At least, I was not alone in the blushing department!

So this happened… on Valentine's Day… after lunch… Kazuki and I participated in a sack-race in a hope of winning a weekend in Paris for two… and there I was… standing in the same sack with Kazuki… our sides were pressing against each other and he was holding my waist…

"Just keep your balance! I will hold you! You just have to keep the pace up with me! When I jump, you also jump…" I forced the information into my brain but I paid more attention on his shaking hands on my waistline and I felt my body was closer and closer to his in each moment.

3

2

1

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kazuki was jumping huge in every second! How could I keep up the pace with him? My feet are smaller and I cannot jump that big! Anyway, I tried my best. I really did. The sack was too tight for two people and I didn't have any other choice just to lean against his waist and place my right hand around his hips.

The sack-race was not enough. They made that 20 meters hell with dodge balls and if one caught you, you were out.

We were at the middle of the track when I got extremely tired and Kazuki grabbed me by my waist.

I don't touch the floor! I don't touch the floor! Oh God I don't touch the floor! ….I panicked… of course I did. Kazuki lifted me up. The height was not much but it was enough for me to be more embarrassed than I was.

I glared at his face and he was smiling fervently when his feet stumbled over the edge of the sack and we both fell on the ground…

I guess that was the point when we lost the battle.

I landed on his body and I couldn't stop laughing. He did the same…. There were no people around us… there was no sack anyone… just us… laughing hard like never before and I felt the joyful tears were playing on my face.

When I opened my eyes, he was watching me…. And he was lost in my lips… I had the feeling that he was about to kiss me… but he just leaned closer to me and kissed my forehead. Thank God! When this happened… _I just saw Tsukimori Len was passing by the area…_

.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

.

"I had so much fun on Valentine's Day…" Kazuki is talking again… he's wiping my forehead with a wet tissue. Oh… I wish I could know if it's a dream or not… My body is still limp and I cannot open my eyes.

I can hear him standing up and his footsteps are fading away…

* * *

Please… I want to stop dreaming! This is insane! Why do I feel somebody is sitting next to me and caressing my earlobe? And… and… and he is coming closer and gently envelops my earlobe between his lips…

"Kaho… I'm grateful that you are sleeping! I smell the innocence in you… hmmmm… "

what the heck is he doing in my dream? I never wanted him to intrude into my privacy!

"Don't forget what I've told you on the carnival a week ago…" He's still on my earlobe and his heaves are giving me a hard time… I should keep up the steady rhythm of my heart.

.

XXXXXXXXXXX

.

Carnival… ahhhh… when we should have worn costumes. He was wearing a Dracula costume and he startled me on the balcony. I was dressed up as a ladybug…

"Do you like the cold, star filled sky? " He started gently…

"Yeah, I do like it… so peaceful…" Just come on… show me the other side of Yunoki Azuma. I know you want something. I mused but kept glaring at the sparkling stars.

"What did you think when you surprised me with a diary and a very fancy pen? "

Here we go… I thought… but I didn't desire to meet his eyes. I just felt sorry for Nami, who was so hopelessly in love with this guy. I have to admit that there's something enticing in this man… but I can't help just love Len with all my heart.

Wait? What did I say? What did I say? I just admitted that I love Len… is it true?

"Maybe in your diary you'll be honest, at least, with yourself…" I chuckled and he hugged me by my back. His lips tasted the skin on my neck and comforted it with some tiny kisses.

I just felt the rushing blood again and I was jumping on huge flower petals. As I jumped one, my stomach filled up with air and the sweet swish surrounded my entire body. His touch was gentle and demanding. I couldn't help just let Len's imagine occupy my mind and erased the sensation of guilt.

"Hmmm I see…fascinating…" He continued talking after a piece of silence. "I know that you're a hopeless romantic woman but you amuse me! " I knew he smirked. And this was his declaration and my longing to slap him because poor Nami was suffering.

.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

.

"I'm glad that you're sleeping… because I can verbalize what I would never do in front of you! Thanks for the diary… you had a point there!" With this last sentence he left the room or my dream and I heard someone else was in next to me.

What kind of crazy dream is it? Come on! Let me wake up!

* * *

A cold hand is on my left cheek…

Another hand is fondling my hot fingers…

And soft lips are skimming my lips…

What? Who dared to kiss me while I'm sleeping?

"Come and pick me! Stop loving that ice cube! You know that I'm better than him! "

KIRIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Well not long time ago he asked who's better in violin… him or Len… and I didn't know what to say… they are both great in a different way. But lately I don't like practicing with him because he became so persuasive and demanding. He also forced a kiss on me! I was not enough strong to push Kiriya back but I didn't give permission to him to enter my mouth! So he had to be satisfied with only lips ad nothing more. Don't even mention the guilt in my heart… when I thought of Len and our wonderful, lustful kiss on the snowy ground in Iceland…

"Hurry up and get better! We should practice more! "

Silence…

Finally… nobody else disturbed my peaceful sleeping… and I stopped dreaming about men… well I wished to see Len in my dream and repeat the kiss one more time even if it's in my fantasy but he didn't come…

* * *

Several hours later, lazily I open my eyes and meet with the dim light in my room. I smell the scent of orange and cinnamon. A small candle is lighted on my desk and… Len is sitting on a chair, next to my bed and reading a book….with eyeglasses on… eyeglasses…what?

"Len…" I mutter but I don't even expect any reaction from him.

"Ah…you're awake. " He states bluntly. But his eyes are still glued to the book.

"Since when you're wearing eyeglasses? " I just woke up and I ask him an inappropriate question…sure, he's not going to answer. So don't be sad Kahoko… it's just Len.

"Since I was a child… " WOW… I had a bad assumption. Miracles happen. But now as I remember… one time I saw him taking out something from his eyes. It must have been contacts.

"I see… " I struggle to sit but I feel better. My head is lighter and also my body can move freely.

"Do you feel better? " Ohhhhh… he cares for me! Tsukimori Len cares for me!

"Thanks I do… besides the crazy dream that I had…" I smile at him but he doesn't look at me.

"There's soup and some cleaned fruits. We prepared them together…" Why doesn't he look at me? Do I look that horrible? I can imagine my uncombed hair and I must be sweating. But…

"Did you help them? " At least we are talking about something…

"I cleaned the vegetables and cut them. " Nice… at least he did something.

I stand up and step closer to him. I'm looking down on his reading figure and with one movement, I take the book away. He's startled and finally, our gaze meets. Is he shocked?

But I can't force my feelings back. I want to touch him and I want him to touch me. I long for a hug and for some nice words.

I just sit astride on his lap and I embrace him by his neck. My head is resting on his left shoulder.

"What's the time? " There's no excuse for my behavior so it's better to change the topic. I can say that my body is still weak.

"It's 11:23 pm… " His voice is trembling and I sense his arms are moving… while he reaches my waist and hugs me back.

"Then it's still the 27th of February… I hate attention and I wanted to spend my birthday without everyone in it. But I realized that the birthday I desired was full with fun and joy with my friends… probably it's too late for that…" I confess. But I feel that finally I can tell him many things and maybe, he will do the same.

"Happy birthday! I didn't know…" Len answers.

"Thanks…"

He hugs me so strong… like he never did before. His head is in the nest of my shoulder and he fondles my back with his fingers. I wish this state would be eternity and I never have to stand up…

True, I don't need to stand up because he stands up with me! My heart is jumping up and down while the butterflies are having a feast in my stomach!

He grabs me by my knees and leans my back against the wall. I meet with the same expression what he had in Iceland. A hungry and lustful wolf is scrutinizing the depth of my orbs then he moves his glance to my lips… I'm between the wall and his body…Len seems to stifle something but I know the sorrow in his eyes. What's this contradiction? Don't force it back! I accept anything you want!

But our idyllic moment is over in a second later when we hear the doorbell…

Len moves from the wall and places my body on the bed. He leaves my room and closes the door with a soft noise.

What a moment to disturb! I was ready for anything! And I wanted everything!

I stand up and I snatch up the book from the desk what he was reading. It's a collection of famous composers.

As I hear the door is opening, my eyes grow wide and subconsciously, I fall the book down. My body can't comprehend any command from my brain. And frankly, this time, I have nowhere to run!

Here stands the man in front of me, who caused several haunting nights for me. He is the man of full of contradictions. The man, who was _almost forgotten_ by my memory… And he is the man from whom I have been running away for 6 years… and now, here he is: leaning against my door, confidence festoons his lips and smirks at my trembling shade. My cunning destiny has found me on my 20th birthday…

"Kahoko! Start packing! We're leaving! "

XXXXXXXXXXXX

* * *

**Thanks for reading! OHHHH guys you made me soooooooooooooooooooooooo happpyyyyyyyyyyyy I'm jumping on my feet right now and imagnie the puppy eyes with starts in them ********************* Million thanks for the reviews! Million and million thanks! Please, keep them coming! They give me so much strength to write!**

* * *

This chapter came later than I expected because I was busy so sorry for the late update! Hope you still enjoy reading my story! Now we have arrived to more drama but I will try to put some humor in it, and of course... fluff and romance ;)

So what do you think who is the late guest? I think it's kind of obvious but still nah :D

I wrote a lot and there are more descriptions in this chapter than in the previous ones. Hope you don't get bored with my long chapters!

* * *

You know if you are a continuous reader, I MUST hear your opinion! I want to feel close to my readers so any suggestions or you can tell me what was bad or good in the chapter! I gladly accept any criticism because I want to be better! Though I try my best every time and I enjoy writing a lot!

* * *

**Next issue: Kahoko's past ;)**

You know what to do, I know you want it... review click XD


	16. There is no antidote

**Roommates**

**Chapter 16: There is no antidote**

* * *

What did she think?

I'm sure she doesn't see me as a man! Unless her purpose was something else… but I doubt that she had ulterior motives.

Then why?

Why did she stand up in that short shirt… her body was covered in sweat… her complexion was sallow and her entire silhouette was vulnerable and innocent. It was the ultimate torture… for my fragile composure.

_Ding dong_

The second time I hear the doorbell. Who could it be at this hour?

I'm roaming in the living room with no destination… I almost forgot about the late visitor… It must be some of the guys… Kaji… Kazuki… Etou… or maybe Azuma. But it's not his style to disturb people this late. Kazuki must be worried about Kahoko so it can be him. On the other hand, Etou has the guts to come here at this hour.

Why should I have witnessed their bold acts towards Kahoko? That bastard Etou even kissed her pure lips! What did he think? She was sleeping and was really worn out… taking advantage of a sleeping girl is not so gentlemanly. The sight was like an arrow is flying from the dark, riding the wind and soundlessly approaches my soul and breaks it into tiny pieces.

But why would I care?

I just can't forget many things that happened between us in the last weeks…

As a start, even if I wanted to forget… I just couldn't. Being a traitor and causing pain to Kahoko are just too much to handle. I kissed her… I kissed the girl who gives happiness to my only friend. I don't deserve to be called a 'friend' anymore. But I just couldn't help it! She is just setting down sweet traps all around my body and I… I stepped into them so easily without realizing the situation.

My first kiss… and somehow I loved it! I couldn't have heard my own heartbeat! It was too loud! It didn't form a recognizable melody when I conquered her lips for the very first time. But after that, the storm calmed down and the cords of our hearts played an amiable tune…

_Ding dong_

I have decided to open the door… at least I chase him away! But when I push the doorknob down… I glare at the person in front of me… and I would have never expected him knocking on my door! Never!

WHAT IS AKIHIKO KIRA DOING HERE?

"Good evening… you must be … wait… " He is gazing at the ceiling in the corridor. Don't tell me he doesn't remember my name! I won all of the music competitions in the school! He handed many trophies over me with much pride in his eyes!

"Ah… you're Hamai Misa's son, Tsuki… Tsukimori! " I flinch and hesitate what to do. Why is he here?

"Hn…" A slight tilt of my head signals that I agree with him. Should I ask him in?

"Where's Kahoko? " I don't need to… his determined look is more than obvious. What does he want from Kahoko?

"She's in her room… the first door on the left hand side." I guide him in and without thinking, he steps out briskly and the principal is already standing at the doorstep.

_"Kahoko! Start packing! We're leaving! "_ His hoarse, manly voice echoes in the empty corridor.

I was ready to let her go after our first encounter in the bathroom. I was ready to let her go after I dared to kiss her… _Am I ready now?_

I reach where Akihiko Kira is and stare at the shaking shadow of Kahoko. She is holding my book… but suddenly, the object meets with the floor, leaving a thud noise behind. Kahoko kneels down and her hands are gently enveloping her tear stained face.

"Aki… Akihiko…" She whispers but I can clearly hear her lament. Tears are uncontrollably abandoning the valley of her eyes… He steps closer and sits next to her.

"It's OK… I know it must be a shock…after 6 years… but… we should go… " He's tenderly patting her shoulder and from his previous smirk, he changes to a radiant smile.

Nobody dares to ask why 'we should go'… but I feel another dark arrow in my heart.

"She had high fever all day long…" I add this small comment. He should know about her condition. She still looks weak.

He's touching her forehead and she shivers.

"I'm fine…" She admits but it must be a lie. She moves a little forward to avert Kira's hand but it's too late. His hand is checking her temperature.

"She doesn't have fever so take a shower and start packing. We have a plane to catch!" He stands up and closes the door.

* * *

It's been like 2 hours that she is occupying the bathroom… and this silence between me and the principal is really awkward.

"Do you have something strong to drink? " He questions me with piercing eyes.

"No. I don't have alcoholic beverages. Maybe I still have a little wine what Ka…Hino used for cooking. " Probably this is my longest sentence during our conversation. I was hesitant using her given name in front of Kira.

"Kahoko? Cooking? What a nice joke! " He grins and finally Kahoko is ready. I just stare at her forced smile and feel like _tentatively touching the thorns of a black rose and never reach its silk petals. _

"I'm ready…" She bends her head, slightly playing with the edge of the bag.

"OK… go ahead. There is a taxi waiting. "

She doesn't question him just follows his instructions like a docile student. Anyway, what is their relationship? They have an impenetrable, strange aura around them…

"Tsukimori-kun! Thanks for everything! " She is standing on her tiptoes and leaning against my body. A feather kiss is landing on my cheek and she pulls back. So she stopped using my name.

_A faint smile…_

_A faint fragrance in the room…_

_A shadow of a pearl white scarf and … she is gone… and I didn't even say good-bye…_

"Hey… It's really pathetic just to look at you. Get a grip of yourself! Did she tell you anything about her past? " Kira is penetrating into my soul with a sharp glance. Was it that obvious how I looked at the expanding distance between me and Kahoko?

I just avert my head…

"I guess it's a no. It's not like you said anything to her. How're your burn… and your eyes? "

How does he know about my problems? I don't even remember… it happened a long time ago and I was a baby…

"I'm just fine… " I'm still not meeting his eyes.

"There! Read this and you'll understand that _you don't have a place in her life_! "

* * *

He is also gone… and my eyes are glued to the closed door… my hand is occupied with a thick book… what's in my hand anyway?

It's a dairy… and it seems to be Akihiko Kira's diary. Why did he give me this? Like if I care or I would read other people's privacy. Forget it.

I hurl it to the sofa and head to my room… but before I reach my door, I open Kahoko's room and enter…

The tiny candle still beams in the complete darkness… Light cinnamon and vanilla are swirling in the stuffy air.

Empty closet…

Empty desk…

Covered bed… but somehow I can sense her presence… that fragile smile burns on my face…

She's been gone since yesterday and it feels like years… somehow I've began sleeping on her bed, unconsciously hugging her pillow and I had million questions in my mind without answers. The most troublesome is discovering my feelings for her but it would be better to bury them…

The worried males visited me to check on the sick girl who was my roommate some hours ago and they were in shock to witness the empty room. Only Kazuki stayed with me for some days.

I found myself glaring at the diary whenever I crossed the living room and also Kazuki pointed out that I should read it.

"You don't lose anything! He offered! He must have had a reason! " His painful expression is killing me but I couldn't tell him about my sins and failing to be his friend. After all, I always had right when I stated that I don't need friends. I'm better being off alone!

I just kept shaking my head with closed eyes… but after a while I gave up and touched the dark blue velvet cover of the book.

.

.

In the first page there was a photo of Kahoko and Kira… She must be like 12 years old while Kira is above 20… this is my best guess. A line is written under the photo:

_"I've been searching for this sickness for several years but I had to reveal that there is no antidote!"_

What sickness?

Should I continue? Whatever… if I started… I must finish it.

**_January 12, 2011_**

_I've been pondering on the fact to write these memoirs or not, but I have the urge to do it because maybe one day, she will read it or it will be useful for something. It's still better to engrave my words into this diary because my fragile, childlike thinking way was easily deceived and now I recollect the past happenings with clean mind and heart. The time is close when I'll be reunited with her… how will she look at me? Regret? Sadness? Fear? Disdain?_

He has written this not long time ago…

**May 1, 1991 **

This was the day when my life had changed drastically. I was an eleven year old boy with full of love for life and desire for challenging myself. Smile never left my lips and I was ready to enjoy each moment! But sometimes it's better to leave things like they were and I have to admit that eavesdropping is a serious sin!

"Ah, thanks for coming! I've been waiting for you! " My father greeted a light blue haired woman. Her long frame was pretty and looked really gentle. A long black dress covered her body and she leaned closer to my father to shake hands.

"It's been two months. I'm sorry that I couldn't come earlier! " She sat at the couch and she had something really tiny in her arms. For the first look, I thought it was a doll.

"Misa-san… I…" My father's voice was fading, a small crack revealed his sorrow.

"That's OK… I'm the one who should say that… I'm deeply sorry for your loss! " A transparent diamond formed in her eyes.

"Hn… I'm also sorry for your loss. How have you been? How's your son? " Full concern mirrored in his tone and stared at the woman who was silently crying.

"Thank you! Len is getting better. He survived and only small burns left behind. His eyes… well he will need eyeglasses but it's not that serious… " Her heaves were uneasy and more tears nipped down on her pale skin.

"It's good to hear that he's fine. And what will we do about her? " My father sat next to the lady and gently lifted up the 'doll'. The baby started crying.

"I'm sorry… I thought I can take care of her, but… too many memories bind me to her and I need time to… " She was caressing the cheeks of the baby.

"No problem. It's the same for me but I feel that Akihiko… can survive with her. "

The baby stayed in our house and my father called for me when the blue haired lady was gone.

"Akihiko! See! " He placed the baby on my laps and a pair of glistening gilded eyes peered into mine. Her hair was red, like fresh and sweet strawberries. She was not smiling… she was stunned and scared.

"Who is she? " She grabbed my index finger and I let her play with it. "Is she my sister? " How innocent I was. In the previous conversation I could have just heard that my father lost someone just like that woman and I thought that the baby was my sister.

"No. She is not your sister. But she is your princess! " My father covered his sadness with a bright smile but his eyes told several lies.

"My princess? " It was the time for me to be dazzled. I was not that young to believe in fairy tales anymore but the words of fairies, princes and princesses caught my attention. Anytime I was reading tales, princesses were always poor and unhappy but they were smiling in their miseries. This baby was not shining… just weeping with wide open eyes.

"Do you want to name her? " His hands patted my head; his mask was still on his expression.

"Doesn't she have parents who could give her a name? " I longed for naming her but the logic was dictating something else. Usually, parents choose their children's names.

"She doesn't have parents… you'll be her prince! " I gulped and didn't understand what my father meant with the previous statement.

"Then I shall call her Kahoko, just like mommy! " My father looked away and I swear, I saw his eyes forming a mirror membrane on his eyes.

"We will call her Kahoko! "

"Dad… where's mommy? " Deep in my heart, I was aware of the answer but I couldn't have comprehended it and I needed my father's white lies.

"She's is in a wonderful place and she had one wish for you: continue playing the violin! "

Hino Kahoko

My father didn't give her our family name; later on I was informed that her mother's name was Hino.

I've gained a princess and lost a mother…

**Summer, 1996**

The years had passed quickly and she had become a cute little girl. She was more a sister than a princess to me. She always had a forced smile and when she was alone, she had a hard expression with sadness in her eyes. She was crying almost every day. It was the hardest task to make her smile.

"What happened in school? " I was walking her home after classes. She had red bunny eyes and shaking lips.

"They… they say they don't want to play with me because I don't have a mom or a dad…" She whimpered but I picked her up above my head and she was screaming.

"Onii-chan, put me down! Put me down! "

"I told you several times that I'm not your brother!" I couldn't help it. She was calling me brother since she could have pronounced her first words. I knew I frightened her but it was still better than watching her crying. "Do you see those puffy clouds? " I pointed to the cerulean sky.

"Yes! They look like cotton candy! " Her doleful lips curved up into a wry smile and she imagined the sweet candy in her mouth.

"Try to touch them with your hands! " She was stretching her arms and after some minutes she gave up.

"I can't… they are too far…" Her voice cracked again and I panicked.

"Let's go and buy real cotton candy! " She cheered up and I did everything for her just to see that tenuous smile on her pretty face.

"Shinobu! Let's play hide and seek! "

It was a sultry summer evening when one of my friends visited us with his mother. He was five years younger than me but we attended to the same violin class with Kahoko. It was strange because she was never a normal child. She held a violin earlier in her hands than a doll. She was shy and she didn't interact much with her classmates.

"OK Kahoko! But try to hide in a very good place! I want to enjoy playing and seeking for you! "

"I don't want to play this children's game! " I pouted and I really believed that playing hide and seek at the age of 16 was not so manly.

"Onii-chan… please…" Kahoko pleaded and I was defeated with one puppy look. I was sure what she wanted. When we played hide and seek, she was tagging along with me and hiding together. That time was not an exception. We hid in a big wardrobe in the living room but I wished we had never done it!

"Onii-chan… it's dark and hot…" She complained and I put my index finger in front of her lips.

"Ssssss…. You don't want to be discovered, do you? " I reprimanded and she remained silent in my arms. I placed my hands on her heart and calmly humming a melody for the rhythm of her beating.

"Ousaki-san, I'm happy that you've come today with your son. Kahoko is always cheerful whenever they play together. "

My father and Shinobu's mother were chatting animatedly in the living room and we were quietly listening to them. I felt the urge to run away with Kahoko and hide somewhere else, but it was too late. I had a bad premonition that eavesdropping would lead people to a guilty conscious.

"Not at all… You know that I pity that child… Nobody wants her… she is not needed. " She sipped the top of her tea and watched my father.

"She's still a child and… it was not her fault. " My father was looking at the Chinese vase on the desk…

"I know… but it must be hard for you. That child caused 3 people's death with her birth. And almost killed Hamai Misa and her son… " The woman was surprisingly calm and I started to understand her words.

Kahoko's small body begun trembling in my arms and my hands were receiving a hot shower from her eyes.

"Your wife… Hamai Misa's unborn child and Hino Hitomi, her mother… "

I welcomed the salty drops and I was crying with Kahoko. She didn't understand much from the conversation but I did. They were blaming Kahoko for…

My mother…

Gently, I pushed Kahoko away and I opened the door of the old wardrobe. My father and the woman were stunned and everyone let Kahoko run out of the room.

I stopped playing the violin and I didn't talk to Kahoko for a half year… the smiling boy with full of desire for life was no longer living in my eyes…

**Winter, 1996**

"Akihiko! " My dad was sitting at his desk in our family library.

"Yes father…" I sat next to him but never looked up at him.

"Stop avoiding Kahoko… she doesn't deserve your silent treatment! " He continued signing tons of papers and sighed. "Listen… I'm aware of your feelings but it's NOT her fault. She's still a child. "

"I know… but it's hard… " I was playing with a pen in my hand. Making the annoying clicks calmed me down.

"She is your princess and soon you'll have to take care of her. "

"What? "

"You'll move to London as soon as you graduate from high school and she will go with you. You'll attend cooking classes! "

What a sick joke! I can't take care of a child!

Since that day, I was learning cooking, how take care of a household, paying bills, using bank accounts and preparing for my departure with Kahoko. I was assigned to study educational leadership.

**December, 1998**

"Akihiko! Come here! "

Father loved Kahoko. It was painful for him, just like for me. But we still loved her and I tried to please her. I never smiled with full heart again and our places had changed. She was the one who struggled to cheer me up all the time and miserably failed with each attempt. Father loved Kahoko… but from far… and it was for the best to move to London and let my wings grow…

"Yes… " I was moody and I hated when Kahoko was playing the violin. I only practiced with my mother. She taught me everything about music but she was long gone… and my father was showing me Kahoko… who was standing next to the lake in the garden and playing with her heart. It was magnificent!

"Before your departure… I want to give you some advices how to treat a woman! " He winked at me and I didn't respond.

"She's only 8… " I pretended to be uninterested in the topic but he insisted.

"She's already a woman and you'll see when you come back to sit in the chair of the principal of Seiso Gakuen, she will be a wonderful princess. "

I nodded and still didn't find the topic significant.

"OK… so 5 rules that you have to remember! Only 5! "

**First rule:** When a woman says FINE, they end an argument and they have right. You should stop talking.

**Second rule:** 5 minutes! Take your time, she is changing. Normally count like 30 minutes.

**Third rule:** When a woman says NOTHING, it's the lull before the storm. Usually, nothing means everything so something is wrong, and you have to be on your tiptoes! Arguments that begin with NOTHING, usually ends with FINE.

**Fourth rule:** If she says GO AHEAD, it's a dare and not a permission. Don't do it!

**Fifth rule:** If she sighs loudly that means that she thinks you are an idiot and she wonders why she is wasting her time with you arguing.

After all, my father's small rule book was useful because she was only 8 but had already behaved as a woman.

Time had passed fast and she really became beautiful… I earned my degree and we were ready to move back to Japan during the **summer of 2005**. That tiny sister love had grown into something deeper and I wanted to protect her… mostly against other men. I was strict with her and I made her cling on me all the time.

"Where are you going? " I asked her before she could have opened the entrance door.

"I'm meeting with my friends…" She answered hastily and already put on her shoes.

"It's 8 pm… and it's dark outside. Want me to give you a ride? " She was 14… and we were in Japan. I just started to take over the school from my father and looked after Kahoko at the same time. She was about to transfer to the school.

"No thanks… I'm fine!" She was at the door, waiting for me to approach her. "I don't need your permission to go out! " She playfully stuck out her tongue at me and I grabbed her hand and closed her in my arms. I was scared to lose her. _My love had turned into possession and she was frightened. _

"I don't let you go! It's too late or maybe I can make you company! " She frowned and surrendered.

On the day of her transfer I was in my office, waiting for her to come and arrange the necessary papers. But I didn't expect her to scream and run away. I had no idea what happened. She just burst into my room and shouted that she didn't want to transfer.

I believed that I didn't hear her well but when I realized her words, she was running out and I didn't catch up with her. I thought that she'll be at home, resting when I arrive but her room was empty…

She moved to New York, alone! I called her several times and struggled to convince her to come back or let me go there but she refused. She wanted to be alone. I provided her with money and I was planning to visit her every month but she moved from apartment to apartment and I never caught her.

Kahoko got fed up with my over protective behavior and moved to London after she finished high school in New York. I was following her but she made a move and the next time I tracked her, she was in Vienna…

_She will be 20 in some weeks… and time has come for a new reunion… her silent destiny approached her… _

* * *

I've been drinking wine during I was reading Akihiko Kira's diary… and I'm speechless… I'm not sure how to react but he had right… I have no place in her life… so I would have had a sibling… and I've got my burn because of her… hard to believe and I don't care that much to question my mother. It must be hurting for her…

Kahoko's smile was always stunning and I was blind not to see the depths of her lament. First I only desired her appearance and discovered the sleeping lust in myself but later on, this feeling turned into something else…

I witnessed how Kazuki fell in love with her for the first time. Those gentle touches and eye contacts were the pure evident of his love. And when it comes to me… I'm clueless how I really feel for her.

_Ding dong_

Who can it be?

"Len, are you all right? You didn't answer your phone! "

Kazuki… he's the only one who's interested in me…

"I guess I was sleeping…" _Always say sorry and thank you_…these were her rules…"Sorry… and thank you for coming. "

"Not at all… did you sleep again in her room?" He enters Kahoko's room and glares at the used blanket.

"Hn…" I feel my cheek is getting hot. Why am I embarrassed?

_"Len… it's OK to love her, but… it's not OK to let her go! "_ He winks at me and pats my shoulder while he's passing by.

I'm taciturn again…

Hihara Kazuki… who's my only friend… and who's suffering more than me because of Kahoko… gives me an advice that must be more painful than anything for his heart.

Thank you…

"I can't do anything… " I whisper and close the door behind him.

* * *

I miss her presence and her smile. Surprisingly, I yearn for her flavorless food and for those tiny smiles with she granted me when I talked. I miss her heartfelt music and I miss the tinge of her voice… the tone that she used when she said my name: Len… I miss the wolf… that she awakened inside of me… those lustful moments when I forced myself back… and I miss that luscious kiss…

It's pitiful that I discover my feelings after she left. But I don't care… She doesn't belong here! And most importantly she doesn't feel the same way… I'm still a little insecure but I'm not gonna push it forward.

_She flew above a frozen rose… Hinted it with a sweet nectar…tainted with a delicious poison and it's true… that there is no antidote for this sickness… _

* * *

.

* * *

Thanks for reading and waiting for my update! You give me so much happiness with the reviews and favorite story! You, my dear Readers, make me feel that actually I'm a good writer -what I'm not- but I enjoy writing this story and you make me happy!

**Million thanks for the reviews and I'm sorry for the late update!** I believe you don't want to hear my excuses and keep track on my weekdays but like almost everyone here, I was very busy! And if it's possible, please don't mention cakes and birthdays hahahahhaha

* * *

**My previous chapter maybe was too much... I was too emotional in it.. well I believe if someone has a fever, the person can see things differently and feel differently so I'm sorry if I crossed the line! It's a T rated story and hope I didn't exceeded it! I didn't mean it! Actually nothing has happened in it, I was just more detailed. Please let me know if something was wrong with it!**

* * *

About this chapter (I started writing at 10 pm and I posted it before 2 am lol I should get going to sleep...) well, I tried my best not to make it too dramatic. As I warned you earlier, we have arrived to the drama part... It's not gonna be much more... and I know I skipped some parts of the past (I try to not bore you to death with long descriptions and unnecessary information) but of course, there will be a part when Kahoko and Len will have a conversation about their pasts.

I was thinking a lot how to write this chapter and I promised to myself that I will never rewrite a chapter and this time I didn't do it, so I'm proud of myself. Usually, the first idea is always the best. If not, please let me know :P Akihiko was a tough cookie for me. I didn't dare to write his POV so I put it in a diary where people normally give themselves in an easy way. I used simplified vocabulary since people don't write elaborate thoughts in diaries. He is a well educated principal but he is loyal to himself in his diary. Hope you liked the part... I'm a little bit insecure with it...

SOOOOO Len finally realized... XD

**Please, reviewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!** I need to know how I did this chapter... I know there is no fluff and sorry but... you have to deal with me in this chapter :P

Like 5 more chapters and I will complete the fiction... I feel sad and happy at the same time... but I have 3 new plots and I'll make a poll which one would be good to write down :P

* * *

Next issue: Kahoko's POV... ;)


	17. Ocean of faces yet one drop…

**Roommates**

**Chapter 17: Ocean of faces yet one drop…**

* * *

Different scents titillate my senses… fresh egg, bacon, milk, butter, bread… sounds like a morning feast! Hmmmm… it's so delicious and so alluring! Should I open my eyes? Which one is more tempting: lazing under the warm, soft blanket or follow the fragrance of food and let my lupine instinct lead me?

Grrrr… I rumble when I can perceive the loud noise of the blender but it only means one thing: somebody is preparing a shake!

OK… let just lift up my eyelids for one millimeter: hazy… and lazy! Maybe I can see the bridge of my nose but that blender is annoying. One more millimeter won't hurt, in case I still have the moment to close my eyes!

Eh? When Len painted this room in beige color? It's pretty! But I remember that the walls were white.

For the surprise, I fully open my eyes and look around. The ceiling is really high and I don't think that Len had a crystal chandelier in this room. Also, did we change the curtain? The color was simple light blue with lace at the bottom. But this one has a rich cream hue and it looks… silky. The feeble sunrays shine through the material and make it glisten against the light walls.

My desk was always under the double winged window but… instead of the desk, there's only a white leather armchair. My desk is not found in this room…

I sit up and begin stretching my arms above my head. I clip my fingers together and feel the muscles are shaking. When did I buy new bedclothes? Didn't I have a blanket with flower pattern? Then why do I have a simple shining gold cover?

Everything looks so… unfamiliar. I quickly forget about closing back my eyes and I land on my feet. Actually, there is an enormous, fancy mirror on the right hand side… Oh great, my hair is terrible. How could I sleep like that? Why do I have the wrinkles from the pillow on my face? What a nice print… whatever…

I slouch to the door and push down the door handle. It's the living room and it's so dark. What's the time? It was daylight in my room… then why all the smoky colored curtains are hiding the splendor of the sun?

Grrrbbbrrrrrr….. Ah! The blender… again! Is Len preparing breakfast? How rare… usually he goes with a simple coffee…

My feet are freezing on the chilly marble floor… with each step, I'm closer to the kitchen… I rub my eyes with my index fingers and widely open them when I stare at a blue haired boy in the kitchen…

"Good morning! " I scoop to his direction where he's standing in front of the kitchen counter. I hug him so tightly and let his scent permeate into my body.

My vision comes back to reality when I touch the delicate suit on him and discover his tie and neatly ironed shirt. I look up to meet his face and find the blue hair is vanished, replaces it with a shade of darker blue locks…

He is not Len…

He is Akihiko Kira… my brother. I mean… not that kind of brother. But I consider him as a brother. He was always there for me and literally, he raised me up.

"Onii-chan…" He welcomes me with that ageless, meek smile which curves his lips from right to left. This is the smile that I've known for several years. This is the first smile that I've ever seen…

"Kahoko…" He whispers as he circles his arms around my hips and leans his head on my shoulder. "I'm not your brother…" I return the smile and hang my fingers on his shirt.

Did I miss him? I don't want to lie but yes, I missed him. I missed his masculine scent and his overprotective words. I missed his reprimanding anytime I did something outrageous or simply, when I was careless and I made him worried. He didn't deserve my childish behavior back then.

But why did I mistake him for Len?

Len seized my consciousness and I can't get away with my own power. His existence has become greater in my heart than Akihiko… Though, I can't compare the two men in my life. This searing pain in my chest is unbearable… for Len, I don't mean anything…while Akihiko always cared for me. But it's still hurting. The experience is just too fresh to be able to forget about it.

"Let's eat breakfast! You still like the European style, don't you? "

The dining table is wonderful! The tablecloth is silky, light mint colored and a cherry blossom tree is painted on it with white color. There is a bouquet of lily in a dark green vase, tinged with pitch black flowers on it. Simple white plates surround the modern, wood dining table and the food is appealing for my stomach…

Scrambled eggs, fried bacon and sausages, fresh Italian baguette, rich margarine, ham and salami, a plate only for vegetables like vine tomatoes and spring onions… while another plate is dedicated only for fruits: orange, banana, mango, strawberry and grapes. A smaller plate is decorated with 5 different type of cheese.

A cute tea-pot is next to the vase. The hot tea's scent is lingering in the room… I remember this fragrance: it's our 'fireplace'! When we lived in London, this was our favorite taste. It's a little bit sour yet it leaves a sweet flavor on the tip of your tongue after it runs down on your throat. It has many different types of berries in it with cloves and cinnamon.

"Do you want honey and lemon in your tea? " I just nod while I feast my eyes on the delicious menu.

He lets go of my hips and suddenly, I don't feel the security that he beams over me. I don't welcome the coldness around me but he is preparing my tea.

Len would never do something like this…

"What's wrong? " His concerned gaze breaks the delicate shield over my heart… He always had a sixth sense when something was wrong…

"It's…nothing…" I try to wear my best smile…

"Kahoko… you know better than this… when you say nothing, it means everything! "

These stupid rules about a woman… men think if they set rules for women they will know us better… but they are way too wrong! It's true that nothing means everything, but it also refers to a secret… a secret that we don't want to reveal. In other words, I just don't desire to talk about it. It's not like he will understand me even if I open my heart…

He pushes the chair for me, just like a photo of a real gentleman. As soon as I sit down, I grab a piece of mango and I totally forget about the shake…

We take our breakfast in silence… our communication is limited… we are cautious not to bring up the topic about the past… maybe I'm not ready for that.

I nibble on a little piece of blueberry jam with Brie cheese when he grumbles something surprising.

"He will hate you… " His eyes are lazing on the vapor of the tea… somewhere lost in time and space…

"What do you mean? " Who did he refer to?

"Tsukimori… if he gets to know the truth, he will hate you for sure… " A brief of silence follows his sighs. "It's better for you to forget about him…" Another deep sigh…

"I don't understand… " I'm really clueless. What is he talking about? What truth? And why does he think that I have feelings for him?

"You looked at him with that sorrowful expression. The mirror membrane on your eyes was cracked… you were at your limits… I can read you pretty well. "

He sips a little from the tea then puts down the cup… He leans on the table and grabs my hands…

I'm shaking…

Was it that obvious?

"Kaho… I guess you are enough matured to understand what happened 20 years ago. The holes in time should be filled in…"

No… I'm not matured. I'm still that clumsy, little girl who I was… nothing has changed. But yes, something has altered… my heart!

He growls out a refusal and keeps my hands in his. His thumbs are fondling my palms.

"OK… you don't want to know it… well, we should get going. You slept a lot after the flight and we have to deal with your transfer papers. I'm also late… but that's OK. My secretary is arranging everything. Just take a bath and change clothes. "

He stands up and starts cleaning up the table.

"I help you! " I pick up some plates but he takes them away.

"Just go and take a shower! " With a rapid move, he envelops me in his big arms again. "I wish you would think of me as a man, and not as a brother…" His words are too low, I didn't understand all.

"Did you say something? " He lifts up my head by my chin. He caresses the soft skin with the tip of his fingers and he bends his knees to reach my height. Akihiko's face is reaching closer to mine. The air is becoming torrid when his lips lands at the corner of my mouth. A tender kiss is sealed and he pulls back.

"I hope I could leave a little 'me' in you…" He smirks and continues cleaning up. "Don't stand there! Get going! Ah… you're blushing like a little high school student! Come on! You're an adult now! "

But I can't help it… just stand and stare… I'm dumbfounded and what am I staring at? Probably the big nothing is in front of my eyes but it seems so interesting. My heart is in tiny pieces and Len occupies my mind…

"Tell me everything! I want to know!" I tug his shirt and Akihiko averts his head to the window.

"Are you sure…?" Now he is insecure… I also feel the same but… I cannot run away anymore. I should face it and maybe I can overcome…

"Yes! " Did I dribble enough confidence in my voice? Or is it lacing with full of doubts?

"Your feelings hindered me from talking about the past but it's inevitable…" His broody words make me repress my senses and gush into tears, but I should wait… I will cry for sure… "I'm not going to tell you a long-winded version of it…"

How can he be so…demure? After all, he is 11 years older than me… a responsible adult… not like me.

"I don't want to bring up your miff, so … let's begin… "Akihiko takes my palms and I trail after him to the living room where we sit on the sofa. He doesn't let go of my hands, just make them rest on his laps.

"I'm listening!" I exclaim and I try my best to stay calm.

"Did you know that your mother was the best friend of my mother? " He strikes the question to my eyes… the arrow is flying through the murky room and penetrates into my heart. They were friends?

"Don't look at me with those eyes… you wanted to hear, didn't you? " I just nod but not even an eyelash moves.

"Well, first they were rivals, but this rivalry turned into a wonderful friendship between two women. They had become sisters. My mother never believed that somebody was better playing the violin than her, until your mother made her debut in the classical world at the age of 16."

He has transfixed his sight to my face and patiently waits for my reaction.

"Then she was a prodigy!" I had knowledge of my mother, not much, but I never imaged that she was this fantastic with the violin. I feel ashamed…

"Yes, she was. She made my mother tremble in fears that she would lose her position… and also… there was a third woman in the case… who had become best friends with Kira Kahoko and Hino Hitomi! "

Kira Kahoko? Akihiko's mother? She had the same given name…

"Hamai Misa… she was the accompanist of your mother… " His voice has cracked, tumbled over an enormous obstacle when he vocalized the name of Len's mother. She knew my mother…

"Tsukimori-kun's mother? " I question the obvious but it's still unbelievable.

"Yes… his mother. OK, before we go deeper in the topic, let me talk about Lili… " He's caressing my hands and shoots an amiable smile at me.

Lili! Did I run away because of that… 'fairy'? What kind of destiny is it?

"I'm sure you met him. So your mother did. When she was like 5, her golden heart granted Hitomi with a golden string. It's the same string on your violin. I replaced it when I bought your first violin. " He leans back on the sofa and urges me to do the same.

"It's not new for me. I was always having my mother's string. So it's from Lili…" Fairies… golden strings… can it be magical?

"The string helps you to spread the music of your heart. It helps you to make music appealing for others. But it doesn't help you with your practice and it's not gonna play the songs in place of you! It doesn't give you talent! " He assures me and frankly, I'm happy for this reason. I was afraid that my talent only comes from the string.

"Lili didn't make a good job creating the string, it has defects and he couldn't correct them. It has to change owners in every 20 years… " He heaves… and looks daggers at me.

"What happens if…" Did my mother present somebody with the string?

"I'm not sure what happened… but many people died before they could give the string to somebody else. Lili's intentions were sharing this knowledge with you before you ran away…"

Akihiko's expression is crossly now… does he still hold grudges against me because of my careless actions? Or did I make him worried?

"I see… but I still have time, don't I? " I'm not satisfied with my life… but I feel I need to do something…

"Sure… you do. Your mother never gave it to anyone. Don't you feel some kind of greediness when you play your violin? Doesn't it possess your senses and heart? I guess your mother wanted to keep the string only for herself. " He is reading my expression and…

"Don't misunderstand! Your mother was a wonderful woman. Kind and nice… warm hearted and peaceful. But we are humans, and we are not sinless! She loved her violin and the string."

Now that he mentions this… that string always sparkles anytime I touch her. My eyes reflect the small glistening stars and I let them guide me… It's like a personal drug… it's never enough and it never gives full satisfaction. Just keep playing and playing… yearnings for more emotions derive through its hypnotic praying.

"Did it cause my mother's…" I gulp… I really don't want to hear this…

"I'm not sure… but it happened 20 years ago… She was pregnant with you… like one and a half month left till her due date. Hamai Misa was also pregnant…with Tsukimori's sister. She was 6 month pregnant at that time. "

What? Len never told me he has a sister!

"I don't understand…" I pronounce my doubts but… why would Len hate me if he knows the truth?

"My mother and Hitomi had a duet in the opera, Hamai Misa and her son visited them in the changing rooms when suddenly, the building burst into flames. "

This is how… she lost her life… in the fire… now I know… it's… it's… horrible…

Akihiko wipes away the warm, forming river on my cheeks. I'm crying… and somehow my heart feels lighter. Until now, it was chained down, under my ribs. I covered it with a thick shield and refused to gain knowledge. I refused to fill those holes in it… but now! I liberated the chains and my heart is floating in my body… it's finally free!

"My mother's self sacrifice… saved Hamai Misa and Tsukimori… also, almost your mother… but she breathed in too much smoke and didn't make it to the hospital. It was a miracle that you could have been born! Your life was in danger for like 2 months. You were a premature baby…"

He's waiting… he hugs me tightly but I should be strong. I should listen until he finishes.

"Please… continue…" I sniffle and my voice is trembling.

"Are you sure? " Oh, God… this man… "Tsukimori got a burn on his… well… it's exactly under his left waist. Many fire sparks entered his eyes, and almost lost his sight. He went through several operations… he was not even 1 year old. Hamai Misa lost the child… and… I lost my mother."

He is trembling in my arms. He struggles to swallow down a ball in his throat and I know, he forces back his tears.

So it was my fault… everything was my fault…

"Hamai Misa wanted to raise you up… she took care of you for some months, but… too many memories held her to you, so she gave up and brought the baby to my father."

I killed my mother, Akihiko's mother and an unborn baby. Everybody wanted to save me…. And these sacrifices were in vain… Even Len received a mark and bad sight. How would he forgive me for all of these?

"Do you… hate me?" The question that bothers my mind… but I don't need the answer. It's obvious that Akihiko hates me. He should have talked about his feelings when he referred to Len.

"I named you after my mother. But… I didn't know the truth until I was like 16… I overheard a conversation and questioned my father afterwards. That was the time when I stopped playing the violin… and… I was a teenage boy without a mother. I was deeply hurt and it was easier for me to blame someone. This someone was you… later I realized my mistakes and prayed for your forgiveness because I hated a little girl who was not at fault. I'm sorry…"

He embraces me more tightly and I return it with full strength. It was hard for him but he still loved me and took care of me. When I was sick, he was there and cured me. When I had problems with studies or classmates, he taught me and acted as my real brother… I was his everything and I didn't value him!

"I love you so much… Hino Kahoko… you were never mine… yet I acted like I was everything for you."

"I love you too, Onii-chan! Thank you for being you! Thank you for your smiles! Thank you for your caring words! Thank you for protecting me! Thank you… for everything! I don't deserve your love…" I gush into tears again…

"Go and take a bath… I'll get going soon… take a day off and rest"

His ivory face shines against my skin when he whispers a tiny kiss on my cheek. What are those feelings in his eyes? Regret? Disappointment? Why?

"Thank you!" I stand up and head to the bathroom… this is his apartment. I remember now… after the flight we came here, not to his father's house. How could I forget?

* * *

The hot water drops soothe my mind and along with the sound of the shower, I can hear a violin is… crying and praying. It's Akihiko. He hasn't played the fiddle for like 15 years… his heart must have been locked away, just like mine. Now he is free from the debt of the past… The notes are unhinderably killing each fragment of memory.

When I go to the living room, I find an empty house… there is only one note on a lunch box…

_Dear Kahoko, _

_I'm truly sorry for everything! _

_I was a mission chaser, a mission which was assigned by fate. _

_I was a blind man who was searching for his eyeglasses and never imaged that the missing subject was on his head all the time… _

_I was looking for the principles of life, and found you! The new color in my rainbow! _

_I surpassed my hatred and welcomed my domination. _

_Words are not enough to present my sensations and sorrow. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself and face reality that our love is different._

_Should I be strict and selfish? Should I force you to stay by my side? Should I equal fate with you? Should I carry on this pain… or just replace it with a hollow? _

_…Just go… and be happy…for me… and maybe this cavernous feeling will be filled with your mirth! _

_Always love you, _

_Akihiko_

The small, chalk white paper is receiving a hot shower from the valley of my eyes. I didn't discover how his feelings had changed. Love is selfish. Love is devastating. Love is… painful…

Len… why our love is different? Is this my punishment? Is it always the punishment of daring to be a daydreamer?

Stop it! … Just stop it! It's not worth the attempt! Love is coward… just like me.

I'm roaming the streets of Tokyo for hours… I'm aimless, just like my behavior towards my feelings. Why did I make suffer Akihiko? He didn't deserve it.

I just can't think!

Anywhere I go, anywhere I look… I only seek for golden eyes and cornflower blue hair! The flood of people is like water drops in the ocean… yet I long for only one face. Len's unique and rare smile shines in my mind. His touches are still burning on my skin. His taste is still confusing my tongue… His scent is engraved in my nostrils.

Is it real love?

If it is… then why should I experience unrequited love? It only proves how clumsy I am. Falling for the _frozen winter_ landscape sure brings pain…

I must turn off my mind before I go mad!

I rise up my head and face a yoga school. Maybe I can take a break here! Meditating is the best!

I'm lucky! A class has just started 5 minutes ago. I don't even have changing clothes, but the place provides comfortable clothes!

Peace and silence surround me. This is what I need right now. No Len… no Akihiko… no reminiscence of my mother and the problems with Hamai Misa…

I carefully listen to the instructor's calming voice and let my senses be guided by the springy picture in my mind…

"You're on a field of poppy! Nature is highly grown and you can touch the silky, green grass with your fingers. Do you feel its texture? Palpate the flowers! Do you feel the difference? The crimson red poppy petals are so soft. Do you feel the West wind? It's an enchanter, fleeing away from its purifying power. The gush of the wind is the shadows of angels, guiding you to a peaceful place to rest from your mind… Your head is leaned against a trunk of a willow tree and the wind of spring blows its horn to wake up the nature once again! Pink… peach… mint… silver… lilac and ecstatic cerulean are living hues and odors! Blind water, fire and ice are floating on the back of the devastating yet persevering spring breeze. If you were the foliage with mightiest pride! If you were a swift cloud travelling on the bright sky! If you were the dancing waves on high tide while caressing foams on low tide! You are the comrade of the spring. Drive your dead thoughts over the universe, like withering leaves to quicken a new birth! "

It's really relaxing… maybe now I can open my eyes… just for a moment. I feel that the harbor of my eyes is drying out. I should blink.

I sense the springy atmosphere by smelling the scent of the fresh grass and flowers. It really works but when I open my eyes… the winter, chilly breeze freezes my face… good-bye cherry blossom petals, good-bye sweet scents… good-bye calm mind!

Welcome! _My stoic, winter landscape!_

Scatter my feelings, like from inextinguishable hearth, ashes and sparks among the glaciated, shivering branches. Will they reach HIM?

I feel my dark pupil grows in anticipation… _what_ _is Len doing here? _

He is wearing dark pants and a knee long trench coat. A grey scarf keeps warm his neck. And… he is standing above my lotus pose. He doesn't smile… but somehow his gilded eyes are telling the contrary.

_"Kahoko… come back to me! " _

The trumpet of a silent prophecy… Oh… the wind in my heart! You skipped two seasons already and _winter is here_!

* * *

**Thanks for reading and I'm really grateful for those who take time to read this story and also leave a review! You make me extremely happy! **

**I feel so sorry for Japan, and what happened... it's something horrible! Please, pray for the people there! I do the same! I'm really sad... **

* * *

I promise, this was the last chapter that was sad! I guess i finished the topic of past and drama ... if you still have questions according to Kahoko's or Len's past, let me know and I try to clarify it in the next chapter!

Well... 4 more chapters to go... (with the epilogue)

I will try to respond for reviews asap! Unfortunately, I'm very busy lately and didn't have much time for socializing and showing my gratitude towards my readers! I'm truly sorry for that!

* * *

**Next chapter:** Silent checkmate!

Pure Kahoko&Len moments ;)

* * *

You know what to do... I know you want it... maybe this chapter is not so good... I feel again that I'm receiving less and less reviews :( Please, if you always read the update... grant me with a review ;)

**God Bless everyone and Pray! **


	18. Silent checkmate

**Roommates**

**Chapter 18: Silent checkmate**

* * *

**_Hino Kahoko: my opened heart_**

_Looking at the starry sky pains me as if my heart has been piercing by a silver knife. The thought of rain, is passing through my sight and slipping, only to be drawn into the earth. His beautiful brilliance releases forth a bright light that strikes me with both love and confusion. And therein lays the reason why I let forth my sigh and had the urge to steal his heart!_

**_Tsukimori Len: my hidden heart_**

_Time has quantity and also quality. Under the spell of the linear timeline, I was counting the dates and didn't measure the quality of my time. Until now, the numbers of my days have turned into millions but they have won over quality, only with YOU!_

* * *

"So, which exit should I take? "

His deep, masculine voice penetrates into my mind and I'm already lost. I'm just glaring at a huge, opened map which is resting on my lap. The lines and city names are blurry… They are having a loud party in my brain and I feel like I'm in a maze…

"Hmmm… take the exit I-2…" I'm not so confident. How could I be? I'm the worst navigator! And on the top of everything, I have no idea how to read a map! But how could I refuse his request?

And… how did we get into this situation?

* * *

"Len! Why are we running to the airport? "

I just packed my clothes in a luggage while he was waiting for me in the lobby of the condo. Akihiko caught me and I had a 5-minute conversation with him… "You are so weak… you fell in love with your first, male roommate… anyway, if you need me, you know how to find me! " His words were hurting but somehow I understand his feelings. Then he kissed me… noooo why do I remember on the kiss now? OK… our lips met, only for a moment, but still! And his whispering syllables: "I love you as a woman… never forget this! " How could I forget?

So, we were running to the airport to catch the plane but… Len bought the tickets in the last moment and we could only get seats on the coach (in front of the lavatory… ) and the destination was not Vienna but Munich.

The flight was a complete disaster. But it was not uninteresting because… I discovered something about Len!

He was reading during the flight and his right arm was resting on the elbow rest… people were making a line to the lavatory and accidentally, they pushed his arm. He responded with a 'half-polite' nod and 'no problem' but I was studying his expression. If you look closer… his lips curved down with 2 millimeters! It was hardly recognizable but I could claim victory in my discovery! Also, he knit his brows just a little higher. He was angry! So, he could show emotions! Tsukimori Len knew how to look angry. OK… just a little bit, but I was merry as a sand-boy! On the other hand, I totally understood his reaction…

One time, I also visited the lavatory and I opened the door too fast and… I just heard an 'Ouch' from someone… A man was kneeling in front of the door, looking for Len's pen and I hit him with the door, while he fell back and landed on Len's legs! That was the last straw for my ice prince! He remained silent for the rest of the flight and I believe that he didn't even sleep…though his eyes were tight closed!

In Munich… a surprise struck me…

"Are we going to take the train to Vienna? " This was my first assumption…

"No. I want to rent a car! " His face was serious and hard… nobody could argue with him but I didn't get his twisted logic. Didn't he feel tired? It's like 6 hours driving… or even more…

"Why? " A credulous question left my lips.

"It's better… " This was his answer. Though, it didn't satisfy my curiosity. "Can you be my navigator? "

He rented an expensive car for a whole week. We stopped at a nearby restaurant for dinner and he bought a Germany-Austria map at the first gas station on the highway. The map had become my new friend… or enemy… It's just too much responsibility. If we get lost, he will blame me for sure!

* * *

A silent sackbut strikes my ears when I look at the rear view mirror and study the color feast on the ink firmament. It's getting dark… really dark! What should I do? It's not enough that I'm bad with maps but how can you get a better view if it's dark?

And I also don't know what should I do with Len… we haven't had a proper conversation since we left Japan. What if…

"Are you OK? Your cheeks are red…" His staring eyes are glued to my face for a second then he averts his head back to the road.

"Yes. I'm fine…" I lie… I feel sick… and tired and I'm afraid of his reaction. I'm still not sure if he loves me but he flew to Japan just to get me… didn't he?

Will he hate me when I share my past? I'm such a coward. Why couldn't I make him sit down and listen to me before we took the flight? Maybe he won't need me after he hears my explanation.

"We're going to stop at a small village…" He interrupts my mental battle.

"Sure…" Kahoko! Get a grip of yourself! "Len… I…" Why is it so hard? Just say it! "I… I should tell you something… mainly about my past! " Bingo! Good job Kahoko! You have started the conversation!

"I know everything. We shouldn't talk about something that… doesn't affect us anymore!" He is really calm and composed. But I still can't read his expression. His mother should have told him…

"Do…do you hate me?" The critical question and I don't need the answer. Akihiko also blamed me because it was easier for him.

Silence surrounds us…

I knew it…

He does hate me…

Then…what am I doing here?

I ruined his healthy life… his sight, his burn, and causing him to be alone… without a sibling. I'm just the _indirect_ cause of more people's sorrow but still… it's the best to take the blame. Probably, that's why he is cold and antisocial.

"No. I don't. I don't have any reason."

His right hand abandons the gearshift and seeks for my knee. He lingers there for a while, causing me a heart attack! When he gets bored, he reaches for my hand and keeps it. Our hands are intertwined for several minutes and then his index finger begins caressing my fingers. He starts with my pinky finger: first the outer side, very slowly, then around, and lastly my nails. He repeats the movement on my ring finger and with the others until my thumb.

I have a heartless beating! He's giving me the illusion of freedom! The freedom of love and being loved! He explodes my senses with mere touches! I'm acting like a teenager… blushing and shaking under the touch of the beloved man: flushed cheeks, shaking muscles, heavy respiration… it's just a raging thunderstorm inside my body!

Len should use the gearshift as we are heading to the exit… the loss of the comfort of his hand is painful… Good-bye… torrid, space filling sensation! Just like a sudden, frigid breeze during a flowerful springy night…

Nothing could recompense for the lost touches and caresses… Not even the sweet air…

I'm a little bit disappointed. I wished to talk more about 'my past'. It's not pleasant but he settled down the conversation with a simple statement. I have to admit that his words reassured me but I'm craving for more. His sweetness should be brought up to the surface… I know he is capable of it!

"I'm coming back in thirty minutes. Do you want to stay in the car or go to the gas station and eat something? "

His eyes are waiting for my reply, but I'm totally confused. Where is he going? And why doesn't he invite me?

"I…I will go to the gas station…" I'm not gonna stay in the car, alone! I can use the restroom and get a strong coffee before I fall asleep. It's like 5 more hours driving.

"Fine, see you! " He grabs his valet and locks the car. What is the mystery for?

I'm taking my time in the restroom: washing my face with cold water is the best idea so far. I need to be fully awake. Oh nooo.. My sight in the mirror is terrible. I have dark circles under my eyes and I'm worn out.

I had my coffee and some crackers but he is still not here. Does he plan on leaving me behind? Then why would he mention he's going somewhere? I'm afraid… really…

But a light blue haired young man appears on the horizon and he is coming closer to my sitting pose.

"Sorry… I made you wait. " He grabs my hand and leads me to the car. "This is for you…" A cold bracelet is placed on my wrist.

"What's this? It's… gorgeous! " It's an oval shaped pendant. A single rose is carved in the dark colored gem stone. The flower's color is ivory. There is another gem stone in the middle of the rose, it's tiny, and it sparkles. The bracelet itself looks white gold.

"It's a cameo bracelet. " I heard about it before. It was really famous in the Victorian era. Mostly, royal women used them, probably they had a whole set of cameos. It's feminine.

"Thank you but you sho…." I can't finish my sentence because he places his index finger on my lips! Does he intend to kill me with a heart attack? My boiling blood rivers meet in the estuary of my cheeks… It's hot… too hot.

"Sssssss… it's a gift from me. If you don't like it, just don't wear it. " He turns back to the wheel and leaves the parking lot.

What a man! He would be offended if I refuse his gift… but gift… for what?

"I love it!" I pout and caress the bracelet with my fingers. He has a minuscule smile, carving up at the edge of his lips.

"Did you study the map? I need to know the next exit." He heaves and I can bet that he is aware of my ignorance.

"Of course…" I lie again. I was only anxious but I didn't have in mind to re-read the map. And I don't have more intentions to deepen my relationship with this piece of annoying paper!

* * *

It's been like 2 hours that we are on a desolated area. It's dark. It's a forest. And the road is winding. Well, Kahoko, what did you expect from a mountain area? But this is really not good. Len is taciturn since we left the highway. And he doesn't complain about the road but it's more than obvious that we are LOST!

"Kahoko…" Here it comes! I'm trembling… but he hasn't even finished his sentence.

"Yes…" I sound like a screeching note on a violin.

"We are lost, aren't we?" He's looking at me from the edge of his right eye. And he is scary.

"I…I don't think so…" Denying the axiomatical fact will cause more damage for sure but I just can't admit that I'm extremely lame with maps.

He stops the car… it doesn't matter that it's the middle of the road because in the two hours, I have seen only 1 car besides us.

"Len! " He opens the door and escapes from the car… I cannot do much just trail after him. But it's so cold and scary outside.

"Why didn't you tell me…? " He is holding his head in his palms. You would think that he has a serious headache. Probably, he has one as a result of my poor navigation.

"About…" He steps closer to me and envelops me between his arms. I hang my fingers on his shirt just like some kind of bird is clinging on a branch…

"You're trembling. What's wrong? Are you afraid of something, or are you just cold?" His concerned words calm me down and begin to believe that he holds sensitive feelings for me. Oh God! It would be the dream of my dreams!

"Both…" I whisper but he strokes my back in a gentle manner. His fingers are like feathers… it feels… amazing.

"I'm here…" I tighten my grip on his shirt… This forest gives me goose bumps. We should get going, but where? I have the same sensation from him like from Akihiko. Those caring and protecting arms give me comfort and safety…but Len is not Akihiko…

"Len? " I look up just to meet his eyes. "Yes. We are lost. " I avert my gaze…but his left hand reaches for my face and direct my sight back to his eyes. "I'm sorry. " It's my fault…

"Where is the map? I'm exhausted. " I guess 'exhausted' is an understatement. He looks like a zombie, but a very handsome zombie!

* * *

After 3 more hours of driving… we have reached Vienna. Finally! It's already early morning… I tried my best to read the map and help out Len. He needs to sleep! Well, I also have to sleep but it's not that important.

Home sweet home… I mean… It's Len's house, not mine!

What is this horrible smell? Is it smoke? Did he have a barbeque in the kitchen?

"Len… did you burn your kitchen down? " I verbalize my first assumption.

"No…" His curt answer echoes in the living room. He lights some fragranced candles just to cover up the stinky air. "Let's go to sleep!"

He holds my hand and I'm following him. Oh NO! Does he want to sleep together? I'm happy but I'm not ready! I'm not ready! How will I tell him? Oh God, he is heading to his… his… ROOM… my heartbeat is like a fast drum… why can't I swallow that ball in my dry throat?

He pushes down the doorknob… and our hands are still clasped together.

"Do you like it?" My fingers lose the warmth of his hand when Len's pointing at a small fish tank. It gives home to two horse fishes. There are some plants and a stone castle in it. It's fabulous!

"Yes! When did you…?" He embraces me again, but this time with more force. I can sense his quivering muscles in his arms… Len, what do you want to say? What do you long for?

"Sleep well! You know where your room is! "

* * *

Again… this loosing sensation makes me shiver under my skin. I just hug myself with my two arms… my head is nesting on my right shoulder and I struggle to engrave his scent into my memory…

"Len! Sweet dreams!" I whisper to myself and shut my door.

What might dreams do when they are sleeping? Do they reborn in the cosmic firmament? They are just like the sparkling stars! During the night, they spread their light just to guide you to your dreams and during daylight, they reborn in your daydreaming…just to guide you through the difficulties in life…

Daydreaming is not a poison. Daydreaming is born from the glistening stars in your eyes. It nests in those drowning valleys of your melting orbs and anytime it fails… crystals are welling up…just like now…

* * *

"Len… can you…talk about Sakura? "

We have slept like 4 hours then ate lunch outside. He didn't let me cook… though I wanted to. Now…well… we are playing chess! And it seems I will lose because he is looking at me with goo-goo eyes and his lame reason was: 'I try to figure out your next move!' So, he is glaring at my eyes for several minutes before he takes a move.

"Sakura Robertson… her father is American. " He heaves then moves a pawn. I believed that he would refuse to talk about her.

"She… she… is just a little girl and I made her suffer because of my selfish purposes. " I'm sure what he is talking about but he doesn't go into details. This is a huge step that he agreed to say at least this little about the incident.

"Sakura is fine now. One time she mentioned a music fairy that she can hear him and the fairy promised her a magic violin…" A gentle smile laces his lips and somehow I can relate myself to this fairy and to the magic violin… It's good to know… Now, I'm not that surprised.

He's holding my gaze in his gilded eyes, just like my left hand is resting in his right hand.

"You've lost…" He knocks down my vanquished king and grabs the queen in his palms. "Let's practice the Butterfly lovers, shall we? "

I docilely follow him to the balcony and we begin playing at the same time. I'm wondering who will play the solo part… It will be Len for sure or maybe Kiriya…

His face reflects calmness and he is composed. I don't see any more hesitation in his eyes. I should do the same and be a proper queen for him. I need to be a fearless queen who says what's in her heart! Even if he refuses my feelings, I just must share with him! _Even if those daydreams will never be reborn in my night sky… they will remain my most precious dreams! Forever! I will be forever your conquered queen! Will I be able to fight over my cowardice and open my heart?_

* * *

Million thanks for reading and I'm super grateful for the reviews and supports! You don't have any idea how much does it mean to me! I'm extremely happy!

I'm sorry, I'm late with this update but I was really busy :(

About this chapter... I know, it's kind of 'sloppy'... but this is a 'bridge' and I needed this chapter to be like this... the whole chapter is kind of metaphorical, hope you understand why. Len is still hesitant, but he is melting up ;)

Hope you still like this chapter... it's not so interesting, it's more...emotional from the side of Kahoko... just too many feelings are welling up in her heart and ... well I don't want to be a spoiler ;)

Ah... it seems: No more Len's POV ;)

* * *

2 more normal chapters + the epilogue ;) there will be one more problem ;)

* * *

**Next chapter: Easter Snowball** ;) (kind of funny, romantic, and resolutions for problems)

* * *

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you know what to dooooo, you would make me really happpppyyyyyy, pleaseeeeeeeeee review :$

**I'm still thinking of Japan... please, keep your prayers!**


End file.
